Whenever I fill out an application in the part where it says " Who to contact in an emergency" I always put "AMBULANCE". I mean, I love my mother but what on earth is she going to do?
A computer once beat me at chess but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
You don't need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Whoever coined the phrase "Quiet as a mouse" has obviously never put one in a microwave.
In my experience most people don't act stupid- it's the real deal.
Never tell a lie unless it is absolutely convenient.
The lottery- a tax on people who aren't very good at mathematics.
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A Few One Liners
Started by mca, 2012-01-04 18:14
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