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[toptuan]

Jingthing, on 2008-01-16 18:37:22, said:

toptuan, on 2008-01-16 17:56:36, said:

Jingthing, on 2008-01-16 17:45:47, said:

homosexuality is a psychological sickness, an illness, something than can be prevented...

You said that. I didn't. Review the post.

I categorically deny your statements, above, and strongly resist your extrapolation of my observations to your erroneous conclusions.

I may share some of the same initial observations by "that group" which you describe, but my observations lead to very different conclusions, the opposite with which you are trying to pin me to the wall. Stop it, dude.

Excuse me, but if your child appeared to be turning out hetero, would you be suggesting causes for that, and suggesting tactics to correct it? My case closed.

The problem isn't with the child "becoming gay" or "becoming hetero."

The OP is a father expressing the problem of how to deal with a relational challenge, wanting to steer the child to his destiny in a supportive, loving way. I support his desire to accomplish that, and hence my advice. At the same time, he has expressed worry ("concerned parent") about effeminate tendencies in his boy's mannerisms. I think the posters have done a good job here helping to allay that fear, and support their advice as well.

Edited by toptuan, 2008-01-16 18:59:18.

[ProThaiExpat]

While I agree with Jingthing that one of the many theories of homosexuality being the "absent father" syndrome doesn't hold water, Toptuan's advice is a good one for OP and that advice mirrors mine contained in a early post. If OP spends a lot of time with his son and natures him, he will be following Toptuan's advice, and many other posters for that matter and Jingthing and others may be right that the "absent father" syndrome is bunk, but in either case, OP's son will not be harmed by his fatheri's attentions, in fact helped a great deal. He will turn out the way he will turn out, and OP seems sensitive to the dangers of control and forced behaviour.

[jaideeguy]

Wow, thanks for all your support...especially BambinA. I now have a better understanding of why and how and who.
And at first, I was shocked to find that someone as suwai as you Bam WERE a boy in the past.....I've been fooled again! Your posts on the vets and animals forum have always been spot-on and I've always had respect for you, now I have even more respect for your inteligence, honesty and compassion and for opening my eyes and heart.
I will take the attitude that most offer and just let things be, not to try to change anyone and to accept and be loving and supportive.
thanks to everyone for your support in this sinsitive issue.

[jaideeguy]

Thanks for all your kind and well meaning support. I should have realized that this would be a controversial issue and pit the macho vs the gay attitudes. I will go with the moderate route and hope that it is just a passing phase and he will grow into a normal [whatever that is?] healthy, self confident human. What ever path he chooses to take, I’ll, of course still love him and accept his choices when he is mature enough to make them on his own.
I may have been an ‘over protective parent’ and interpreted his being a mama’s boy and feminine gestures as a ‘sign’ of going gay. In all fairness, he does play with toy cars, monsters, and has a bunch of boys in the neighborhood to ride bikes with, while his sister plays with dolls and acts like a sweet little girl.
And I think it is a Thai cultural thing for boys to appear feminine.
It was suggested that the worse thing i can do at this point is to force him into becoming a more macho boy, and i agree that if he is gay, then it would only force him into hiding...don't want that.
I also think that the jury is still out when it comes to homosexuality being genetic or parental, but do believe that we all have a mixture of both feminine and masculine hormones and can go either way. So there may be some choices.
My main concern is that I want him to be secure in his choice of sexuality and not confused about his sexuality.
With the mods permission, I will post this on the ‘other’ forum so that it will show my thanks for all the input from both sides which is why I double posted in the first place. I wanted to hear opinions from both perspectives, and I did.

[PeaceBlondie]

Thanks, jaideeguy, for giving us a shot at giving our opinions in the gay forum. Now, since we know the other conversation is in the Family and Children forum, let's close this topic. Thanks to all who participated.