120 replies to this topic
Posted 2008-08-20 20:51:35
 cathyy, on 2008-08-19 12:51:59, said:
I'm a creature almost as rare as a farang woman with a Thai husband....I'm a farang woman with a farang husband, living in Korat, not BKK. We aren't here on one of those generous expat packages, either, we're retired and living on a fixed income. After 2 years we still love it here.
Bina, if you ever come back to Korat, I'm the gal pal for you. I have grown kids back in the US myself. I sew clothes, do cross-stitch, bake, clean my house, and spend time on my computer. I live in a housing development about 15 kilometers south of Korat.
Bina, a foreign wife of a Thai man gets a visa pretty much automatically. There are no income requirements like there are for a farang husband with a Thai wife. So there's no trouble for you there if you ever return. The cost of living here is much less, too. I have taken to buying most of our produce at the local open air market for half the price in the supermarket. I could get meat there, but I'm uneasy with it. I bought meat at the open air market in the Philippines, but I was there right as the animal was slaughtered so knew it was safe.
Really? How big was it? Are you talking about a chicken or something bigger, like a goat or cow? Was there lots of blood?
Posted 2008-08-21 02:42:10
hi, well, thanx... but for the moment we are still staying here; every thing depends on this november and husband's visa status here... he cant get the language and that is a factor in getting a resident visa here cause they have to interview him w/o me translating all the time.. and he thinks hebrew is a difficult language compared to thai.....
this is definately a resurrected thread.. havent seen ruefang here for a while...
bina
Posted 2008-08-21 11:12:44
Rue and Mr Rue left Thailand for their new life in sunny Brisbane a couple of weeks back.
Sani
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Posted 2008-08-21 13:21:22
renunakorn, on 2008-08-15 20:27:06, said: hi everybody
i just found this topic because i was looking for some information about marriage visa. i just got married to a thai and it's so funny to read all your comments.
i didn't really find out how this website works but i will! how can i join your group?
i think every farang woman in the 'free country' is happy to meet more farang women!
yeah!
Yes Funny abit maried with farang and very hard to sharel of life
Posted 2008-08-22 01:42:03
poshthai, on 2008-08-18 07:16:26, said: so farangs are big,fat and sweaty lol.also all farang men in chiang rai are disgusting,thats even more funny.
...maybe fat and sweaty and crazy and old and ugly, but not so big! 
Posted 2008-08-24 15:03:01
Hello to all you wonderfull women!!
So so so so so happy to find this forum! Hopfully (finguers crossed) i'll be a happly married to my Thai b/f next month. Not easy since it would also be the first time i meet the big family (even though i've met cusinse and reletives who worked here in Israel, so i feel a little more calm).
We would live about 100km north of Korat, when we decide to leave Israel.
It would be great reading and hearing and exchanging experinces with other ladies who are married to Thai men.
Thank you for creating this forum.
Posted 2008-08-24 17:49:46
Welcome to the forum Sarahbrien, Another one of our ladies, Bina is in Israel & married with a thai from Korat too, read some of her posts, she is a wealth of information & has already been through the marriage process which I beleive is complex & difficult for foriegn marriages in Israel.
Thinking about it, 100Km north of Korat would take you very close to my husbands town, what is the name of the place? My curiosity is piqued 
Posted 2008-08-24 19:16:21
Boo, on 2008-08-24 18:49:46, said: Welcome to the forum Sarahbrien, Another one of our ladies, Bina is in Israel & married with a thai from Korat too, read some of her posts, she is a wealth of information & has already been through the marriage process which I beleive is complex & difficult for foriegn marriages in Israel.
Thinking about it, 100Km north of Korat would take you very close to my husbands town, what is the name of the place? My curiosity is piqued
Hiya Boo!
Hmmmm... it would be north of Phimai. Ampuer Bua-yai? ring a bell? thats where i'll be hopfully next month. I do know these days it is so much harder getting through the marriage process, than when my folks got married (a jewish and non jewish). that is one of the things i do worry about once we come back from Thailand.
Would anyone know how does having to citizenships affect marring a Thai citizen??
Boo, let me know is that rang a bell for you or your hubby.. 
