126 replies to this topic
Posted 2006-11-18 21:12:27
 JacknDanny, on 2006-11-18 20:54:42, said:
sbk, on 2006-11-18 20:29:38, said:
Unknown, on 2006-11-18 18:50:26, said:
sylvafern, on 2006-02-16 21:40:48, said:
Sometimes, in my limited Thai, I attempt to explain the concept of stranger danger
Are you American?
Pedophiles and creeps exist in every nation and every culture. Keep your biases to yourself, please.
As for what sylvafern is talking about, it usually only happens to farang kids/babies. When my sister came with her 4 year old son he was quite literally accosted by 30-40 students all wanting to hold him and take their picture with him, overwhelming for a child that age, regardless of what culture they are raised in.
Sylvafern is NOT being overly paranoid, she is being careful of her child's wellbeing. Even a well-meaning person can do harm. Imagine how you would feel if some well-meaning stranger with an urge to pinch your child's cheeks then passed on some contagious disease to him or her?
Hope I am allowed to post on this forum, being male and all 
I think the comments made really depend on the character of your child.
My son is now 5, and has constantly had attention since he was a baby. He didnt mind it, in fact he loved it. The only thing I worried about was when every Thai he met asked the same question "where is your mother?" (I am a single parent) and I thought it would upset him, but he just shrugged it off and says "bpai leow"
As for catching diseases fro someone pinching his cheek  There is probably more chance of him catching something from someone sneezing near him when we are out shopping!!!!
You are quite literal minded, aren't you?  That was exactly my point, she is out shopping and has strangers regularly trying to pick up her child, touch her child etc. A cheek pincher can just as easily sneeze right on your kid as someone else can, I guess was the point you entirely missed
And since you are so literal minded, you are in the "family forum", if you had paid attention to the location
Posted 2006-11-18 21:18:18
[quote name='sbk' post='990985' date='2006-11-18 21:12:27'][quote name='JacknDanny' post='990968' date='2006-11-18 20:54:42']
[quote name='sbk' post='990935' date='2006-11-18 20:29:38']
[quote name='Unknown' post='990798' date='2006-11-18 18:50:26']
[quote name='sylvafern' post='647408' date='2006-02-16 21:40:48']
Sometimes, in my limited Thai, I attempt to explain the concept of stranger danger[/quote]
Are you American?
[/quote]
Pedophiles and creeps exist in every nation and every culture. Keep your biases to yourself, please.
As for what sylvafern is talking about, it usually only happens to farang kids/babies. When my sister came with her 4 year old son he was quite literally accosted by 30-40 students all wanting to hold him and take their picture with him, overwhelming for a child that age, regardless of what culture they are raised in.
Sylvafern is NOT being overly paranoid, she is being careful of her child's wellbeing. Even a well-meaning person can do harm. Imagine how you would feel if some well-meaning stranger with an urge to pinch your child's cheeks then passed on some contagious disease to him or her?
[/quote]
Hope I am allowed to post on this forum, being male and all
I think the comments made really depend on the character of your child.
My son is now 5, and has constantly had attention since he was a baby. He didnt mind it, in fact he loved it. The only thing I worried about was when every Thai he met asked the same question "where is your mother?" (I am a single parent) and I thought it would upset him, but he just shrugged it off and says "bpai leow"
As for catching diseases fro someone pinching his cheek There is probably more chance of him catching something from someone sneezing near him when we are out shopping!!!!
[/quote]
You are quite literal minded, aren't you? That was exactly my point, she is out shopping and has strangers regularly trying to pick up her child, touch her child etc. A cheek pincher can just as easily sneeze right on your kid as someone else can, I guess was the point you entirely missed
And since you are so literal minded, you are in the "family forum", if you had paid attention to the location
[/quote]
No I didnt miss the point. I am using your point to make a point. If you were to be constantly worried about your child catching a disease, then you would never leave your house!!
You dont have to be a cheek pincher in order to sneeze!!
Posted 2006-11-18 21:23:53
No, I would leave my house, I just wouldn't let strangers manhandle my kid all the time
Posted 2006-11-18 21:27:55
sbk, on 2006-11-18 21:23:53, said: No, I would leave my house, I just wouldn't let strangers manhandle my kid all the time
Lets just agree to differ. Just like I am not qualified to make comments on the ladies forum as I am not a lady. You are not a parent. The thread did say " For those that have children........" 
