Posted 2009-11-05 06:51:52
 Vigilante, on 2009-11-04 11:47:03, said:
I would like to start off by stating that I am saying I am not homophobic or have anger management issues.
I go to the gym on a semi regular basis and as anyone else who does the same will quite obviously know there is a large percentage of Thai and farang gay men that go also, no problem with that - some of them are very decent chaps.
Quite often I may notice a gay guy discretely eyeing me up, as soon as I look over though this normally stops immediately. I have no problem with that (if anything slightly flattered) and I can't complain as I may do the same very discretely if there is a hot girl, I am human afterall.
However, most times I go I am finding that there is more than a discrete look from certain people. Sometimes its a blatent standing and gawking from less than 2 metres not caring that I have noticed or a group of them all turning around in synchronisation and all checking me out up and down, staring at my crotch as if they are invisible and making comments not even bothered by the fact I have noticed what they are doing. This really pisses me off and it has been going on for almost a year and now I am the point of losing my temper and hurling a barbell at them or worse. I find it very disrespectful and even gay Thai friends of mine have said this is unacceptable behaviour. I would never stand next to a girl and stare relentlessly at her while she is trying to workout and I feel very disrespected when this happens. I know in my home country gay people are very aware that they should not disrespect a straight man in this way. I wonder how straight Thai men deal with this sleazy and disrespectful behaviour?
Does anyone else get the same? how to you deal with it? I know its easy to say just ignore it and I agree thats the best option but I have been doing that for the last year and I feel that they should not be disrespecting me like this. I can speak some basic Thai, enough to say "stop staring I am not gay" or "what the hel_l are you staring at this is not patpong soi 4". Other than that I am not sure what to do apart from punching one of them to get the point across which I would rather avoid.
Ah! Diddums! Get a grip. You're suffering (if you really are rather than being a troll) what women have suffered since the world began. If you feel disrespected (you've just made that up, haven't you?) you may have the slightest inkling of the way that straight white men have treated the rest of the world for aeons. If you're not a homophobe then bully for you. Some of your best friends are gay, right? What else? You don't hate niggers? You think kikes ought to run the banking system? If the worst thing that's ever happened to you is that some gay bloke has leered at you in a gym then you ought to think yourself very lucky indeed.
Posted 2009-11-05 09:23:14
just say you have HIV,they will never come close to you.
Posted 2009-11-05 09:37:19
endure, on 2009-11-05 06:51:52, said: Ah! Diddums! Get a grip. You're suffering (if you really are rather than being a troll) what women have suffered since the world began. If you feel disrespected (you've just made that up, haven't you?) you may have the slightest inkling of the way that straight white men have treated the rest of the world for aeons. If you're not a homophobe then bully for you. Some of your best friends are gay, right? What else? You don't hate niggers? You think kikes ought to run the banking system? If the worst thing that's ever happened to you is that some gay bloke has leered at you in a gym then you ought to think yourself very lucky indeed.  Well, I did say that at the beginning of the thread, but it seems men are more concerned with being harassed by other men than women being harassed by men 
Posted 2009-11-05 09:55:00
sbk, on 2009-11-05 09:37:19, said: Well, I did say that at the beginning of the thread, but it seems men are more concerned with being harassed by other men than women being harassed by men
Well, picture yourself as a woman toweling off and changing in a mens room ( assuming you would not enjoy this experience  ) and getting oggled at, and hit on. You are correct in your wording, its harrassment.
Posted 2009-11-05 09:59:35
You men, sorry but the words mountain and molehill as well as pot, kettle and black all spring to mind here.
Get a grip. Women look at other women, all the time. Men look at other men. Men look at women. etc etc etc.
Get over yourself and realize its life.
Posted 2009-11-05 11:21:48
I think you should consider wearing baggier clothes. I often see men in the gym wearing clothes that disguise their bodies, and am quite surprised if I happen to glance them in the locker room when they remove the oversized clothes to reveal a ripped body. It is common for shy people to dress in camouflage.
According to the OP, they are only looking at you, not hitting on you. You can either talk to them directly, without any threat, and tell them you are not interested, or that they make you uncomfortable. You can try to joke with them, and ask if you have a hole in your shorts or something. That might embarrass them, and they will be more discreet. Or you can ignore them, and do what you went there for, your workout.