Posted 2008-08-25 03:11:54
hi, all, yes i answered sara's pm's with an invit to my house... she's a good hour or so away from me... finally someone from thai visa will see me for real. maybe.
cross all fingers cause in november we have our ghastly visa thingy coming up... planning to make an appointment already month ahead since every year they:1. go on strike. 2. all the jewish holidays come up and all work goes slowdown.
citizenship doesn affect your boyfriend, but hope that he has done his army service there, or got his notice saying he doesnt have to serve... u will need that for the thai side of the marriage stuff for here....
good to know the cousins (they arent real cousins for the most part i hope u realize that. they are friends of the heart/pi/nong jai ) but still helps to know them... half the people that will be introduce dto u as relatives arent blood relatives btw...
and whatever u do, keep a separate bank account for you alone and one for u and him (he cant have his own here in israel but u can join him to your's; then open a separate one for u... dont argue. just do it. take it from a practical divorced lady. ) but u will need that bank account for visa stuff (the joint one).
the rest i messaged u...
bina
Posted 2008-08-25 12:51:55
bina, on 2008-08-25 03:11:54, said: hi, all, yes i answered sara's pm's with an invit to my house... she's a good hour or so away from me... finally someone from thai visa will see me for real. maybe.
cross all fingers cause in november we have our ghastly visa thingy coming up... planning to make an appointment already month ahead since every year they:1. go on strike. 2. all the jewish holidays come up and all work goes slowdown.
citizenship doesn affect your boyfriend, but hope that he has done his army service there, or got his notice saying he doesnt have to serve... u will need that for the thai side of the marriage stuff for here....
good to know the cousins (they arent real cousins for the most part i hope u realize that. they are friends of the heart/pi/nong jai ) but still helps to know them... half the people that will be introduce dto u as relatives arent blood relatives btw...
and whatever u do, keep a separate bank account for you alone and one for u and him (he cant have his own here in israel but u can join him to your's; then open a separate one for u... dont argue. just do it. take it from a practical divorced lady. ) but u will need that bank account for visa stuff (the joint one).
the rest i messaged u...
bina
Yep, i know and am very awer of the "Family Relations" that go one in the Thai cultuer. i did work with and meet 2 cousins who are blood related, and the rest were like you said pee/nong jai... it's nice to have a big family. at times.
Separate bank account? ALWAYS! never thought other wise. I also told my friend (religious) to have a separate bank account before she got married. took a while for me to explane to her why, and the face that it wouldn't hurt theyr marrige and it's always important to have some money on the side for yourself. he probably will have one of his own as well.
Noy did the army. as well as i did...funny...hhmmmm i wonder if our kids will do the army as well...
Posted 2008-08-31 06:21:08
Hi ladies,
I have only just read this topic, and am sad to hear RueFang has gone back to Australia, but very glad she posted all of that wonderful information first. Meme and sbk - thankyou as well.
My bf is a diver, at present I meet up with him on lovely tropical islands with plenty of tourists in southern Thailand and Malaysia, but we frequent the not so touristy parts a lot. I am used to standing out like a giant white monster from years of that before we even met. It was a bit strange at first though, as being on small islands where everyone knows everyone and all they do, it was a bit more specific, but we all adjusted to it - I think they were probably more interested in the fact he had a girlfriend, what she looked like was secondary (like I say, small islands - not a lot happens).
He is from Yala/Pattani, and I have been curious about where he lives but not brave enough to visit as yet (have also been terrified of his mum as she did NOT approve of our relationship at first - don't mess with mamma or her bongsu... who knows what could happen to a girl in a "volatile region". ..).
The posts by the women on this and other topics in ThaiVisa have helped me understand a lot, and I might just visit one day, as the more I read, the more the Thai South is demystified for me.
I have bought every book I ever seen on the Thai South (all 5 of them) in an effort to understand a bit more, but appart from the female journalist working for the Singapore newspaper a long time ago, they have virtually nothing about 'farang' women in the south.
This and the other forums I have seen you ladies post on have been so insightful.