Posted 2006-11-18 21:34:12
You obviously have some issues here, I clearly stated in the Ladies forum that men's opinions were welcome but if you can't be polite about it then don't post --if you can't get your head around that then I suggest you refrain from commenting, hmm?
And frankly, one doesn't need to be a parent to understand how it would feel to be constantly manhandled, I was a child once, remember.
So, instead of engaging in this mindless tit for tat with you, lets just agree to disagree and you can refrain from judgement of myself or sylvafern for her concerns.
Posted 2006-11-18 22:54:49
My wife told them that, they could touch but not to hold because if there baby is in a strangers arms, she would cry alot and would make it hard to calm the baby down. after she told them this, they wouldn't dare to get the baby out of the stroller.
sylvafern, on 2006-02-16 09:40:48, said: I have a 16 month old son who's half-Thai (but very light-skinned) who is constantly grabbed, touched, kissed, pointed at, talked about, etc, etc when we're out in public, e.g. shopping. I don't mind if it's just a wave, a game of peek-a-boo, or a comment on how cute he is .... but when he's grabbed, touched, taken out of his push-chair when my back is turned, or is being mobbed by people taking photos of him on their phones it really stresses me out, especially when I've already specifically told someone not to do it (shop assistants are the worst!). Sometimes, in my limited Thai, I attempt to explain the concept of stranger danger, but other times I literally push the person away or keep walking at the same pace and run them over with the push chair (and then feel bad cos they weren't to know they were the 20th person that day to maul him). How do others cope with it? Does it drive you crazy or do you just accept it as part of the culture here?
Posted 2006-11-19 10:58:33
Lots of folks want to touch/play with our son while we're out shopping. I can't remember anybody taking any photos though. I would be wary about letting a stranger carry your kid around as sometimes they'll just run off with him or her. This happens more frequently with Thai kids but you should still keep your guard up.
Posted 2006-11-19 15:28:03
We have never allowed stangers to mess with our children in the way that is common in Thailand - But let me clarify 'Common'.
Thais do this to foreign kids. They do not do this to the children of other Thais they do not know.
Putting asside disease, there is an issue about establishing the right of a child to its own privacy in its own body.
When our daughter was young we caught one woman cutting a curl of blond hair off my daughter's head! Pinching, tickling, picking the children up was obviously more the norm, my response, our response was to take care of our children first and care about Thai sensibilities second.
I treat any stanger who wants to mess with our kids exactly the same, no matter who they are (Thai or not).
They do so at their perril.
I've slapped hands, pinched people back, and in that extreme case where we caught a woman cutting a blond curl off my daughter's head, I took the scissors off her and cut a chunk out of her own hair.
Thais don't do this to the children of other Thais they don't know, and to put it in context. If they came across a wealthy Thai and his family, the would not even dare go near the children, let alone mess with them.
Edited by GuestHouse, 2006-11-19 15:29:17.
Posted 2006-11-19 15:58:06
phuketsiam, on 2006-02-17 21:52:55, said: My daughter used to get this as well, although the Thai's were more reluctant when me (farang) was around, but they never picked her up without asking first, my wife444444444444 didn't like it to much, she was worried about catching any germs etc, but was too polite to object strongly, would usually try to make an excuse, strangly enough it was my daughter who would get fed up first and start to resist, they get the message then. Overall I didn't like her to get too much attention, although the Thai's only meant well, I didn't want my daughter thinking she was too beautiful or special, now she's older it happens less and hasn't affected her, so I suppose no harm done.
I do not mind the interest, but my son, who in three weeks time will be a year old, is just starting to object. At my local market I would leave him with a well known trusted vender and I would go off and do the shopping. Now he refuses to stay, so I have to carry him round now. The joys of fatherhood.
I have never had anyone try to pinch my son or cut off his hair, that would certainly cause me to react. Sometimes when you are in a hurry it is
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Edited by mpdkorat, 2006-11-19 16:08:42.
