Dude pay the child support and stay in America. You have a responsibility to your children. If you were single I'd say go for it. If you were divorced without children I'd say go for it. But you have children and if you love them how can you leave them in the cold.
What did Obama say about African American fathers not taking responsibility? It's true for all colors and creeds but the numbers are particularly high in certain communities.
Lead by example and others will follow.
Good luck and hope you do the right thing.
0
Trying To Rebuild Your Life In Thailandanyone with the experience of such?
Started by MikeSoi11, 2009-07-03 20:39
#52
Platinum Member Posted 2009-07-04 09:43:09
well one thing i have to consider strongly is that if i stay in the usa i will be on the hook for child and spouse support. with taht money alone i could probably survive in Thailand. Charming With that attitude Im guessing your wife left you right? you do mention she has another man already , that's got to hurt knowing she gettin it every night while you troll the sois looking for cheap hookers  Pay the kids first , jeez there are some scum here Morally, I agree with you.... Deadbeat dads are a worldwide travesty. But on a practical (realistic) side, there ARE many cases where court-ruled child/spousal support are totally unfair. Oh I agree with you 100% there however OP wants "off the hook" because he can live on that money here, now that's a big difference. Judging by that statement one can safely assume he isn't coming here to visit temples which suggests he will be supporting hookers rather than his own kids. Nothing wrong with supporting hookers of course but not at the expense of your own children and of course she will ban him from ever seeing them again and he seems okay with that. I reckon he is a balcony jumper in the making. just a matter of time before his conciseness forces him to alcoholism and then runs out of money followed by the b/girfriend leaving pronto and he becomes a stickman stastic. #53
Senior Member Posted 2009-07-04 09:49:24
When my wife left me, I avoided child support by getting "joint custody" meaning my son stayed with me about 50% of the time so I could still have a good relationship and stay in his life. Best decision I ever made, kept me grounded and responsible. After he graduated and went off to college I moved to Thailand.(skype keeps us in contact now). Now no matter what happens I know I did right by him. Keep that in mind as you make your plans.
#54
Senior Member Posted 2009-07-04 09:58:57
I am coming out of a divorce and really feel like Thailand is a place where a man can plant his feet and make a life for himself. Do you agree? Please share your experience on such. though you have to find the right spot in Thailand to rebuild. If you burn your bridges now you end up digging a tunnel back home ..... (not sure what I mean by that, it sounded like the right response .......) #55
Ecclectic member Posted 2009-07-04 10:03:34
I take your point Zorro.
As a side issue, I've never heard the term "stickman" used except for single line cartoon drawings.....I'm curious about the term now as I used to read a bit on a site called Stickman's Bangkok. ...can you explain? #56
The Site Idiot! Posted 2009-07-04 11:49:52
Nah, get your head together first before you come out here. It's a dangerous place to be when you are on the rebound. +1 Mike, be careful, very careful. I think this is a place you can relax but not rebuild your life. Frying pans and fires and wotnot. #57
Senior Member Posted 2009-07-04 13:22:30
This is an "accident" waiting to happen! Running away from your problems and responsibilities won't solve anything, they will follow you. You seem an ideal candidate for the Pattaya Flying Club.
