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83 replies to this topic
Posted 2012-09-12 20:56:37
If you are under 40 and not educated you really don't have much to talk about. Some young people are educated and that is fine; some have the education of experience and that is fine but 18 and no education is usually a bore. I'd go to school part time. Maybe you can hook up with some other young people that are trying to better themselves.
Posted 2012-09-12 20:57:50
Oh...I thought they had moved here.
But, if you are correct then he should get himself to some massage places and make lotsa short term friends...cos before he knows it his holiday will be over and he will have spent it all seeking out real good foreign friends.
I have an idea but...we could all suggest 2 members that we think would make good friends for him and he could pm them. I'll start....TheBlether and Quietman.
Posted 2012-09-12 21:06:23
come on all.... the reason thaivisa is here is to help facilitate meeting people. it is in place of the community newspapers and bulletin boards that most people i know would use when moving to a new area/country -- what's wrong with asking....
lets say its a troll; even so, maybe some shyer people are reading and want to know... i know i did when i moved over seas and didnt know where to start, was alone except for (ex) husband, out in the boonies (now suburban sprawl)... and no internet. we used english language news papers, ex pat hangouts (coffee houses, here.), checked out university bulletin boards, events, museum/art openings; (i did dog shows actually)...
a word to the OP: meeting some folks in a bar is NOT the way. better thru sports clubs/art clubs/book clubs/ that sort of thing; and friendships take time. also, people that travel around alot, make good friends slower; meeting up for a fishing day and some beers even if its 'old gits' can be good, get some good insights to life, the universe , and everything...
my daughter was in the usa for six months and had a difficult time making good friends and the ones she made werent mainstream americans but immigrants or Native americans (arizona)... relax, develop hobbies, do your own thing, people will find u also.
and if the thread stays nasty it will go byebye...
Posted 2012-09-12 21:08:39
Sorry I was skimming, both my parents acquired jobs here. Im sort of soing a part time thing to get a little side money, though i saved a nice stack before i came here. We will be living in bkk for three to four years. Also i was told by a bar woman that the drinking age was subjective and most bars dont care, she said ill get extorted by police if im found underage however. Im also pretty wide eyed in most cases, even while drinking, i always have an eye out for possible dangers.
Thanks for your concerns and comments,
Posted 2012-09-12 21:10:44
I thInk bina was being too kind
Let me phrase that more clearly - if you haven't got a constructive suggestion to add, do not post. Sarcasm may have a place on occasions. This is not it. In fact they come across as being unhelpful, almost to the point of being nasty. So I suggest you stop.
Posted 2012-09-12 21:11:42
You could say im just a little nervous right now and the anxiety of the culture shock is really getting too me.
Posted 2012-09-12 21:30:18
well CC , i dont live in thailand, but have a thai husband, and the problem of friendships is that, a problem. for him a serious one; slowly we are meeting other thai guys that are living here and not jsut temporary; not everyone from the same country likes everyone...
like i said, my eldest duaghter, english speaker but israeli born was in the states in a community college for specific courses (native american studies) and the only people that invited her to coffee etc were the hispanic and native american (indian) students. she is still in contact with them. on weekends she went to local jewish /israeli familes after refusing invites the first weeks ... but found she was missing the 'togetherness' that we have here. its easier when u are younger. hang otu in a decent park and do some sports workouts; theres all sorts of ways; but mostly, everything takes time. if u play an instrument, go to music stores to see what they have there, may be some thai musicians hanging; if u are in to animals, well cant help u with that in bangkok... as for work, u need visa work permit etc... same as volunteering but can be done...
buy food from the same stalls daily, u will fast find people that will speak with you, explain stuff around u... its a matter of patience and personality...
learn thai as soon as possible; learn to like thai food, eat spicey, ask questions, be curious.... golden oppurtunity to be in a different country, use it.and dont neglect your overseas friends, cause frankly, they will stil lbe your really good friends in times of trouble or severe culture shock. and culture shock goes in waves of ups and downs. just surf them, they improve with time.
Posted 2012-09-12 21:47:32
You wouldn't if you'd seen us play lately.
Posted 2012-09-12 22:35:28
Treating this as a man's problem, assuming you want suggestions that you can then ridicule in order to consolidate your own plan:
Get your hair cut and get a real job.
Get into a team sport. I'd recommend rugby, personally, as a particularly good sport for establishing friendships if you are quite open-minded about getting a belt in the chops from time to time.