My bf had warned me early on that I would be the only westerner if I ever went home with him, and that people may act strangely and say rude things etc. Its nice to know that I might not be the first western woman seen in the area after all, and that it is possible to even make friends there.
I have never posted before, the following by sbk cracked me up and was the clincher to do so:
sbk, on 2007-07-02 12:00:33, said: Do not get me started on the unwillingness to deal with authority! Seems to be a Thai disability 
My husband is exactly the same and often makes me call, regardless if its about the phone, the internet, immigration, whatever. Its like pulling teeth, getting him to deal with stuff, I swear to god. But, hearing you guys have the same problems (as well, other female friends have confessed the same) makes me feel better and realize it is epidemic
- you are definitely NOT alone.
How my man has obtained a passport, ID card and managed multiple border crossings a year for 10+ years before we met - I have no idea.
I work on a ship in the middle of the ocean, off the coast of Africa, as far away as I could possibly be from Thailand. I have had phone conversations that drove me crazy - where he wanted me to sort out a work permit/visa/who-knows-what "paperworks" in Hat Yai (where I have never been and do not speak the lingo) for him... I swear to god it nearly killed me before he finally realised I actually couldn't do anything...
...or should this bit be on the "How do Thai Men respond to Womens Emotions" thread... I don't want to get banned for beng off-topic on my first post.
I hope to read more from you wonderful women in the future.
Posted 2008-08-31 08:59:56
Welcome to the forum, redfish, and don't worry too much about straying from the topic. Its all interrelated anyway
I think Mr Rue Fang is from Phattalung, so Rue, once she readjusts to life in Oz with the hubby will hopefully reappear from time to time and you can ask her some more specific questions about life in the deep South. We also have a Southern forum which is mostly populated by men, but you could try asking there as well, if you have any specific deep South questions.
I think alot of these issues must have to do with the fact that many of us women with Thai husbands have married men from rural areas, unused to dealing with authority. I suspect (but could be dead wrong ) that men from Bangkok are more willing to deal. Or perhaps its a personality trait of men attracted to farang women 
Posted 2008-09-01 10:25:06
Redfish, you don't say what religion your bf is as this may make a big difference to how his family react to you. I am surprised to hear that his mother does not approve, which makes me suspect that he may be muslim (and therefore his family would probably have expected him to marry a muslim). I have not yet heard of a Thai Buddhist family rejecting the idea of a Thai/Farang relationship on principle, apart from one case where the Thai bf came from a higher income family than the farang.
Aside from all of that though, and if his family are now supportive of you, I would really encourage you to go. My bf is from Trang, where I have been many times, but he has family in Yala and we have passed through briefly. I have been to Had Yai a few times and my friend is married to a Songkhla native and has visited many times. I and she have never experienced any problems in the far south. Yes there is a muslim majority but by and large the Thai muslims are still moderate compared to other muslims and are just as friendly and curious towards us as anyone else in the country. I would always dress conservatively in these areas, but you will find that in many areas of rural Thailand, it is appropriate to cover up - muslim or not.
Many of the girls on this board would have been the first farangs to ever visit their bfs villages but that is nothing to be scared of. Unless there is some underlying tension between your bf and his family over you, you will have a great time. People will stare (a lot), touch your skin, call you beautiful (and often fat), force strange types of food on you, make you try betel nuts (and generally laugh at your expense) but all you have to do is smile and laugh along with them. I find playing with the kids helps take my mind of being self conscious as once they have got over their initial shyness, they don't really focus on the racial differences. It is an amazing experience and one that as a partner of someone from another culture, is really neccessary in order to get a better idea of their roots, just as I am sure you would love him to meet your family if you were serious enough.
Posted 2008-09-01 14:56:49
bina, on 2008-08-21 02:42:10, said: this is definately a resurrected thread.. havent seen ruefang here for a while...
bina
Go the resurgance of the thread! I only just got internet put on at home (which is now in Australia) so have been offline for a couple of months almost.
redfish44, on 2008-08-31 06:21:08, said: Hi ladies,
I have only just read this topic, and am sad to hear RueFang has gone back to Australia, but very glad she posted all of that wonderful information first. Meme and sbk - thankyou as well.