Running away from supporting your child is heinous. I will admit that the divorce/child support laws can be pretty draconian towards men in the USA, but you have a responsibility to your child. Your complete disregard for your child makes me sick, sadly, you are reinforcing stereotypes about afro-american males in the USA. Before you get indignant about me writing about race/ethnicity, remember, you introduced the topic, slavery, reparations, etc,, so please don't go there. A little offf topic, but once again you brought it up, reperations. Your ancestors, the Egyptians, enslaved my people, the Jews, long before anybody was enslaved in the USA.. So, if you ever get a check then just sign it and pass it on to me. And "puhlease" don't go into the "International Jewish Conspiracy Theory" rhetoric. Really, how could such a small minority suppress so many people on at least two continents. #58
Advanced Member Posted 2009-07-04 13:26:17
A little offf topic, but once again you brought it up, reperations. Your ancestors, the Egyptians, enslaved my people, the Jews, long before anybody was enslaved in the USA.. So, if you ever get a check then just sign it and pass it on to me. And "puhlease" don't go into the "International Jewish Conspiracy Theory" rhetoric. Really, how could such a small minority suppress so many people on at least two continents. #59
Advanced Member Posted 2009-07-04 13:27:37
What did Obama say about African American fathers not taking responsibility? It's true for all colors and creeds but the numbers are particularly high in certain communities. #60
Advanced Member Posted 2009-07-04 15:28:48
When my wife left me, I avoided child support by getting "joint custody" meaning my son stayed with me about 50% of the time so I could still have a good relationship and stay in his life. Best decision I ever made, kept me grounded and responsible. After he graduated and went off to college I moved to Thailand.(skype keeps us in contact now). Now no matter what happens I know I did right by him. Keep that in mind as you make your plans. you are lucky. the us courts look at a black man with a record and on the other side is a white woman and its game over. i would love to have the kids living with me here in Thailand and for her to be paying for it. that's a fantasy though because the us court system is anti-man, and completely racist and unfair. #61
Platinum Posted 2009-07-04 15:39:21
When my wife left me, I avoided child support by getting "joint custody" meaning my son stayed with me about 50% of the time so I could still have a good relationship and stay in his life. Best decision I ever made, kept me grounded and responsible. After he graduated and went off to college I moved to Thailand.(skype keeps us in contact now). Now no matter what happens I know I did right by him. Keep that in mind as you make your plans. Good point. When my wife ended our marriage of 20 years I stayed in the same house to make sure our two children had at least one responsible adult looking after them. I gave up my own private life for the sake of our children. It took two years until my kids finished school and got jobs. After that I started dating other women again. CHILDREN COME FIRST!!! ALWAYS! When you CHOOSE to have children then you have to accept the responsibility of your own actions. You've chosen at least 18 years of supporting them, or until they are old enough to look after themselves. It is NOT up to the other spouse if you have been the soul source of income. It doesn't matter what type of person your spouse is. If the spouse is too bad then it's your responsibility to get soul custody of the children. Most family psychologists will say that divorced couples should remain single for at least two years before starting another serious relationship with anyone. For a single foreigner who chooses to live in Thailand there are many hoops to jump through, regulations to follow and things to accept that are not part of western cultures. 1. Don't burn any bridges at home. You might very likely have to go back. And, in your case you SHOULD go back on a regular basis to have contact with YOUR children. They DO need to know who their father is and that he still loves them despite problems with their mother. 2. To stay in Thailand you need to have enough money to last at least 2 years without earning a living by trying to work under the table. Getting an official work permit for Thailand is very difficult. That means you will need to have saved at least 750,000 baht to survive those two years of basic celebacy. There will be nothing left to party with the girls. 3. Never, never, never get seriously involved with any Thai woman until you have all other problems solved. And, don't EVER think about having more children until your others are grown up. 4. Don't buy any business in Thailand that you can't walk away from at a total loss. It happens far more often than Thai businesses that make money. #62
Thai member Posted 2009-07-04 15:57:24
I am coming out of a divorce and really feel like Thailand is a place where a man can plant his feet and make a life for himself. Do you agree? Please share your experience on such. You could say that all the answers here could be correct - it just depends on your own personality. If you go to Thailand with a positive mind forgetting the past, you will likely have the time of your life. If you bring along all your emotional baggage, you will be homesick, miserable, and prey to all the sheisters. It completely depends on your frame of mind. #63
Super Member Posted 2009-07-04 17:31:49
I am coming out of a divorce and really feel like Thailand is a place where a man can plant his feet and make a life for himself. Do you agree? Please share your experience on such. You could say that all the answers here could be correct - it just depends on your own personality. If you go to Thailand with a positive mind forgetting the past, you will likely have the time of your life. If you bring along all your emotional baggage, you will be homesick, miserable, and prey to all the sheisters. It completely depends on your frame of mind. It might also depend on what the police check shows. Quote the us courts look at a black man with a record #64
board stiff member Posted 2009-07-04 17:54:02
Sorry, mate, not to be too critical, but you should have a good command of English before you propose to teach it. Amen. However, all is not for the best in the best of all possible worlds. #65
Shipwrecked member Posted 2009-07-04 17:56:01
Be careful....clear your head.....beware of scamming bar girls who'll take advantage of a man with a "broken heart" Reading stickman and awareness of mad cow disease will not qualify you to not be ripped off. Everyone is at first, although they don't admit it. With have all been had by the long con or the short con. You will meet a girl, get some rebound pretend love and everything will seem perfect. At first. The first two years living in Thailand will probably be the best time of your life. Ignorance is bliss. Enjoy it. After a few years you will start to understand about the way the people acutally think beneath that smile. Maybe you will learn the language. Best way to enjoy Thailand is to speak the language. Good luck mate. Come for a couple of years. Keep whateveer assets you have back home. You will need them. Edited by Geekfreaklover, 2009-07-04 18:09:58. #66
Star Member Posted 2009-07-04 19:44:31
Troll posts and the replies to them have been deleted.
