I Spent A Lot Of Money Getting Her To Uk,, Now she owes me!!

Below is a part of an e-mail from now an ex mate, we have met his intened bride in Issan and she is really nice, got the thumbs up from my Mrs, I got his mail 3 days ago and was shocked by it,

What are your views on this please, Cheers, Lickey.

quote..
Well I know its early days but I do trust her despite all that has gone before us,,,,,,I have pointed these things out to her and all the money I have invested in her to bring her here,,,,,,,,,,,and I think she realises she owes it to me now to see it through and stay with me,,,,,,,she also knows she has a failed marriage behind her for whatever reason but now she realises she is with someone that is gonna look after her in return for her loyal love to me so I am pretty sure she aint gonna xxxx up,also she has given up a lot in thai to coem to me so I am as sure as I can be with her if all is still well in december we will marry then and then we willl go direct to croydon to get her 2 year stamp the same day ,,,,then she will get her indefinate stay.

OK, your friend's grammar is atrocious and he thinks of love as if he were a 12 year old.

She don't owe him nothin. He is not buying a slave. I hope for the sake of both of them he has an attitude adjustment.

We could also argue that your ex-mate is not super delicate when insisting on how much he spend, her first failed mariage, etc...

I guess that girl must be under some strong pressure from this guy. Will that really help a love relationship ? And, I don't know them, but does he deserve her ?

It seems to me he's insecure, and trying to convince himself everything is OK.

He's got some issues....but the "owes me" part doesn't refer to money in my opinion, he's saying he feels he has so much invested that she hopefully realizes the hard work and won't leave him.....he's paranoid, not cheap.

With his attitude she will be able to wrap him around her finger with ease.....if she were the type.

Hopefully his trust will grow and he will feel comfortable enough to shed his worry.

I don't believe he doesn't love her....on the contrary....he feels lucky as hel_l and he's scared to death of losing her.

Good luck to both of them.

"now an ex mate"

Over the Thai girl?

Yep, ex mate now, he has been to thai 10 times looking for mrs slave, he has "imported" 2 previously and the last one lasted 2 weeks and she wanted to come home, because she didnt want what he wanted, [let your imagination go to work, 55m 25fm] and he gloated to me that she would have a settlement visa on her PP for a long time and that would stop her travelling anywhere,

Now he has this new girl in UK, and i feel sorry for her to be with a specimen like him,

He sounds like a creep who would keep hold of her return ticket to Thailand if she refuses to be his "slave".

Very bad! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/angry.gif)

With the 3rd girl he is bringing into the country he does not seem to have learnt a lot, I wish them both well but having a person "owe" you after moving in with you for a week or two does not give a decent foundation for any relationship.

Its a given a lot of the girls marry guys for financial benefits , but with respect on both sides even with inequaility with money they can have a relationships.

I feel sorry for guys like the above and the girl in question

Sounds pretty much like about 95% of the guys that come here.... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)

Sounds to me that he deserves everything she (hopefully) gets out of the marriage.
These types cannot be helped, I'v met a few in my time and the best thing to do is let them get on with their lives and problems IMHO.
I feel very sorry for the poor unfortunate females that met this W@anker.

Dave

why didnt you warn the girl about this friend of yours ?

Sounds like he needs to read 'Fool in paradise' (IMG:style_emoticons/default/dry.gif)

Im pretty sure my Mrs told her what had gone on before with him, He met her on the net, and even aranged to get married before he met her, they went to BKK to get married, but she forgot she was still married and hadnt seen her husband for 6 years, so next stop was a solicitor to get a divorce, she got that and with the help of a visa firm [he paid] has gone to the UK,and now she owes him by staying with him,
Guilty on both sides perhaps, but why say she owes him for the 2000quid he has "invested" in her.....

Another strong point is i believe that if any girl is offered free travel to a western country will take it whatever.

Really?

Sounds like he was looking in the wrong section on the web,maybe housekeeper wanted would have been more appropriate.

deleted some flaming posts & replies to it. Please keep on topic & refrain from being rude to other posters. No warning issues this time but further posts of the same nature will result in a suspension

Thankyou Boo,

This post has been edited by Lickey: 2008-10-05 01:20:47

Whilst we are only seeing one side of the story, I agree with 'ronz28' - this guy is looking for a slave.

She is not 100% blameless in this but your ex-mate will do nothing for the image of the Farang !

Sometimes I am ashamed of belonging to the same race, would martians be this stupid too?? If not I Will go and live there.

You would expect in this time and age that behaviour like this would be .....oh well...

Yes, thanks Boo

Fair comment, Boo

sounds like they are both to blame:

He is treating women like a commodity and she is too desperate maybe to leave Thailand. In situations like this when people pair up too quick without spending enough time together to learn about each other they always end up in a mess.

Why start a topic like this about an (ex) mate? (IMG:style_emoticons/default/unsure.gif)

Reality of the situation - she doesnt owe your mate anything except the time it takes to gain permanent residency if this is what she is desiring. Relationships are risks and you roll the dice and hopefully it works out, but remember sometimes it doesnt. I understand your mate feels entitlement, but at the end of the day he can only hope that she loves him and she is with him for the right reasons.