I feel a little queer
On my recent visits to Walking Street, I have come to fancy ladyboys more and more.
I am a straight bloke but I worry that this attraction, if I act on it, might tip me over the edge to being gay. Is that how it works?
Can you confirm, or ask one of your gay columnists, whether I would be considered gay if I had intimate relations with a ladyboy?
Are there some lesser forms of intimate contact with ladyboys (I don't want to be too specific in a family newspaper), where I could still be considered straight?
Or am I just lying to myself about my 50 years of heterosexuality and maybe I have been in the closet all along?
Please help me.
Confused in Camden, Perplexed in Pattaya.
Dutifully sidestepping the task we asked our nightlife columnist 'Nightmarch' to provide an answer. This is his reply:
From what I have been able to glean by asking around -the cleaner, delivery boy, sundry columnists, both straight and gay, the Honorary Consul and a couple of ladyboys well known to both the straight and gay columnists- has left me more gender confused than the owners of the bars along Soi Pattayaland 1.
The gay division told us a genuinely gay man wouldn't fancy a bloke in a dress. Mind you, from what you have written about your growing attraction to ladyboys it could be the thin end of the wedge. Start small and work up a head of real steam and before you can say meat and two veg you're batting for both sides as it were.
The allegedly straight brigade said they had once or twice (or maybe even a few more times) been unwittingly in intimate proximity to a person whose chest measurements had been surgically enhanced and whose voices were like sweet sirens with a bad head cold. They claimed the ingestion of copious amounts of alcoholic beverages had led to them dropping their gender guard, as well as some apparel. They described the experience as 'enlightening', whatever that means.
Quite frankly, this is Pattaya, where anything and everything pretty much goes. It's not called Fun Town for nothing. No one really gives a toss which side of the fence you want to find your jollies, or even if you want to firmly plant your crackside in the middle, although the splinters could be much bigger and longer than you might imagine.
In my now out-of-print book Pattaya: Patpong on Steroids I began a chapter with the following, which may help in some way. 'In a 10-year study conducted from 1938 to 1948 and entitled Sexual Behaviour in the Human Male, Dr Alfred Kinsey found an incredible 37 percent of the male population would experience at least one homosexual experience to the point of orgasm at some time in their lives. Given that homosexuality in many countries is no longer considered a criminal activity, the percentage may now well be higher.
The reality is that desire is a lot more complicated than just genitalia. Many psychologists and sex researchers have a belief that humans desire certain types of people rather specific genders. It is not the genitalia that is paramount but the person.
Still gender confused? Don't worry, you're not alone. Just be thankful you're in Pattaya.
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-- Pattaya One 2011-02-04
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