Posted 2006-11-20 20:36:00
GuestHouse, on 2006-11-19 15:28:03, said: We have never allowed stangers to mess with our children in the way that is common in Thailand - But let me clarify 'Common'.
Thais do this to foreign kids. They do not do this to the children of other Thais they do not know.
Putting asside disease, there is an issue about establishing the right of a child to its own privacy in its own body.
When our daughter was young we caught one woman cutting a curl of blond hair off my daughter's head! Pinching, tickling, picking the children up was obviously more the norm, my response, our response was to take care of our children first and care about Thai sensibilities second.
I treat any stanger who wants to mess with our kids exactly the same, no matter who they are (Thai or not).
They do so at their perril.
I've slapped hands, pinched people back, and in that extreme case where we caught a woman cutting a blond curl off my daughter's head, I took the scissors off her and cut a chunk out of her own hair.
Thais don't do this to the children of other Thais they don't know, and to put it in context. If they came across a wealthy Thai and his family, the would not even dare go near the children, let alone mess with them.
Thanks for adding your comments - it's exactly how I feel and I have been known to do the same as you and do the same behavior back to the person so they know exactly what it feels like. However, after doing so I feel guilty and worry that I'm not exactly setting a good example for my son!
Posted 2006-11-20 22:23:41
I am sorry to rain on the parade.
The original post is a rubbish, things like that might happen, if accumulated accross the entire farang comunity.
Thais taking up a child from it's prem? Give me a break. Bullshit.
Could be, a mother too proud of her baby telling us some unbelievable stories. Or having her own problems.
I am surprised that so many posters took the bite.
Edited by think_too_mut, 2006-11-20 22:31:55.
Posted 2006-11-20 23:02:28
Just becuase you haven't seen it doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Enough people have commented on similar happenings to their children too. Are they all liars! what a wally 
Posted 2006-11-21 17:42:45
I want to apologize for bad words.
What triggered me was - improbability of the situation that someone picks my baby from the prem, and whan I turn my head - she is not there. Never happened to me and I can't imagine otherwise.
Instinctively, even non-humans know not to mess around with someone else's offspring.
Posted 2006-11-21 18:06:18
think_too_mut, on 2006-11-21 17:42:45, said: I want to apologize for bad words.
What triggered me was - improbability of the situation that someone picks my baby from the prem, and whan I turn my head - she is not there. Never happened to me and I can't imagine otherwise.
Instinctively, even non-humans know not to mess around with someone else's offspring.
Hi think_too_mut (good name!), my wife who is Thai constantly warns me about our child being abducted, mostly in the MBK mall.
In all earnestness, she has told me this has occurred, kids have simply been taken, sold to a waiting customer!
Now she is a bit of a trickster, but she seems so serious, I cannot work out if this is her cunning plan to make sure my eyes are glued to little pugsy or if this has really occurred in the past?
Posted 2006-11-21 18:23:50
Douggie Style, on 2006-11-21 18:06:18, said: think_too_mut, on 2006-11-21 17:42:45, said:
I want to apologize for bad words.
What triggered me was - improbability of the situation that someone picks my baby from the prem, and whan I turn my head - she is not there. Never happened to me and I can't imagine otherwise.
Instinctively, even non-humans know not to mess around with someone else's offspring.
Hi think_too_mut (good name!), my wife who is Thai constantly warns me about our child being abducted, mostly in the MBK mall.
In all earnestness, she has told me this has occurred, kids have simply been taken, sold to a waiting customer!
Now she is a bit of a trickster, but she seems so serious, I cannot work out if this is her cunning plan to make sure my eyes are glued to little pugsy or if this has really occurred in the past?
My wife, who is Thai, tells me, more often than not people ask her if it is a good money to look after a farang baby. They don't realize (at the first sight) that she is the mother.
That thought (children being abducted) has never occurred to us. I understand it's very disturbing. Hope we are both (+ your wife) wrong in that regard.
Posted 2006-11-21 18:33:36
It can happen [taking children from a pram] but it's not like it happens all the time .... just happened once to me, but has happened to 3 other mothers I know .... also once only and this is over the course of the 8 years I've been in Thailand.
Think-too-mut - sorry that you think I am "bullshitting" and trying to get a bite from others .... have way more better things to do than waste my time making up stories. I wrote the original post at a time when this was really upsetting me asking how other people deal with it.
