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Nice Thai Family Values


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#1 xyborg

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Posted 2008-01-01 05:22:55

Have been negotiating price on a piece of land in Hua Hin (2-3 rai), all agreed and woman owner who's husband died recently has had the chanote put in her name so she can transfer it to us etc.
Wife went down to meet her again recenlty and all was well until the woman said her son who basically squats on some of the land (woman owns about 15 rai) has told his Mother he will seriously attack her with a machete if she sells any of it. I just find this bizzarre as he is not the owner and presumably lives on his piece of his Mothers land for free in what amounts to a shack etc etc The piece he lives on is well away from the bit we wanted to buy.
I think w e shall look elsewhere but I find it very sad if this is how some Thais treat their parents especially a s they are presumably taught to have respect for elders etc etc
I am also interested why the woman owner has to speak with her remaining family about the sale and that they have to agree????? Anyone explain?

#2 sutnyod

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Posted 2008-01-01 07:46:01

I think w e shall look elsewhere but I find it very sad if this is how some Thais treat their parents especially a s they are presumably taught to have respect for elders etc etc


Yes, some people really give the term "spoiled rotten" a new meaning. Unfortunately, being spoilt as a kid often (well, sometimes) comes along with such behavior. "If you don't get me a motorbike I will kill myself (happens often with girls)/burn your house/attack you (boys)." In all the cases I have heard of such threats they were carried out. Had to visit relatives in the IC unit. It was full of attempted suicides by youngsters, either on love matters or on material things.
Sometimes children are brought up well, but end up crooked; can happen, too.
What is further alarming is that there is no pressure of the society on such selfish people. Murder is one end of the scale; it usually start somewhere along the lines of "being the eternal baby". An acquaintance always bailed her son out of jail. Every single time. The son was in his LATE THIRTIES!!!! He started with theft of mother's belongings, then those of friends, then came burglaries. His mother came fleeing to me because he had chased her with a machete when she refused to tell him where she hid here savings (with me). I have talked to her several times: he is the one doing all this, he is of age and he must be held responsible. She gave it some half-hearted tries, but then soon the pattern started again. For this family I think it was too late (and so it is in the case of your prospective land owner). My acquaintance did not teach her son any values when he was a child. Now she has to bear the consequences.
BTW, I have the same situation with friends in Europe, so it is nothing unique to Asia. However, there, once a child and the parents don't agree, the child tends not to stay after his 18th birthday. To live off the parents is still socially acceptable here... Have you seen the ads of this Thai insurance company? 'You shall not rely on your mother for ever' They picked a very sore spot!

#3 PadThaiGuy

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Posted 2008-01-01 09:30:27

The punk should be thrown in jail for the threats.

#4 Dakhar

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Posted 2008-01-01 09:52:34

It is easy to see the son's mindset. He figures his life as a hamock dweller is secure as long as he gets the land one day. Other wise he is screwed.

Now, to be honest, a lot parties are proabably to blame here. The parents probably never bothered to educate the child, the culture never bothered to teach the parents about the importance of education.... The child is nothing more than a product of the culture.

I am in no way saying what he is doing is right...

There is land near me that I would love to have but some young punks that live to race mopeds own it through their parents.... and they will never part with it.

So it is what it is. Maybe they will fall victim of darwinism. They take the lights off of their mopeds in order to reduce weight!

#5 Scott

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Posted 2008-01-01 11:45:49

This is pretty much a universal trait, unfortunately. I think it's called greed!

#6 onnut

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Posted 2008-01-01 11:59:50

This is pretty much a universal trait, unfortunately. I think it's called greed!



true, there is a lot of this around the whole world.

I will be having my first child in a couple of months. I hope he dont turn out like this.

