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I find myself ticking so many boxes the longer I stay in LOS!!!
1. The footprints on the toilet seat are your own.
2. You no longer wait in line, but immediately go to the head of the queue.
3. You stop at the bottom of the escalator to plan your day.
4. You habitually punch all the buttons as you leave the lift.
5. It has become exciting to see if you can get on the lift before anybody can get off.
6. You're willing to pay to use a toilet you wouldn't go to within a kilometer of at home.
7. It is no longer surprising that the only decision made at a meeting is the time and venue for the next meeting.
8. You rank the decision making abilities of your staff by how long it takes them to reply
"up to you mister".
9. You accept the fact that you have to queue to get your number for the next queue.
10. You have considered buying a motorcycle for the next family car.
11. You accept without question the mechanic's analysis that the car is "broken" and that it will cost you a lot of money to get it fixed.
12. You find it saves time to stand and retrieve your cabin baggage while the plane is still
on final approach.
13. You walk to the pub with your arm around your mate.
14. You answer the telephone with "Hello" more than 5 times.
15. Your are quite content to repeat your order six times in a restaurant that only has four
items on the menu.
16. A T-bone steak and rice sounds just fine.
17. You believe everything you read in the local newspaper.
18. You regard traffic signals, stop signs and copy watch peddlers with total ignorance.
19. If when listening to the pilot prove, he can't speak English, you no longer wonder if he
can understand the Air Traffic Controllers.
20. You regard it as part of an adventure when the waiter exactly repeats your order and
the cook makes something completely different.
21. You're not surprised when three men with a ladder show up to change a light bulb.
22. You think it is normal to wait six days to get your laundry back or pay 50% surcharge
for same day service.
23. Taxi drivers understand you.
24. You own a rice cooker.
25. Due to selective memory you honestly believe you could return to the western world.
26. You can shake your hands almost perfectly dry before wiping them on your pants.
27. YOU UNDERSTAND ALL OF THE ABOVE REFERENCES!
You habitually look both ways when crossing a one way street
Your wife calls to remind you she will be home Saturday and have you bought toilet paper.
You are not surprised when the lady who owns the pub asks if you know anyone who will teach her son English.
Not only does it not bother you a lady is cleaning the urinal next to the one you are using, but that you also start to have a casual chat with her.
While stuck in a traffic jam, you see a tiny gap in the traffic in the other lane. You think "If I try and move into that gap, half my car will be left in the lane I was just in, thus blocking traffic for a mile back and frustrating 100+ drivers."
But you don't care and jump in that gap anyway.
You wear a wooly hat and gloves when it drops below 30
You think fairy lights wrapped around a T.V looks beautiful
You Actually believe your wife's family like you!!
You think blondes look exotic
You push the pull open door for the 50th time this week and giggle about the experience again
Your sure theirs room for one more on the bike that already holds 5 people and a pig
You now speak to friends back home in broken English
You enjoy som tam with a few chicken feet on the side
You buy cigarettes in singles, and are sure L&M taste better than B&H
Your sure Loa Khao is a good substitute for a twelve year old single malt
You don't fear a couple of months in the monkey house
You can sleep for 23 and a half hours a day for months on end
You can shower, eat, watch T.V, call all your friends and clean the room in the only waking 30 mins you have each day
You think a face smothered hand cream and white powder is attractive
Or perhaps you just might start missing big fat women with varicose veins.
You think having a 1 baht coin in your ear looks cool
You wear a suit to work then change into flip-flops upon arrival
You add enough soda to your whiskey to render it colorless
And put ice in your beer
You have a conversation with a mouthful of food
And smoke between mouthfuls
You pluck your face at traffic lights
You stand and watch a video in Power Buy
You tell someone the time is about 11 o'clock when in fact it's a quarter to 12.
- You use a whistle when parking your car.
- You season your hamburger with nam pla phrik.
- You are always thinking it must be time for the next meal.
- You stop thinking that a girl riding pillion on a motorbike, side-saddle, wearing a mini-skirt, with one toe pointing to the ground, while putting on make-up, is anything out of the ordinary.
- You can sleep standing up on the bus.
- You can keep your bus fare in your ear.
- If you meet someone called Steve you call him ``Sateve''.
- You know the braking distance for vehicles traveling at 10kph is two meters and that the braking distance for vehicles traveling at 100kph is also two meters.
- You laugh your head off at jokes you can't understand.
- You describe anyone who has ever lived within a two kilometer radius of you as ``my brother''.
- You find that everything you own is counterfeit.
- You frankly never really have a clue what's really going on.<FONT size=2 face=Arial><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: Arial; FONT-SIZE: 10pt">
Edited by tumtong, 2010-06-23 13:28:41.