If you don't have this problem - lucky you and lucky them, but it doesn't mean that it doesn't happen to others. Can I ask, are you children pale skinned with pale hair, or are they dark skinned or full Thai? If they are darker skinned or full Thai, this just proves the point that others made that this nearly always only happens to light skinned or farang babies and kids. If your kids are farang/light skinned and are able to move through a shopping center or similar without recieving abnormal attention from strangers then you are, like I said, very lucky.
Why don't you ask some farang friends or collegues you know, especially women, and see what they think ..... Without a doubt I garuntee they will be able to tell you similar stories about the way Thais react to their child (again, I'm talking about strangers here, not people known to them).
Edited by sylvafern, 2006-11-21 18:34:53.
Posted 2006-11-23 23:24:07
sylvafern, on 2006-02-16 21:40:48, said: I have a 16 month old son who's half-Thai (but very light-skinned) who is constantly grabbed, touched, kissed, pointed at, talked about, etc, etc when we're out in public, e.g. shopping. I don't mind if it's just a wave, a game of peek-a-boo, or a comment on how cute he is .... but when he's grabbed, touched, taken out of his push-chair when my back is turned, or is being mobbed by people taking photos of him on their phones it really stresses me out, especially when I've already specifically told someone not to do it (shop assistants are the worst!). Sometimes, in my limited Thai, I attempt to explain the concept of stranger danger, but other times I literally push the person away or keep walking at the same pace and run them over with the push chair (and then feel bad cos they weren't to know they were the 20th person that day to maul him). How do others cope with it? Does it drive you crazy or do you just accept it as part of the culture here?
I love it. I hand over my 8-month old son and have a break. He usually comes back in a couple of hours.
Posted 2006-11-23 23:33:19
GuestHouse, on 2006-11-19 15:28:03, said: We have never allowed stangers to mess with our children in the way that is common in Thailand - But let me clarify 'Common'.
Thais do this to foreign kids. They do not do this to the children of other Thais they do not know.
Putting asside disease, there is an issue about establishing the right of a child to its own privacy in its own body.
When our daughter was young we caught one woman cutting a curl of blond hair off my daughter's head! Pinching, tickling, picking the children up was obviously more the norm, my response, our response was to take care of our children first and care about Thai sensibilities second.
I treat any stanger who wants to mess with our kids exactly the same, no matter who they are (Thai or not).
They do so at their perril.
I've slapped hands, pinched people back, and in that extreme case where we caught a woman cutting a blond curl off my daughter's head, I took the scissors off her and cut a chunk out of her own hair.
Thais don't do this to the children of other Thais they don't know, and to put it in context. If they came across a wealthy Thai and his family, the would not even dare go near the children, let alone mess with them.
Good Post GH, as I stated earlier on this thread manners are universal and irrespective of whether its the "Thai way", it's not 'My way' and anyone attempting to manhandle my son in any way as described in this thread will, under no undertain terms get a 'zero tolerance from me'. 
Posted 2006-12-06 00:13:40
I have only just found this thread - and my god do I hear you. I go out with my four month old baby, people want to touch, pet, stroke, take him away from me all of the time.
People have woken him up while he was asleep in his fathers arms by pinching his legs (out of dads line of sight), have taken him from me and walked off with him, kissed him, fed him food, all sorts. Most of it is harmless and my bubba just maintains a bored look. It's not until the night that he has nightmares and his stress comes out.
Now I realise how it is affecting him I limit the amount of exposure he has, limit the amount of touching he receives and make sure if he is being touched by people he doesn't know then I (or his dad) am always with him. Now I put him in the pram, he has a sun shade over him to protect him from both the sun and the constant attention.
He's young and I feel that a certain level of exposure to other people is good - having read about the baby kidnappings I will keep it in mind. But having experienced the mob mentality that can happen I know why this thread was started - it is quite hard to handle at first. My friends have not understood until they come out with me. One friend is positively rude to all the questions and attention he receives. Its not jealousy on her part, it's simply that she does not live in Thailand and it is overwhelming.
A smile goes a long way. "No" goes even further.
Basically my baby comes first and i have developed (very fast) the skills to protect him.