#7 teacup

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Posted 2008-01-01 13:09:12

Don’t be so rush into some judgment
Whatever it is, I suspect that he’s either protecting his own interest or the family interest. Sometimes it could be just for the sentiment value of it, but often times they are purely just for financial interest. Who knows?- only him, his mother, and the whole tribe really know about this.
It could be one or more reasons, for example

The mother could be or will be in some sort of debt or gambling debt. In this case the son probably doesn’t want to see the land being swindling away for no good cause
Or maybe
It’s the land where the family house used to be while growing up – deep sentimental value here.
Or
It was promised by his father or mother sometime ago that it will be his eventually
Or
This is the exact spot where his beloved father passed away – so the deep attachment is still there
Or
It could be fear of abandonment by his mother after the sale of the land
Or
It could be his mother have changed her mind on sharing the proceed
Etc…

I don’t very know for sure the exact cause/reason for his rebellious behavior. In Thailand it’s normally a whole family decision to sell or not to sell, especially if the land has been in the family for many generations – no matter whose name on its chanote.

Edited by teacup, 2008-01-01 13:35:18.


#8 xyborg

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Posted 2008-01-01 15:07:23

<br />Don't be so rush into some judgment <br />Whatever it is, I suspect that he's either protecting his own interest or the family interest. Sometimes it could be just for the sentiment value of it, but often times they are purely just for financial interest. Who knows?- only him, his mother, and the whole tribe really know about this.<br />It could be one or more reasons, for example<br /><br />The mother could be or will be in some sort of debt or gambling debt. In this case the son probably doesn't want to see the land being swindling away for no good cause <br />Or maybe<br />It's the land where the family house used to be while growing up – deep sentimental value here.<br />Or <br />It was promised by his father or mother sometime ago that it will be his eventually<br />Or <br />This is the exact spot where his beloved father passed away – so the deep attachment is still there<br />Or<br />It could be fear of abandonment by his mother after the sale of the land<br />Or <br />It could be his mother have changed her mind on sharing the proceed<br />Etc…<br /><br />I don't very know for sure the exact cause/reason for his rebellious behavior. In Thailand it's normally a whole family decision to sell or not to sell, especially if the land has been in the family for many generations – no matter whose name on its chanote.<br />

<br /><br /><br />

My wife having spoken with the Mother has told me the following. She wants to sell and all the family agree except him, yes they have some debt but only 50,000 baht and w e will pay them 300000 per rai, we offered to pay off their debt as a deposit, we have seen the chanote so there is no problem about this, yes maybe the land was promised to him but he is not the only sibling there are at least 5 of them, can't tell you if his Father died on the spot we want to buy, as for fear of abandonment he is about 34 years old how much older should he be?
I think at the end of the day any son who threatens his Mother like this is no good, you know he could be angry and n ot speak to her again but to threaten to KILL her????? By all accounts from othe residents he is "no good". I would think it would be highly likely he would want to break into our house when it was finsihed too
Mum also owns a good sized house with shop on a main road. Seems to me son is just looking after himself and stuff everyone else.
I'm sorry for the rest of the family beacsue w e will now look elsewhere no problem for us.
I think some of the other posts are more accurate in describing a large portion of Thai society and upbringing, w e have a customer in one of our condos his Father spoils him rotten he works like a dog in a good job (100000 baht per month) the son goes to college, never gets up until after 11, wants and gets the latest mobile phone, now he wants a new car, his Dad moans to me but does nothing to stop this kid. My wife even said to him once " why don't you help your Father" ie save money. He is totally spoilt, it's in the culture I fear to a large degreee and what one of the posters says about having no repercussions seems true .

Its 2 Rai out of about 15 that w e are discussing not the entire plot.
Mai bpen rai w e shall fine another plot and away from trouble like this guy seems. Any kids I have in Thailand will be in for a shock with me and the wife at the helm hahhaahahah
Never will understand how they "accept" this type of behaviour as a society. Can only assume its a small minority but have heard of other cases inclduing my wifes own house who a Brother lives in but pays no rent and he wont buy it, very convenient for him, wife just gets angry but does fear for her well being so we just abandoned the whole idea and w e have nothing to do with them which is her wish.