Don't be sad  there's still a few farang women hanging around in the south! After 4 years of living in the village in the same house as my in-laws, my hub and I decided that to keep our sanity we would give Aus an equal 4 year trial so he can experience my culture for a change. We've been back here for a month and he already has 2 jobs working at Thai restaurants! Just walked in and got offered them on the spot.. very lucky. I'm still looking, but at least he's settled and made some friends because funnily enough the chef's father comes from Phatthalung and the owner is from Hat Yai... all the southerner's keeping it in the family!!
I've got to say that even after 4 years, I never got used to the staring...it's so invasive, but you can't hold it against them because it's not like they ever see white people in the flesh when you're living way out in rural thailand..that whole time, I only ever saw 3 other farang - all old men and all in town. Feel free to ask anything you like of me!
Good luck with everything 
Posted 2008-09-01 15:14:28
Welcome back, Rue!
Good to hear your husband is settling in Personally, my husband loved the US when we went. Of course it helped that we were in one of the most beautiful areas (Monterey Bay in CA) with fabulous weather. I imagine if I were from Minnesota he might have felt differently
Posted 2008-09-01 20:29:40
ObertoSanchez, on 2008-08-15 21:45:05, said: A very rare breed indeed, are there any couples in bangkok? Havent seen one in 5 years.
Yes you're right there-Farang girls with Thai husbands are like hens teeth!!I live in Bangkok with my Thai husband of 16 years and can say I have only seen one other couple-up in Sukothai- since I have been living here for the past year and a half. Great to find this forum site. Where I live there are no other farangs, although at some of the shopping centres around I see the occasional white guy
Posted 2008-09-02 13:55:13
Hey Ladies.
I have a question.....actully 2...
Now a days... as it seems to be getting tense in Bangkok, does anyone know, or think how are things going to be in about 2-3 weeks?
And would it be safe? I'm sure walking around with eyes WIDE open and keeping away from "hot spots" is the best thing to do, but i was wondering if anyone knows differently or has any other ideas.... i'd love to know
 from the sunny Holyland
Posted 2008-09-02 19:18:03
Quote - Farang girls with Thai husbands are like hens teeth!!
I see a few couples around Bangkok. But when we are upcountry near Nong Khai we are quite the rare attraction. I don't mind too much but my Thai hubby-to-be doesn't like the old widows that gather around cackling, drinking rice wine and laughing at my pathetic attempts to speak Isaan. He took particular offence at one woman's attempt to feel my 'nom yai' and now we stay at his sister's house a few kilometres away. Ah, Thai family politics
Posted 2008-09-03 09:33:15
Boo, on 2007-06-27 19:28:53, said: I can sympathise with you. I lived in a small town in Khon Kaen with my thai husband for several months after moving from down south & lasted 5 days living with his mum, aunt & 2 neices so rented a house a few streets away(nothing wrong with them, we all get on but I don't do living in another women house).
I too was the only other farang women in town (prob nearly most of KK province too I would imagine!!) & had to put up with being groped by all the old ladies in the MIL's company who liked to have a feel of the nom yai as well as other parts of my being
Driving to the 7-11 was a treat with school kids stopping en mass in the playground at the sight of a 6ft blonde farang women driving past & after the first few times I stopped freaking out at being followed around whilst I shopped at seven by the local police man who would leave his road side check point when he saw me coming & trail me to see what I bought.
I didn't mind living there so much even with the ogling & touching & stalking but found it soooo boring with no other farang women to meet up with or talk to. In fact ThaiVisa was my life line during those months. I did eventually find an American teacher at the local school but she was part of a Christian enxhange thing & not really my kind of person & I wasn't hers I think, she didn't seem to approve that I had hooked up with a native :0
So welcome to thaivisa & now you have found us, hope you enjoy yourself. 4odd years ago when I found this place there was only about 3 of us farang women around & now I counted recently we have at least 50 with 20+ actively posting & a large majority are either with or married to thais too.
I'm curious about something.Do you girls get milked(financially) by your mate and their relatives the way us men do?
