How Much Have You Had To Unlearn About Thailand?

skybluestu, on Today, 06:50 , said:

HardenedSoul, on Yesterday, 20:49 , said:

skybluestu, on Yesterday, 19:59 , said:

Most of my Thai female friends/colleagues have often admitted they think Thai guys are, overall, not that nice. They say it is normal for Thai guys to have affairs while in a relationship and to go out drinking most nights and domestic violence is fairly common too.

Of course Thais are racist! They are obsessed with skin colour, all Thai models and superstars are light-skinned regardless of whether they are actually beautiful or not. People are still employed here based on colour of skin, how is that not racist? Kids are often bullied if they have dark skin, not racist?

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Well most of your friends/colleagues are lying to you. Perhaps to make you feel better about something because, guess what, most Thai women end up with - wait for it - Thai men. Period

Their obsession with fair-skin has little to do with racism and almost everything to do with their idea of what is beautiful. I dunno about you but I've certainly seen dark-skinned Thais in high-ranking government and private sector posts.

Sorry but you should open your mind a little more

We've been here for a similar amount of time, what makes your opinion more 'right' than mine? I was replying to your initial post with my opinion based on what I've seen, heard and experienced myself, I don't need to open my mind any more. My time hasn't been spent in BKK, it has been up North so maybe that is why we have a different opinion or maybe it is you who needs to open your mind, your eyes too!

So every Thai girl/woman that told me Thai men are mai dee lied did they? For what purpose? That is their opinion based on what they have seen and experienced and comes from a wide range of females including successful businesswomen, university students, university professors & school teachers, single, married, divorced, unemployed, straight, Tom etc And of course most Thai women end up with Thai men as the vast majority of the male population are, guess what, Thai! I'm sure if I lived in Spain I would have a Spanish partner, if I lived in Japan I'd have a Japanese partner. Many (not all) of my Thai male friends/colleagues who have a steady girlfriend or wife have giks or a mia noi and those that don't wouldn't think twice about having a one-night-stand, sure this happens in every country but nothing like as much as here, it is pretty much condoned here and accepted as normal.

I know fair-skin is considered as beautiful here but that doesn't mean it is OK to employ someone based on the shade of their skin rather than their education, skills or ability. It doesn't mean it is OK for kids to bully their classmates who have dark skin. It doesn't mean a grandmother should say her beautiul 2yr old grandaughter isn't beautiful because she has dark skin, I've witnessed that twice in just the last few weeks in different families. Yes, there are some Thais who have dark skin that are in prominent positions but that doesn't mean that Thai sociey isn't racist because it is and, again, it is accepted as normal. There are very few countries where such blatant racism in everyday life and in places like schools, universities and a place of work would go unquestioned or unpunished.

My opinion certainly isn't more valid than yours but it is based on my perceptions as a black man in BKK so maybe the divergence in our experiences has its roots in our locations. Nevertheless, I stand by my assertion that the overwhelming majority of Thai women do NOT think that Thai men are no good. I would venture that their lamentations are primarily based on the age-old war of the sexes and an erroneous "grass-is-greener" perception associated with foreign guys than any particular tendency among Thai men for being "bad".

I very much doubt that many wives actually condone their husband's acquisition of a mia noi. Isn't it more likely they begrudgingly accept her existence as the price of holding a family unit together provided it's kept very much on the downlow and doesn't result in a loss of face?

TommoPhysicist, on 11 minutes ago, said:

HardenedSoul, on 19 minutes ago, said:

My opinion certainly isn't more valid than yours but it is based on my perceptions as a black man in BKK ......

No your experience is as a foreigner in BKK who happens to have black skin.
Black men of the foreign variety usually get treated very well in Thailand.
Black men, dark brown men (Hill Tribe), and people who don't speak proper Thai' get treated in a very different way.

Exactly! Just because the OP hasn't personally experienced any racism himself doesn't mean Thais aren't racist. I had a good friend from LA who was black and living in Chiang Mai but he recently went home, one of the main reasons was constantly being called farang dum and hearing comments like 'dum mak mak' while out shopping or at restaurants by kids whose parents just laughed.

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