#9 meemiathai

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Posted 2008-01-01 15:27:22

Life prior to caning
Michael Fay was born on May 30, 1975, in St. Louis, Missouri. His mother Randy divorced his father George when he was eight. In his childhood, Michael was diagnosed with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, a fact that his lawyer would later claim made Fay not responsible for his actions.

Although Fay mostly lived with his father after the divorce, he later moved to Singapore, where his mother and stepfather Marco Chan lived. Michael was enrolled in the Singapore American School.


Theft and vandalism
Singapore's The Straits Times newspaper in 1993 was full of stories about car vandalism in Singapore. Unknown individuals, although they were thought to be residents of the HDB flats in which 85% of the local population had been living, went after their neighbours' cars with hot tar, paint remover, and hatchets. Taxi drivers complained that their tires were slashed when they let people off. In the city center and the condos, where the better-off 15% of the local population and foreigners live, people keyed cars, making deep scratches, and threw car doors open denting the cars next to them. One man interviewed by the Times complained that he had had to refinish his car six times in six months. In the fall of 1993 a vandal took red spray paint to six cars in a garage off Orchard Lane, making the vandalism highly visible. The next night someone sprayed a line of red paint right through the official seal of a judge's car, left out on the street by his son who had forgotten his key.

The police eventually arrested a 16-year-old suspect, Shiu Chi Ho, from Hong Kong. He was not caught vandalizing cars, but was charged with driving his father's car without a license. After questioning Shiu, the police had several expatriate students from the Singapore American School, including Michael Fay, questioned and later charged with more than fifty counts of vandalism. Fay pled guilty to vandalizing the cars in addition to stealing road signs. Under the 1966 Singapore Vandalism Act, which was originally passed to curb the spread of communist graffiti in Singapore, he was sentenced on March 3, 1994 to four months in jail, a fine of 3,500 Singapore dollars (US$2,214 or £1,514 at the time), and six strokes of the cane. Shiu, who pleaded "not guilty," was eventually sentenced to eight months in prison and twelve strokes of the cane.

Fay's lawyers appealed, arguing that the Vandalism Act provides caning only for indelible forms of graffiti vandalism and that the spray-painted cars were cheaply restored to their original condition. Although the appeal failed, then Singapore President Ong Teng Cheong commuted Fay's caning from six to four strokes as a gesture of respect toward then U.S President Bill Clinton. Fay was caned on May 5, 1994.


Response from the United States
The official position of the United States government was that while it recognized Singapore's right to try and punish Fay with due process of law, it deemed the punishment of caning to be excessive for a teenager committing a non-violent crime. The United States embassy in Singapore pointed out that the graffiti damage that Fay made on the cars was not permanent, but caning would leave Fay with physical as well as long-term emotional scars.

U.S. President Bill Clinton called the punishment prescribed by Singapore as extreme and mistaken, continuing to pressure the Singaporean government to grant Fay clemency from caning. Two dozen U.S. senators signed a letter to the Singaporean government also appealing for clemency. After Fay's punishment was carried out, the United States Trade Representative said that he would try to prevent the World Trade Organization's first ministerial meeting from taking place in Singapore.

Following Fay's sentence, the case received wide coverage by the U.S. media and dozens of reporters were sent to Singapore to cover the case.[1] The New York Times had several editorials and op-eds that condemned the punishment and called the American public to flood the Singaporean embassy in the United States with protests. Newsday wrote about a person who claimed to have witnessed a graphic public caning event in Singapore, despite the fact that Singapore does not practise public canings. Some commentaries treated the Michael Fay affair as a clash of civilizations between Asian values and the differing view of human rights common in liberal western cultures.

