I should have added

"starts talking to me" in a very friendly way

Ah, yes, it's time for our semi-annual 'brave straight men threatened by the (self-assumed) admiration of (self-assumed) gay men in the gym' thread, otherwise known as the 'I'm flattering myself indirectly' thread. And it includes the inevitable protestations of not being homophobic, while at the same time implying that violence is a likely choice of behaviours (and that the brave straight man will naturally win such a conflict).

Gosh, how terrible it must be to have gay men gawking at you! Almost as bad as it is for women when unwelcome straight men are giving them the ol' eye, eh? Isn't it simply a trauma when straight privilege doesn't work in your favour? Lord, I feel faint.

Of course, that assumes that the men looking at you are in fact, gay. Thailand is not as homophobic as most other places and you may be assuming quite the wrong things. Perhaps they're laughing at a stain on your underwear or that inconvenient hole you haven't noticed? There's also a certain curiousity by straight men in many Asian countries about what white guys 'look like down there,' just as straight white men (if they were honest) would admit they have some curiousity about that in the other direction, too.

Furthermore, it assumes the men are actually looking at you. Your post sounds more than slightly, well, paranoid- considering that you are implying violence against strangers who haven't harmed you and really have done nothing more than look at you (if you are even right about that). Perhaps Thailand isn't the sort of country you should live in - it's certainly not the sort of country where the 'You looking at me?' attitude will help you live long.

Aw heck, don't listen to me. Go out there swinging, please- you deserve it, you brave straight man!

Posted the same comment many years back, and was assured by the extremist elements of the fraternity that it was my own subliminal desires surfacing, as that would never ever happen. You must of lead them on, or so they say !!

Not a basher, have some gay friends /aquaintences, but i can understand how you feel. Best way to describe would be for a male getting changed in a womans dressing room, and hitting on them as they get changed. A woman would rightly be very upset, so why not a guy?

Disgusting.

This post has been edited by skippybangkok: 2009-11-04 22:30:48

If you can't stand the heat stay out of the kitchen.

Btw, the thread has already led to one warning and I will be watching it very closely.

Oh, and since this is a gay-related topic I'm moving it to the gay subforum where it will have all the gay subforum rules applied to it. Enjoy reading all the gay rules and threads, guys (you just know you want to!!!)

Photo proof please??

Oi, I see this topic is suddenly now in a different forum, so i will be sure to alter my initial response accordingly..

OP...how dag'nam self indulgent you are..deliberately trying to tease your same sex admirers like that..

Shame on you,you should have more respect, or at least indulge the accused a little before giving a swift rebuttal

If you have such a sexy body then you should keep it to yourself or at least cover up a little when in mixed company..

But dont listen to me,perhaps my views are little distorted due to the fact i rarely ever recieve attention from EITHER sexes

A few weeks ago I was eating at a restaurant in Chiang Mai.

The place was quite full, than an elderly well worn American women aged in her late 60s/early 70s sat opposite me on the same table. Within minutes she began to chat to me. She seemed pleasant enough and I was enjoying the conversation. But after a while her questions were becoming more personal, than she asked me if I wanted to visit her later that evening at her home. In other words, she was chatting me up.

I was about two thirds of the way through my meal, stopped eating, paid my bill and went. Yuk, I thought. I’m not that desperate yet.

Later on I began thinking how it must be for young women who are constantly gawked up by ugly well passed they’re prime gross middle aged and old men, who in some cases are old enough to be they`re grandads.

Yes, I agree, many guys including myself may find it disturbing being ogled at by people they don’t fancy or find repulsive. It must be even worst for young ladies who probably have to deal with this scenario every day of their lives.

The answer is, if one doesn’t like the crowd in any establishment, for whatever reasons, than change your venue and go somewhere else.

Griping about it on here wont change the situation. In life there is always those around us who we are going to find irritating. That’s life and not really that much of a problem where it`s worth publishing a thread about it.

This post has been edited by sassienie: 2009-11-05 00:30:03

From a gay perspective- and I have seen a lot of Thai gyms- I *never* see the more outrageous things the OP says happen, to me or to anyone else much more attractive (whether foreign or Thai). There is flirting and glancing, but it is VERY discreet. If it were routine and as blatant as the OP seems to think it is, I would have certainly noticed it by now- and I go to some very gay friendly gyms.

To be blunt, even in the cruisiest of areas- even in gyms which are actually meant to be only for gays and to encourage cruising, for example- the locker room is not considered a place where you confront people directly with your liking of them. The most I've ever noticed happening is people attempting to get other people's attention and striking up a conversation- which HAS happened to me and to others I've seen, both Thai and foreign. Most gay guys would consider it very unusual and off-putting- even in an *all gay* environment- to behave inappropriately for the setting- and the locker room ain't the kind of setting for making aggressive passes at others.

So I am less than convinced that the OP is being entirely objective, especially since violence becomes his very next topic. Not that he's homophobic, you understand.

P.S. with only 55 posts and a membername 'Vigilante,' I'm also less than convinced that the OP is entirely real....