Posted 2006-12-06 10:32:39
When we adopted our first Thai child, and we were new parents in a strange culture with our cute 1 year old baby..oh, what a mistake we made to go to a shopping malls with him! While we were looking for some baby clothes, a group of saleswomen took our child from a pram and put him to sit on a counter, suddenly about ten women around him, touching and laughing. Our child was in panic (You know, he just get new parents, and suddenly a group of Thais grab him!), we were almost in tears (in panic too)..
After first time, that could happen in every other shop, restaurants etc. if we were not fast enough to stop it.
Well, that was before I get to know this culture, but I was angry because I felt like those strangers ignore me as a mother, just took my baby like he was theirs.
Posted 2006-12-13 11:51:52
Well now that we are now here in LOS, I can comment first hand on this topic,
We have an 8 month old son who is 100% farang, blonde hair, blue eyes, we have been here now only two weeks but already so many incidents to report, some neutral, mainly positive, none negative.
Going about our shopping around Big C, Tesco Lotus, etc we get a lot of staring, thais normal reaction are to smile when they see our boy, some stop and gently pinch his leg or speak to him, ask how old he is and whether he 'girl or boy' (dressed in blue, with t-shirt & shorts IMO obvious what sex he is).
The car park attendant at foodland asks boy or girl, when I tell him boy he gives me the  which makes me
GF is getting a bit  with all the attention but for me I don't mind it. It actually makes me feel  that he is MY son.
Its also great when we go for something to eat, the waitresses want to pick him up and run around with him showing him off, as he doesn't mind this neither do we; it also stops him getting irate and bored just sitting in his buggie while we eat, if he didn't like it we wouldn't allow it.
Each time someone wants to hold him or even take a picture of him, they have asked beforehand which is what I would expect, as I said before manners are universal, irrespective of where you are.
We are only 2 weeks in though, but for now its mainly good and, in the main, the attention doesn't bother us.
Posted 2006-12-13 15:55:39
 Give it time, give it time.....................
Posted 2006-12-13 22:44:34
It's the ka-nom thing that gets me more than the touching. I'm sorry, with all due respect to the Thai culture, I still do not get how complete strangers think they have the complete & unassailable right to give my child any snack they see fit at any time of the day! No regard for food allergies or intolerance, no regard for my rules as regards what he eats & when... He has been given everything from fruit (not too bad, apart from the principle) to candy, to chicken satay, to potato crisps (chips) to gum, and never once have I been asked if it's OK. I've had to teach him (5 yrs old) to come & ask me if it's OK to take something offered, because he evidently has more sense than those doing the offering! 
Posted 2006-12-14 12:23:57
OMG...
What in incredible load of Expat-angst on these pages.. Quotes like these gave me a good laugh (well, smirk) :
Quote off with him, kissed him, fed him food, all sorts. Most of it is harmless and my bubba just maintains a bored look. It's not until the night that he has nightmares and his stress comes out.off with him, kissed him, fed him food, all sorts. Most of it is harmless and my bubba just maintains a bored look. It's not until the night that he has nightmares and his stress comes out. ...
Quote oh, what a mistake we made to go to a shopping malls with him! While we were looking for some baby clothes, a group of saleswomen took our child from a pram and put him to sit on a counter, suddenly about ten women around him, touching and laughing. Our child was in panic (You know, he just get new parents, and suddenly a group of Thais grab him!), we were almost in tears (in panic too)..
For crying out loud.. I have a VERY cute 1 year old, and frankly I think it's a blessing that people toddle around with her. I recall a VERY funny Dave Barry column about the lunacy of 'taking kids to restaurants' because with all the crap kids pull there's no time left to actually stick food in your mouth... Well what a blessing Thailand is then!! There's enough waitresses around to give you some time, and I welcome it if they go play with the baby for a bit so you actually get to eat. I wouldn't allow just any complete stranger to cart her off to unknown areas but that's easily explained if needed.
You got a life in Thailand now go live it and check your US/Euro Suburban Angst at the door.
There.
Posted 2006-12-14 12:45:22
Everyone is entitled to their own opinions chanchao, as you are yours.
"judge not lest you be judged" is some very wise, very old advice that many know but do not heed.
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