I agree with a previous poster that it is rare for people to cruise blatantly in a gym in Thailand. I think most of the customers in California Wow are gay, and they are certainly eye candy for me, but I only see polite glances, an occasional smile, and a few conversations. It is not a bar scene or a sauna, and people don't act like it is.
Threats of violence, or saying everyone has a breaking point, are likely signs that there is more under your surface than you are letting on. Everyone does not have a breaking point. I doubt that most people do. Interaction in society requires that people be polite to each other unless there is an imminent threat of grave danger. Being gawked at is not even slightly dangerous.
Posted 2009-11-05 12:01:22
If your thinking about listning to the woman's advice about this about this one your too lost for anyone to help you but I have your solution. The same solution I would give to a woman who complains about men checking her out as she stands there in an outfit that covers little more than her G string and push up bra that you can see through her saran wrap aerobic leatard.
It’s the way your dressing numbskull. The year is 2009 so dress like it. Your T shirts should cover your crotch so that you can tuck it in if need be anyway. Your sleeve should dam near touch your elbow and the bottom of your shorts should almost touch you knee if not your calf. Men do not wear pants made out of anything lighter than denim for any reason other than swimming. Oh sorry, lets say diving and spear fishing. What ever you are working out in shouldn’t look any different than what you would cut the grass, wash the car, or change the oil of your car in. I have run 25 miles in combat boots, cargo pants, and back pack so don’t tell me you need shorts that ride up your butt to run a mile on a tread mill. They obviously see you as a fellow with puff potential so maybe you should rethink the image you project, getting angry only makes you look insecure and awkward so stare back at them with an unemotion glare rather than looking down and away as if your fighting some hidden desire. Look back at them as if to say," do I know you idiot?" will let them know where you stand. Another thing, stop going to the YMCA to work out. Start working out in gyms with more dead weights than elliptical ass exercisers like A gym with a boxing ring and a bunch Thai dudes that look like they want to beat you. Gyms with martial arts classes, boxing rings, and police vehicles in the parking lot good. Yoga classes, latté machines, dudes standing around in tight T shirts, spandex, and glimpsing at their nails after they lift something bad. Shouldnt be that dam hard to find as the only gym i ever went to in BKK was full of thai women not dudes.
Posted 2009-11-05 13:29:18
Let me get this straight, deep down I am gay because I do not like gay men sleazing over me in the gym? I am not gay and very comfortable with my sexuality and life as it is thank you.
There is a separate work out area for women in many gyms now. Why is this? Its because of straight men making a nuisance of themselves and making women feel uncomfortable. Should the women that work out in this area be told to get a grip and stop making a mountain out of a mole hill? Is it unreasonable that they feel uncomfortable to be stared at by groups of men and that they should get a grip? its obviously uncomfortable enough for gyms to provide a separate work out space.
The bottom line is this behaviour is extremely impolite. I will say again this is not about discrete looks from polite decent people in there but being gawked at from less than two metres away when it is obvious I have noticed and am not impressed, or guys pretty much squeezing themselves against you with your back to the wall in the corridor and their face almost up against yours when there is 2m of corridor on their other side, Or a group of 5 or staring you up and down again not even bothered if you have noticed or not. I can agree that violence is unacceptable and while it might seem like an option when you are very angry it is not something I would intend to choose. Those people that believe just ignoring it is a fair option but I don't think you understand how long this is going on. I would never behave like this to a woman and would not be surprised if I got a slap or a lot of abuse if I did behave in this way. I suspect those people that feel I am overeacting have not experienced this behaviour themselves. Please believe me when I say this is no exageration and it is only a small minority of people. I am not out to spread bad rumours about gay people or anything else and am only sharing my experiences. If you have not experienced this great for you, I hope you don't have to.
As for dressing appropriately this is very logical suggestion. I normally just wear T-shirt and shorts (normal sized ones) and occasionally a vest for cardio. I am certainly no brad pitt and am no wear near as skimpily dressed as some people in there.
Perhaps next time I experience the type of behaviour mentioned above I will just very loudly (but politely) say "why are you staring at me? I am not gay so please stop its very rude and unpleasant"
Posted 2009-11-05 16:57:55
OK. Everyone has voiced there opinion. Rather than going round in circles and deteriorating it is now.
CLOSED.
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