I've never established any real friendships in a pub, except once, where the life and soul of the party, oddly enough, was a teetotaller
treating it as a woman's problem (unlikely, given the predeliction for mauy thai) and assuming you want emotional support
It's difficult. Don't worry about it. These things take time. Don't let things get on top of you. Cheer up. Did you watch Andy Murray winning the US Open. He's a handsome chap.
Posted 2012-09-12 22:45:09
what a sad story , may i suggest next time your in the bar try ,
ringing the bell ,a few times.
farangs , will soon find you .
Posted 2012-09-12 22:53:52
Reading some of the sophomoric comments I have to agree.
Posted 2012-09-12 23:07:45
This is best forum you will find for secondary English!
Posted 2012-09-13 07:28:54
If your new to Thailand I suggest you try to learn the langauge. If you enroll in a language course you may meet other newcomers who have more ambition than the average barstool crowd and who are also looking for friends... Also, look into volunteer work at the mercy center or one of the orphanages. Here you will meet more friendly and extraverted people.
Posted 2012-09-13 07:55:32
Edited by DaBloodyMess, 2012-09-13 07:55:58.
Posted 2012-09-13 08:12:29
Just to say that at 18 years of age you are not allowed to frequent bars and purchase alcoholic drinks, so hope you stick to pepsi or similar.
Not being pedantic, just pointing out.
Posted 2012-09-13 09:37:56
Oh pleeease, let the boy drink and be mary.
Thailand seems to be a country where you develop more problems than you can solve.
Consider the gay scene, they tend to be a lot more down to earth and liberal.
But do not trust anyone, trust me, especially well meaning expats.
Posted 2012-09-13 10:29:45
Dorothy, indeed, if he does drink in those bars one day he may indeed decide to 'be mary' 555
Posted 2012-09-13 10:38:57
Reading some of the sophomoric comments I have to agree.
I had to laugh at bina. You can tell she's someone's mom (or else related to my sister )
And now I'm going to be the doddering granny as my companion labels me. I am more concerned about your statement;
Im sort of soing a part time thing to get a little side money
Please be careful. Thailand has this thing about work permits and they can be unpredictable on the enforcement.
I suggest you talk the issue over with your 'rents and see about making sure you are legal. It won't take much, especially if they have jobs. They probably have a connection to a lawyer that can make it all legal. The last thing you need is a hassle on your visa, which is what can arise if you are caught working illegally. And yes, web programming is a hot button issue in Thailand as their are alot of underemployed IT people in circulation.
BTW, I still think you should cruise on up to some of the university campuses and walk around. You will bump into some very friendly, normal people. Believe it or not, Thai university students often demonstrate all the wonderful qualities of Thailand; Generosity, friendliness, hospitality, humour and kindness. (Although be careful with some of the science people, they can be downright serious. I know cuz I'm one and I can be a grouch.)
Edited by geriatrickid, 2012-09-13 10:49:35.
Posted 2012-09-13 14:15:31
I suspect however, its easier to get others to play with your toys if you're female.
Posted 2012-09-13 14:22:59
Same in England. The lads who don't skate are usually the ones to avoid after dark. The ones who do skate are often very approachable and are basically just 'normal people'.
Posted 2012-09-13 14:48:49
I can't keep my hands off!
Posted 2012-09-13 15:05:37
The ones I try to avoid are the ones that come out with a foul expletive whenever anyone voices an opinion they don't like.
Posted 2012-09-13 15:10:07
As you can see Thaivisa has more than it's fair share of bitter, uncivilised, impolite detritus. Send me a PM with some basic info about yourself and I'd be happy to meet you for a beer sometime (I'm 28, and I first arrived here when I was 18 without any friends).
About 6 years ago I went along to one of the first ever Thaivisa meetups, where I was in a minority due to my age. I met a handful of really nice people, but even face to face some of the guys there had a few choice (drunken) things to say to me about being young- apparently something of a crime. It is always fun (although like shooting fish in a barrel) to embarrass such people publicly, because they certainly never expect you to be more mature than they are and it's usually easy to show that you are.
Now that I've lived here longer than most old guys I meet, speak the language better than most of them, etc, it no longer bothers me. Very occasionally, you can meet real gentlemen, older characters who have interesting experience and stories to tell, who recognise their seniority, don't feel threatened by you and recognise that they too were once young. Rather than embarrass themselves by trying to drunkenly belittle or better you (which is what is happening with most of the replies to your thread here, and you will experience that in bangkok pubs regularly) such guys are a joy to meet and I always have huge respect for them. Unfortunately you are unlikely to meet anyone like that either online or in bars. Very rare.
Edited by bina, 2012-09-13 16:29:53.
Posted 2012-09-13 15:20:04
definitely (not) interested how you come to that conclusion
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