Public opposition of the caning within the United States was uncertain as opinion polls produced by different news organizations contradicted each other. Nevertheless, a significant number of vocal Americans were in favor of the caning, reasoning that Singapore had a right to use corporal punishment if it chooses, or that their own country did not mete out severe enough punishment to criminals. The Embassy of Singapore received numerous calls strongly supporting Fay's punishment.

The media coverage of the case continued for several months.[citation needed]


The Singaporean response
The Singaporean government did not appreciate the U.S. government interfering with the way Singapore carried out punishments within the due process of law.

The Singapore government felt that if the United States viewed caning of juveniles as a human rights issue, then it should actively try to stop the caning of other juvenile offenders in Singapore other than Michael Fay. The Singaporean public also felt that compared to the seemingly lax penal system in the United States, their harsh penal system made their country very safe.

It was additionally argued that Singapore, as a sovereign state, was not obliged in any way to base its actions on the will of the American public or government. As for the U.S. Trade Representative saying that he would stop the World Trade Organization’s meeting from taking place in Singapore, some questioned the relation between judiciary proceedings and trade. The American public and media criticized Singapore intensely during that period.

The Singaporean press also saturated its coverage about Michael Fay. Initial news about the arrest of the expatriate vandals made front page, to the extent that other more serious crimes received much less coverage on Singaporean newspapers.

Aftermath
Fay returned to the United States to live with his father. He did several television interviews and there was even talk of a book or movie deal which did not materialize. In 1994, Fay suffered burns to his hands and face after a butane incident.[2][3][4] He was subsequently admitted to the Hazelden rehabilitation program for butane abuse.[2] He claimed that sniffing butane "made him forget what happened in Singapore."[5] In 1996, he was cited in Florida for a number of violations, including careless driving, reckless driving, not reporting a crash and having an open bottle of alcohol in a car.[6] Later, in 1998, still in Florida, Fay was arrested for possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia, charges to which he confessed but was not found guilty[7] because of technical errors in his arrest.[8]

"Weird Al" Yankovic described Fay's caning in the lyrics of "Headline News", a 1994 song parodying "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm" by the Crash Test Dummies. Bob Rivers did a satirical take of it in "Cane 'Em Good", another 1994 song parodying Devo's Whip It. Fay's caning was also mentioned in the Notorious MSG song "No Good Muthabitch" in 2007.

In 1994, the Professional Wrestling Promotion Extreme Championship Wrestling had a "Singapore Caning Match" involving The Sandman and Tommy Dreamer. Dreamer lost and got caned by Sandman after the match. Since then, the Singapore Cane has been one of the most popular professional wrestling weapons.

He is totally spoilt, it's in the American culture I fear to a large degreee and what one of the posters says about having no repercussions seems true .

#10 DamianMavis

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Posted 2008-01-01 15:49:13

Don't be so rush into some judgment
Whatever it is, I suspect that he's either protecting his own interest or the family interest. Sometimes it could be just for the sentiment value of it, but often times they are purely just for financial interest. Who knows?- only him, his mother, and the whole tribe really know about this.
It could be one or more reasons, for example

The mother could be or will be in some sort of debt or gambling debt. In this case the son probably doesn't want to see the land being swindling away for no good cause
Or maybe
It's the land where the family house used to be while growing up – deep sentimental value here.
Or
It was promised by his father or mother sometime ago that it will be his eventually
Or
This is the exact spot where his beloved father passed away – so the deep attachment is still there
Or
It could be fear of abandonment by his mother after the sale of the land
Or
It could be his mother have changed her mind on sharing the proceed
Etc…

I don't very know for sure the exact cause/reason for his rebellious behavior. In Thailand it's normally a whole family decision to sell or not to sell, especially if the land has been in the family for many generations – no matter whose name on its chanote.


