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[sylvafern]

CLASBYCLAN, on 2007-03-01 22:28:14, said:

ColPyat, on 2006-02-21 10:23:53, said:

I actually rather enjoy the attention my son is getting. At least people do still look out for kids.
Last week we were at Siam Paragon, and i let him run around the elevated outside area while having a cigarette. Straight away some poeple held on to the squirt until we signed them that he is not lost and with us.
A not so nice experience recently was on a train where i walked him around the aisle. He stopped at the seat of two western female backpackers, expecting the usual smiles and attention. The only thing he got was a disgusted look and i got a not very friendly request to remove him as he was disturbing their conversation.

Hi ColPyat,
That is exactly the reason that I am moving to Thialand in a few months, I have two baby sons, the eldest is two, he has a loud excitable personality which I encourage. I'm sick of the lack of response he gets here in the UK when he waves or smiles at people. We were singing the other day in a cafe and an older women told me to tell my son to be quiet as she wanted some peace! It is just NOT child friendly in the UK and that is such a shame. I hope that I enjoy my babies getting lots of attention too!

xxx

My son is also very loud and excitable which is great, but at two he is old enough to start learning when it is appropriate to behave this way and when it is not. If we are in a cafe/restaurant and he starts shouting out at the top of his head (which happens) then he is told to be quieter and I explain to him that their are other people in there trying to eat their meal. If you are planning on coming to Thailand just because you want your child to be able to get away with behaviour that is not appropriate in the UK, then you should think again - you still will get some people looking at you because they want the same peace and quiet that the lady in the UK cafe wanted - you just probably won't get the person coming up to you and telling him to be quiet as it is unlikely they would be brave enough to do so (on the other hand, it is true that there would be some people in the restaurant that would think this behavior - inappropriate by western standards - to be cute and amusing, especially if the child is white skinned.)

I personally don't think that people with children should expect everyone to adore their child. Why should two complete strangers on a train have to put up with a child invading their conversation and space? Sure, it would be nice if they were friendly and chatted to the child, but there should not be an expectation that all people adore children and will start chatting and playing with random kids. Clasbyclan, why do you think it is appropriate that you can go into a cafe and sing loudly and disturb other people? If 2 adults were in their singing loudly would you think it acceptable? If not, then why is it acceptable just because one of those people is a child? I am not saying, don't sing and entertain your child in public, but there it is possible to sing at a volume which is appropriate - if you were disturbing someone's peace then it was obviously pretty loud. What's wrong with teaching your child limits - yes it is ok to sing, but not at the top of your lungs?

If you are planning to move to Thailand so your child can get more attention in the public, then make sure you read some of the stories in this thread so you know the dangers of not monitoring this closely. If you are happy with your child being snatched away from you without you knowing, with their hair being cut off with out asking, etc, then you have no worries. Something else to think about, at some point your child will need to enter education. If your child has already learnt how to behave appropriately from you, then they will have a far easier time settling into school. If they go into school (or nursery) knowing no boundaries of acceptable behaviour around other people, then they will have a hard time.

[sylvafern]

CLASBYCLAN, on 2007-03-01 22:28:14, said:

ColPyat, on 2006-02-21 10:23:53, said:

I actually rather enjoy the attention my son is getting. At least people do still look out for kids.
Last week we were at Siam Paragon, and i let him run around the elevated outside area while having a cigarette. Straight away some poeple held on to the squirt until we signed them that he is not lost and with us.
A not so nice experience recently was on a train where i walked him around the aisle. He stopped at the seat of two western female backpackers, expecting the usual smiles and attention. The only thing he got was a disgusted look and i got a not very friendly request to remove him as he was disturbing their conversation.

Hi ColPyat,
That is exactly the reason that I am moving to Thialand in a few months, I have two baby sons, the eldest is two, he has a loud excitable personality which I encourage. I'm sick of the lack of response he gets here in the UK when he waves or smiles at people. We were singing the other day in a cafe and an older women told me to tell my son to be quiet as she wanted some peace! It is just NOT child friendly in the UK and that is such a shame. I hope that I enjoy my babies getting lots of attention too!

xxx

My son is also very loud and excitable which is great, but at two he is old enough to start learning when it is appropriate to behave this way and when it is not. If we are in a cafe/restaurant and he starts shouting out at the top of his head (which happens) then he is told to be quieter and I explain to him that their are other people in there trying to eat their meal. If you are planning on coming to Thailand just because you want your child to be able to get away with behaviour that is not appropriate in the UK, then you should think again - you still will get some people looking at you because they want the same peace and quiet that the lady in the UK cafe wanted - you just probably won't get the person coming up to you and telling him to be quiet as it is unlikely they would be brave enough to do so (on the other hand, it is true that there would be some people in the restaurant that would think this behavior - inappropriate by western standards - to be cute and amusing, especially if the child is white skinned.)

I personally don't think that people with children should expect everyone to adore their child. Why should two complete strangers on a train have to put up with a child invading their conversation and space? Sure, it would be nice if they were friendly and chatted to the child, but there should not be an expectation that all people adore children and will start chatting and playing with random kids. Clasbyclan, why do you think it is appropriate that you can go into a cafe and sing loudly and disturb other people? If 2 adults were in their singing loudly would you think it acceptable? If not, then why is it acceptable just because one of those people is a child? I am not saying, don't sing and entertain your child in public, but there it is possible to sing at a volume which is appropriate - if you were disturbing someone's peace then it was obviously pretty loud. What's wrong with teaching your child limits - yes it is ok to sing, but not at the top of your lungs?

If you are planning to move to Thailand so your child can get more attention in the public, then make sure you read some of the stories in this thread so you know the dangers of not monitoring this closely. If you are happy with your child being snatched away from you without you knowing, with their hair being cut off with out asking, etc, then you have no worries. Something else to think about, at some point your child will need to enter education. If your child has already learnt how to behave appropriately from you, then they will have a far easier time settling into school. If they go into school (or nursery) knowing no boundaries of acceptable behaviour around other people, then they will have a hard time.