Posted 2008-09-03 09:39:48
I don't. But then, I didn't marry a poor man. It was the other way around, poor American girl marries rich Thai
To be perfectly frank, IMO, the only ones who get "milked" are the ones who allow it.
Posted 2008-09-03 09:43:26
sarahbrien, on 2008-08-25 12:51:55, said: bina, on 2008-08-25 03:11:54, said: hi, all, yes i answered sara's pm's with an invit to my house... she's a good hour or so away from me... finally someone from thai visa will see me for real. maybe.
cross all fingers cause in november we have our ghastly visa thingy coming up... planning to make an appointment already month ahead since every year they:1. go on strike. 2. all the jewish holidays come up and all work goes slowdown.
citizenship doesn affect your boyfriend, but hope that he has done his army service there, or got his notice saying he doesnt have to serve... u will need that for the thai side of the marriage stuff for here....
good to know the cousins (they arent real cousins for the most part i hope u realize that. they are friends of the heart/pi/nong jai ) but still helps to know them... half the people that will be introduce dto u as relatives arent blood relatives btw...
and whatever u do, keep a separate bank account for you alone and one for u and him (he cant have his own here in israel but u can join him to your's; then open a separate one for u... dont argue. just do it. take it from a practical divorced lady. ) but u will need that bank account for visa stuff (the joint one).
the rest i messaged u...
bina
Yep, i know and am very awer of the "Family Relations" that go one in the Thai cultuer. i did work with and meet 2 cousins who are blood related, and the rest were like you said pee/nong jai... it's nice to have a big family. at times.
Separate bank account? ALWAYS! never thought other wise. I also told my friend (religious) to have a separate bank account before she got married. took a while for me to explane to her why, and the face that it wouldn't hurt theyr marrige and it's always important to have some money on the side for yourself. he probably will have one of his own as well.
Noy did the army. as well as i did...funny...hhmmmm i wonder if our kids will do the army as well...
separate bank accounts.........figures................please correct me if I'm worng ,but I've live in thailand for 25 years and have a fair understanding of the messogenistic behavior of the thai male.It leads me to to the logical  conclusion that only unattractive and overweight women from the west subject themselves to the thai mail in a desperate attempt to be acccepted.Which they are untill their$$ runs out...........same as us (western males)
Posted 2008-09-03 09:46:55
You are wrong. Suggest you take your ill conceived prejudices elsewhere, thanks
Posted 2008-09-03 10:27:44
unforgiven, on 2008-09-03 09:43:26, said: separate bank accounts.........figures................please correct me if I'm worng ,but I've live in thailand for 25 years and have a fair understanding of the messogenistic behavior of the thai male.It leads me to to the logical conclusion that only unattractive and overweight women from the west subject themselves to the thai mail in a desperate attempt to be acccepted.Which they are untill their$$ runs out...........same as us (western males) 
Thanks unforgiven, I was having a crappy morning until this little gem of a post popped up.
Bad experience? Why don't you tell us about it eh?
Posted 2008-09-03 11:56:25
Quote separate bank accounts.........figures................please correct me if I'm worng ,but I've live in thailand for 25 years and have a fair understanding of the messogenistic behavior of the thai male )))
unforgiven: the male in question that absconded with my bank acouunt was my ex israeli husband, and any normal american woman nowadays has a separate bank account, and as for figure: does 43 kilo count as over wieght???????? ill take my slightly rotund, missing a tooth, dark skinned but wonderful poor thai husband any day over a western 'mail' (sic) like u..... yech!!!!!!!!!
bina
israel
Posted 2008-09-03 11:57:03
Quote please correct me if I'm worng ,but I've live in thailand for 25 years and have a fair understanding of the messogenistic behavior of the thai male.It leads me to to the logical dry.gif conclusion that only unattractive and overweight women from the west subject themselves to the thai mail in a desperate attempt to be acccepted.Which they are untill their$$ runs out...........same as us (western males)
quite the opposite! most western females i know with thai partners are in their early 20's and gorgeous. and though a few of them do support their boyfriends, it's not on the same scale as it is with the farang men/thai women. thai men are not comfortable being supported by a western woman in general, precisely because they are misogynistic.
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