Wow you really do see the world through different eyes! You could just explain away anyones bad behaviour! He THREATENED TO KILL HIS MOTHER. I have no doubt that if he DID kill his mother you would explain away that too and try to find sympathy for the murderer and never the victim, because... we wouldnt want to be too judgemental!!! haha

Damian

#11 meemiathai

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Posted 2008-01-01 15:59:13

Don't be so rush into some judgment
Whatever it is, I suspect that he's either protecting his own interest or the family interest. Sometimes it could be just for the sentiment value of it, but often times they are purely just for financial interest. Who knows?- only him, his mother, and the whole tribe really know about this.
It could be one or more reasons, for example

The mother could be or will be in some sort of debt or gambling debt. In this case the son probably doesn't want to see the land being swindling away for no good cause
Or maybe
It's the land where the family house used to be while growing up – deep sentimental value here.
Or
It was promised by his father or mother sometime ago that it will be his eventually
Or
This is the exact spot where his beloved father passed away – so the deep attachment is still there
Or
It could be fear of abandonment by his mother after the sale of the land
Or
It could be his mother have changed her mind on sharing the proceed
Etc…

I don't very know for sure the exact cause/reason for his rebellious behavior. In Thailand it's normally a whole family decision to sell or not to sell, especially if the land has been in the family for many generations – no matter whose name on its chanote.


Wow you really do see the world through different eyes! You could just explain away anyones bad behaviour! He THREATENED TO KILL HIS MOTHER. I have no doubt that if he DID kill his mother you would explain away that too and try to find sympathy for the murderer and never the victim, because... we wouldnt want to be too judgemental!!! haha

Damian

It is clear to me that you did not understand teacup's well written post.

#12 kloghead

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Posted 2008-01-01 16:09:29

Hey meemiathai

where the hel_l do get off by bringing Michael Fay into this discussion??? Care to answer that??? I think not!!!

Just another example of "Thais Love Thais" avoiding the issue.

This punk is typical of Thai greed and self-centeredness. ME First and the hel_l with anyone else, even my parents. SHAMEFUL but thats where the Thais are at these days.

#13 Heng

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Posted 2008-01-01 17:30:25

Lots of repressed feelings on the board these days.

Ridiculous behavior on the part of one particular Thai assumed to be the norm for all Thais aside, in a lot of other places in the world, inheritance is a non-issue because in a good number of families, there is nothing left to be passed down through the generations besides trinkets such as watches, broaches, and rings. In a lot of other places in the world, grandchildren only know their grandparents as "the old people we visit" at the old folks home. Hardly models of 'family values' either.

It's a given that this doesn't mean though that an entire nation or culture behaves this way, or that it's a black/white right or wrong.

:o

#14 Dakhar

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Posted 2008-01-01 17:45:54

Lots of repressed feelings on the board these days.

Ridiculous behavior on the part of one particular Thai assumed to be the norm for all Thais aside, in a lot of other places in the world, inheritance is a non-issue because in a good number of families, there is nothing left to be passed down through the generations besides trinkets such as watches, broaches, and rings. In a lot of other places in the world, grandchildren only know their grandparents as "the old people we visit" at the old folks home. Hardly models of 'family values' either.

It's a given that this doesn't mean though that an entire nation or culture behaves this way, or that it's a black/white right or wrong.

:o


Heng I do not contend that children of Thailand believe that taking a machete to their parents is the proper way of securing their inheritance. But I do contend that Thais, and and in a lot of other cultures recieving and inheritance is assumed. My parents are actually worht millions (my mother specifically). But I told her long ago, that I accepted the fact that people have to work in life, and that is just the way things are.

My parents are doing their darndest to spend every peney they have before they die. Oh well, such is life.

#15 slapout

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Posted 2008-01-01 18:35:45

I do not think this type of thinking, is unique to any one country or area of the world. Wanting something that is not yours or something that is banned, seems to be a part of civilization since ancient times. People seem to have a unique ability to get what they want in their own way. We are finally able to recongize many physical defects prior to birth and science is working hard to recongize genetic defects in the same way, but we have not found a way to determine parenthood or social impact until after the fact and that seems to be open to much debate. We tend to blame the TV, movies, diet, schools,siblings, polution or anything else that gives people involved an excuse not to take responsibilty for the actions of a few parts of this huge puzzle of human behavior. Its part of life and its never going to change.