As with any group and the general pattern of they’re behaviour, there are always going to be exceptions to the rule.So there is probably some fact in what the OP says.

But the OPs statement about solving his problem with some sort of violence, or in other words, I’m not shifting, you will play by my rules or else, gives us an idea that this OP is someone of low education. Normally when someone has to resort to verbal or physical abuse in order to get their point across, means they do not have the intelligence to deal with a problem in any other way.

The user name, Vigilante is a give away to what sort of character the person is. They are not really suited to Thailand and wouldn’t want to associate with someone like that socially.


Vigilante

The rules of this subforum provide that it is gay-friendly. Further attempts to stretch the boundaries will result in further suspensions/penalties, plus the closure of the thread.

The point of my thread was to highlight in a reasonable balanced manner the fact that I find it unpleasant to be sleazed over SOME by gay men in the gym. I am not imagining this and I find it quite unfair that some people can quickly point to me being paranoid, delusional or trying to flatter myself in some way. I have not exagerated in any way about the behaviour I have experienced and I must stress that most decent people gay or otherwise in there behave in a polite manner. Some people have behaved in the manner I suggested earlier, if you have not experienced this even in gay gyms good for you.

I have not resorted to violence and to be honest would not, I am just very frustrated with feeling disrespected in this way and every person has a breaking point. I have tolerated this for one year.

Guesses at my personality from my username or number of posts are completely inaccurate as are those about my educational background.

I can understand completely about how women have to tolerate this everywhere they go, I am sorry for that but it is not me that is doing this.

This topic was aimed at a general audience and I object to it being moved to a forum specifically for gay people and their interests.

Well, that is certainly a more balanced reply, so I think moving this thread to the gay subforum has been good for you and it. Otherwise I can only say you must have been extremely, powerfully unlucky and you should probably take the advice of past posters and find another gym; you're certainly not going to prevail against a group of Thais in a location where you are regularly known to go- so whether you lash out or not, to avoid them you're the one who's going to have to find a new place. Either that or find a convincing way to communicate your opinion without violence or much confrontation. Perhaps you should ask a Thai who goes to the same gym for his opinion on the matter.

How many body-builders does it take to change a lightbulb?

Four. One to change it and 3 to stand by saying, "Ya looking good man, Ya looking good".



I really don't understand the desire to punch anybody for even the most blatant leering. Looking can't hurt.

Are you sure you don't have repressed sexuality issues that are behind your latent anger?

I find your reply rather patronising. How exactly has it been good for me? please clarify. I have not lied about any events in my initial post nor have I changed any in my second post. Some gay people have behaved like this in my real experience I have no reason to lie over this.

I think you completely overeacted to my initial post believing me to be some kind of lying homophobe out to spread lies and discredit gay people and took it upon yourself to make personal attacks and accusations that I was talking BS. Your job is to moderate the forum not try to discredit peoples posts based on real experiences because you don't agree with them. I also know numerous other people from work and generally around Bangkok that have had similar experiences in the same chain of gym.

As for changing gyms, no I will not do that. As much as it frustrates me to be disrespected in such a way i find my gym convenient and well equiped and if I have to tolerate couple of idiots to workout then thats life and I will get on with it.

So the men that you allege think you are attractive are idiots?
Where's your self-esteem man? They're not idiots for thinking you're attractive. You are a beautiful man. Keep telling yourself that and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Thank the "idiots" for the flattery and encourage them to give you more attention.....you deserve it.

Not the men that think I am attractive, just the ones that display sleazy and disrespectful behaviour.

A beautiful man is something I am not. I must express there is in my opinion a difference between working out to keep strong and fit/supplement a sport rather than for the purpose of looking good in the mirror several times an hour. I somehow get the impression you believe I belong in the latter category. If that is the case you are wrong.

This post has been edited by Vigilante: 2009-11-05 03:04:15

No, wrong impression, although I understand how you got that from my previous post, which was just a joke in response to another post.

I'm being sarcastic. I agree with Ijustwannateach's first post that you may have repressed sexuality issues.
Regardless of your claim of being non-homophobic, your attitude towards gay admirers is one of a homophobe that is frightened of that little tingling in his loins whenever a gay man is around, and thus presents with anger.

555555

Negative opinion on gays = homophobic repressed homosexual?

OP, if you're really bothered just tell them to get lost and eventually they'll understand without you even saying a word. Works well with ladyboys too!

Or just don't bother and stick to the power rack. Less stares there

I`m actually a Bi sexual.

If I want sex, I have to buy it.

Hehe..saving a few baht tonight then??

same same

Personally I'm tri sexual.

I'll try anything,.

I used to be homophobic, shame on me..yet still will never understand why men would want to sleep with men, but my bpen rai khrap..when i was homophobic i used to joke that i wish there were more gay men, so there would be more available women for us hetros..now i have the philosophy of live and let live...i am sure many gay guys can't understand why men sleep with women..what a crazy world..who is right and who is wrong? neither i suppose..I have no idea