-- Maestro #67
Advanced Member Posted 2009-07-04 20:08:58
for job. i have some savings to use while i find one. i am not sure what to do but i think even if i must teach English as choice it is ok for me because i love thai people and i feel like being around the thai smiles is the one thing in this life that will be great every single day. i will not rush to get a job but find the best job available with my skills. in the past i have done alot of DJ work at private parties and clubs (I am African American and have previously worked behind the scenes in the studio for r+b industry) so that may be an option too. Sorry, mate, not to be too critical, but you should have a good command of English before you propose to teach it. please good sir, try to show me how my english is bad and why i can't command it? #68
Senior Member Posted 2009-07-04 20:15:23
for job. i have some savings to use while i find one. i am not sure what to do but i think even if i must teach English as choice it is ok for me because i love thai people and i feel like being around the thai smiles is the one thing in this life that will be great every single day. i will not rush to get a job but find the best job available with my skills. in the past i have done alot of DJ work at private parties and clubs (I am African American and have previously worked behind the scenes in the studio for r+b industry) so that may be an option too. Sorry, mate, not to be too critical, but you should have a good command of English before you propose to teach it. please good sir, try to show me how my english is bad and why i can't command it? #70
Platinum Member Posted 2009-07-04 20:59:58
Charming
With that attitude Im guessing your wife left you right? you do mention she has another man already , that's got to hurt knowing she gettin it every night while you troll the sois looking for cheap hookers Pay the kids first , jeez there are some scum here [/quote] that has got to be the best post on this topic thread. good one because it is true.
#71
Advanced Member Posted 2009-07-04 21:15:11
many elitest and racist too. no problem though. lucky for me thai people are much nicer and kinder than the farang who live here.
#72
Defender of the Realm Posted 2009-07-04 21:20:45
^actually Thai people are very xenophobic and aren't exactly big admirers of dark skin including their own people.
#73
Advanced Member Posted 2009-07-04 21:28:48
90% of thais are dark skin. so they all hate themselves? very smart. you must be thai expert.
i have more problems in usa about my skin then in thailand. thai people are very kind. Edited by MikeSoi11, 2009-07-04 21:29:20. #74
Senior Member Posted 2009-07-04 21:35:30
90% of thais are dark skin. so they all hate themselves? very smart. you must be thai expert. i have more problems in usa about my skin then in thailand. thai people are very kind. Here is the logo of a Thai brand : products to clean toilets Attached Files
#75
Platinum Member Posted 2009-07-04 21:35:56
Was in the same situation, am English, was married to a German, had a hel_l of a hard time during the divorce, so one day just after everything was getting sorted I left, and came here. Been here for 5 years, happily married to a lovely woman.
Job will be a major problem for you, Thais love white skin farangs teaching their kids, but do not be put off by this fact, I know two Afro Americans, both teaching in Universities. Make sure you have the right qualifications to teach. DJ work is not available as far as I know to farangs, but could be wrong. Why not test the water, come over, try it see if you like it, try and find a job, if you get an offer then jump and take it if you want to. Be careful of your Embassy, a guy I know had Child Support lingering over him, he went to the US Embassy, and was promptly told to go back to the US, instead of getting a new passport he got a court order for money. |
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