#16 Heng

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Posted 2008-01-01 20:19:19

Lots of repressed feelings on the board these days.

Ridiculous behavior on the part of one particular Thai assumed to be the norm for all Thais aside, in a lot of other places in the world, inheritance is a non-issue because in a good number of families, there is nothing left to be passed down through the generations besides trinkets such as watches, broaches, and rings. In a lot of other places in the world, grandchildren only know their grandparents as "the old people we visit" at the old folks home. Hardly models of 'family values' either.

It's a given that this doesn't mean though that an entire nation or culture behaves this way, or that it's a black/white right or wrong.

:o


Heng I do not contend that children of Thailand believe that taking a machete to their parents is the proper way of securing their inheritance. But I do contend that Thais, and and in a lot of other cultures recieving and inheritance is assumed. My parents are actually worht millions (my mother specifically). But I told her long ago, that I accepted the fact that people have to work in life, and that is just the way things are.

My parents are doing their darndest to spend every peney they have before they die. Oh well, such is life.


evening Dakhar, I think the assumption is there because legacy and having a cohesive family unit is more of a norm here than in my other parts of the world. In other places though, sometimes it's more common to smallish numbers of nationality specific (say, Jewish, Russian, Italian, Irish, for example; not limited to them only of course) family owned businesses, xth generation Ivy Leaguer clans, that kind of thing, than to mainstream society in general (as it is here and in many parts of Asia). It's by no means an alien concept, but IMO what a lot of people do have an issue with is moving in with/joining a family who is closer to the sh*t end of the stick and what family cohesion entails when such is the case.

Working and inheritance go hand in hand more often than they don't. For every Panthongtae Shinawatra and Paris Hilton there are millions who take modest/meager inheritances and manage and build upon them. IMO it's generally those who aren't members of either group who tend to have sour grapes and misconceptions about inheritances/trust funds/etc. in general. (not saying that you have any of those issues of course)

:D

#17 Dakhar

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Posted 2008-01-01 21:20:37

Lots of repressed feelings on the board these days.

Ridiculous behavior on the part of one particular Thai assumed to be the norm for all Thais aside, in a lot of other places in the world, inheritance is a non-issue because in a good number of families, there is nothing left to be passed down through the generations besides trinkets such as watches, broaches, and rings. In a lot of other places in the world, grandchildren only know their grandparents as "the old people we visit" at the old folks home. Hardly models of 'family values' either.

It's a given that this doesn't mean though that an entire nation or culture behaves this way, or that it's a black/white right or wrong.

:o


Heng I do not contend that children of Thailand believe that taking a machete to their parents is the proper way of securing their inheritance. But I do contend that Thais, and and in a lot of other cultures recieving and inheritance is assumed. My parents are actually worht millions (my mother specifically). But I told her long ago, that I accepted the fact that people have to work in life, and that is just the way things are.

My parents are doing their darndest to spend every peney they have before they die. Oh well, such is life.


evening Dakhar, I think the assumption is there because legacy and having a cohesive family unit is more of a norm here than in my other parts of the world. In other places though, sometimes it's more common to smallish numbers of nationality specific (say, Jewish, Russian, Italian, Irish, for example; not limited to them only of course) family owned businesses, xth generation Ivy Leaguer clans, that kind of thing, than to mainstream society in general (as it is here and in many parts of Asia). It's by no means an alien concept, but IMO what a lot of people do have an issue with is moving in with/joining a family who is closer to the sh*t end of the stick and what family cohesion entails when such is the case.

