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[torrenova]

I first quit 20 years ago when I was in a night club and the girl I was chatting up didn't smoke. The cigarettes clearly visible in my pocket became my friend's and I stayed off for the 9 months or so I dated her. Thus, though I started after we finished, I felt I could turn it on and off as I had done.

What I didn't realise was that I had merely changed my lifestyle. The killer was having a beer and thus, I'd avoided that many times or just had a quick one or two. Going out for a night on the booze would have seen me back on the fags and over the next 20 years, I was to realise that as the fundamental route cause of my inability to get off the smokes forever.

I'm off the smokes for a while now and barring a hickup or two right at day 2 or 3 I've been ok. I hit a wall after about a week and another taller one which has broken me in the past after about 2 weeks. Some days now I don't think about it, sometimes it is right there and if I thought I could really have just one, then I would, but I know that resets the "how many days since" clock and all the good work goes out of the window.

Years ago, a guy in his 40s told me that he had been off for 7 years and then, after a heavy night on the booze, he was back on a couple of packets a day. He said that cigarettes never let you go, not even years later. I thoroughly believe him. I don't see a day when I would not like a smoke, even though I know the first one may taste like shit. The fact is that I liked smoking, the money was not an issue, there were no health issues and I didn't want to stop.

I stopped because of someone else, my daughter. If I didn't have her then I probably would not bother but a partner could perhaps persuade me differently.

I know that I am only one cigarette away from being back on X a day. I know that I can't go boozing because that is not something I can do without a cigarette. So there has been a much bigger change with no booze as a means of keeping off the cigarettes. I do long for a smoke, food tastes crap, not better and I know that it will be like that forever. Maybe when my kid grows up and leaves home I can get backon the fags  

[icequeen]

Ha Ha, you sound a  bit like me. I have stopped and started more times than I can remember. Was back on them for about 18 months and now on day 3 of quitting (again). Worst thing is my favourite drink whisky and coke tastes like crap, most of my friends smoke so if I get desperate I can always get hold of one.
Sometimes when I am quitting I get that depressed I am almost suicidal, I don't want to live if I can't have a smoke, but the ironic thing is I hate smoking, I hate the smell of it, and it just makes your life inconvenient - stopping what you are doing so you can have a smoke. The thing is I know in a few weeks I will be feeling so good, I just can't keep hold of that feeling for when the cravings kick in.!

[sanook2me]

The feelings when i first quit i cannot really find words to describe other than it was like being hit by an express train... it was mental torture....

However, reading lots of advice on the internet and using quomen tablet i learnt to let the urge come onto me and do its best instead of fighting it which ends up in a battle of yes or no to having just that one...normally the nicodemon wins..

When i invited the urges to come on and do their best and just let them overtake my body i tried to enjoy it in a weird way (its not enjoyable) but i found this was easier to deal with...

Issues - drinking beer and with mates is a hard one...i slipped up one night and had 2 cigarettes but that was it..none in the day sober and no intention so I guess this will happen time to time...just have to deal with it when it happens and be prepared not to buy any and smoke sober....  that would be silly..

Feelings - oh yes, all the smokes i've had so i can think about or deal with a problem is probably thousands or more but now i know those anxious feelings were caused by smoking and not what i had to do...  smoking makes you weak and lazy... now little jobs that would have caused me to smoke and think about them now are nothing but easy tasks.....

Its a good feeling to know this and i am stronger for this power....  saying no to smoking empowers your good feelings but i don't think you become aware of this for a few weeks or months into your quit. You probably start this thought process when the urges have gone and your mind is not tricking you to smoke anymore and smoking is just a memory...cannot remember when this changed for me mabye about 2 months or more.


Finally - I am a smoker and i even enjoy smoking and miss it too but i choose not to smoke today and any urges are not a command to smoke, the decision is mine to make and tomorrow i will choose not to smoke too.

[lioness]

I love smoking and I hate it too. Every day I say to myself this is the last one, the more I say that the more I smoke.
I dislike the smell, I worry about the health issues, and yet I still light up.

Worst for me is working in the office or sitting speaking, I seem to need a cigarete and no sooner is one out and another one is lit, unconciously I might add.

It is just a habit, but a hard one to break, On the few occassions I have stopped, I turn into a raging volcano, this usually lasts about a week. If I can get past that first week I'm ok.