Working and inheritance go hand in hand more often than they don't. For every Panthongtae Shinawatra and Paris Hilton there are millions who take modest/meager inheritances and manage and build upon them. IMO it's generally those who aren't members of either group who tend to have sour grapes and misconceptions about inheritances/trust funds/etc. in general. (not saying that you have any of those issues of course)

:D



For me Heng,

I take the Asian view on inheritance dispite my parent's view. I take comfort in my net worth, combined with my life insurance and know that my son will be OK if I pass. In fact my passing should be celebrated as a lottery ticket for him. I work with the hopes that what I achieve will allow him to achieve even more.

You are right about a lot of cultures expect a watch or a shoe collection or maybe a welcome mat for an inherittance. But with the way taxes are set up, hard to blame them.

Ironically, my wife's mother (Thai) will probably pass down more money or assets to my wife than my parents will pass down to me. Again I do not worry about things such as fairness etc. It is just the lot that was given to me.... oh well. But on the other hand, I am not a hammock dweller, and I made some money early in life to set me at ease in Thailand. If not, at least I have enough to buy a business that I know and understand how to run in the states. I do not ever want to do that type of work again, but I could if I had to.

BTW Heng,

Do you know any one in the "Over Mold" business? I need someone that can over mold cable for head phones. I have located a company called Abotron in Thailand, but they have been closed for the hollidays so I have not been abble to ingquire about the specific things they can offer us.

Like I told you before, injection molding is probably taken care of, but over molding is a bit more complicated.

Thanks for your help.

Oh and By the By, if you wanted to look into another type of 3d printer, I found one in the 10,000 USD range. Desk top, 100 lbs, V Flash 230 HA mfg's by a "3d." I may just by that right out, because it is designed for specific applications that we can use on a daily bassis.

And happy New Year

Dakhar

#18 Heng

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Posted 2008-01-01 21:40:41

Will PM you regarding plastics related issues.

:o

#19 sbk

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Posted 2008-01-01 22:03:20

Lots of repressed feelings on the board these days.

Ridiculous behavior on the part of one particular Thai assumed to be the norm for all Thais aside, in a lot of other places in the world, inheritance is a non-issue because in a good number of families, there is nothing left to be passed down through the generations besides trinkets such as watches, broaches, and rings. In a lot of other places in the world, grandchildren only know their grandparents as "the old people we visit" at the old folks home. Hardly models of 'family values' either.

It's a given that this doesn't mean though that an entire nation or culture behaves this way, or that it's a black/white right or wrong.

:o


Heng I do not contend that children of Thailand believe that taking a machete to their parents is the proper way of securing their inheritance. But I do contend that Thais, and and in a lot of other cultures recieving and inheritance is assumed. My parents are actually worht millions (my mother specifically). But I told her long ago, that I accepted the fact that people have to work in life, and that is just the way things are.

My parents are doing their darndest to spend every peney they have before they die. Oh well, such is life.



google the Mendez Brothers before making such assumptions. I agree with Heng here, far too many people extrapolate an entire nation's moral standing or code of behavior based on their own limited experience.

Astoundingly to some, perhaps, I know quite a few Thai people destined to inherit substantial land/money from their parents and most of these children work. Their parents are wealthy because they had a strong work ethic and they taught that value to their children.

So, do I then decide that all Thai people must be this way? Nope, I am well aware of people with lazy kids who expect something for nothing.
I, instead, come to the conclusion that everyone is different and some things are just about being a human being and not about being Thai or English or American or anything else.

#20 Dakhar

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Posted 2008-01-01 22:18:17

And for those that have not heard the news....

Paris Hilton"s Grand Father recently deccided to give 97% of his assest/money etc away to charity.

Poof.... Paris may just have to get a job...

Nah, I doubt it.

Edited by Dakhar, 2008-01-01 22:18:46.


#21 Dakhar

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Posted 2008-01-01 22:30:31

There was a story I heard once while living in Taiwan, and in a way it sums up the Asian culture towards inheritance.



Here goes the story.

A son was takeing care of his old handicaped father. He gave his dad a bowl of old rice, that no one in the house would eat, much like feeding the dog. The father tried the rice, & said he did not like the rice and refused to eat. The son became angry at his father and threw the bowl of rice at his dad, pelting him with food.

The end result, the bowl broke.

The grandson got up and collected the pieces of the bowl and began to try to fix the bowl with glue etc.

The boy's father asked him why he was trying to repair his grand father's bowl?

The boy replied, "I'm not repairing grand father's bowl.... I am repairing your bowl."

#22 yorkman

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Posted 2008-01-01 22:32:40

I, instead, come to the conclusion that everyone is different and some things are just about being a human being and not about being Thai or English or American or anything else.


Exactly :o , but then you get this sort of thing More Thai characterisation coming up daily, just a very recent example and not aimed at any particular individual.

This is a disturbed individual who threatens his mother with death. No more and no less. Disturbed individuals occur around the world; I am not surprised, but I can hardly see it as a reflection on Thai society or the whole nation as some might suggest.

#23 Flow

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Posted 2008-01-01 22:54:41

Have been negotiating price on a piece of land in Hua Hin (2-3 rai), all agreed and woman owner who's husband died recently has had the chanote put in her name so she can transfer it to us etc.
Wife went down to meet her again recenlty and all was well until the woman said her son who basically squats on some of the land (woman owns about 15 rai) has told his Mother he will seriously attack her with a machete if she sells any of it. I just find this bizzarre as he is not the owner and presumably lives on his piece of his Mothers land for free in what amounts to a shack etc etc The piece he lives on is well away from the bit we wanted to buy.
I think w e shall look elsewhere but I find it very sad if this is how some Thais treat their parents especially a s they are presumably taught to have respect for elders etc etc
I am also interested why the woman owner has to speak with her remaining family about the sale and that they have to agree????? Anyone explain?


My advice is: do not buy the land no matter what. Imagine this, on a sunny day you walking around the land and this crazed out Thai running towards you with a machette, what ya gonna do then?
Yes, look elsewhere.

#24 morphic

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Posted 2008-01-01 23:09:46

I, instead, come to the conclusion that everyone is different and some things are just about being a human being and not about being Thai or English or American or anything else.


Exactly :o , but then you get this sort of thing More Thai characterisation coming up daily, just a very recent example and not aimed at any particular individual.

This is a disturbed individual who threatens his mother with death. No more and no less. Disturbed individuals occur around the world; I am not surprised, but I can hardly see it as a reflection on Thai society or the whole nation as some might suggest.

I am sure this guy isn't a teenager. Also, he isn't a spoiled Paris Hilton type, nor a Menendez type psycho, or any of the other types that this thread is plastered with. Forget all of your labels. None apply.

What I have read in fact reminds me of several facts of Thai life. First, extreme violence happens quite frequently, both against Thais and non-Thais. This violent reaction appears to me to be part of Thai culture. I remember a stupid drunk German who annoyed the Thai owner of a restaurant that the German was eating in. The Thai guy went after him with a machete and I am not exaggeratinbg, he started to hack away at the guys neck! He was stopped and the German was bleeding heavily but I believe the Thai would have decapitated him if allowed. This was real Anthony Perkins Psycho material but in this country (and increasingly elsewhere) it seems quite common. And did the police arrest the Thai? NO!

So there is something about this place (and I admit increasingly elsewhere) that seems to tolerate extreme violence, however disproportionate it is. And even in the Farang community victims are often blamed for provoking an attack on them, as if however mild the supposed offence and however extreme the response, the victim is always to blame.

Maybe this is basic cowardice. In other words, weak people always seems to side with the "strong", the "aggressor". Few are willing to stand up for what is right.

And so spineless and fearful society can encourage people to be violent...why not if they get away with it?

Annd finally, this issue with the land and the "squatter" also remind me that in Thailand a "chanoot" means nothing. NOTHING!

#25 yorkman

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Posted 2008-01-01 23:32:36

Bar talk...thanks for the input :o





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