KHUNDAN

I first came to Thailand on hol’s with the boys
I heard I was handsome, above all the noise
Of the bars that I met her in
I was lord of the manor then
Before the exchange rate, took it all away.

I travelled here often, a man about town
I deserted the farang wife who was dragging me down
A Walking street warrior
Not having to worry ‘bout her
Before the exchange rate, took it all away.

Retired life in Bangers turned out not so bad
Moved straight to a gaff, an grey bachelor lad
She still works in that bar
We’re going to go far
Before the exchange rate, took it all away.

I bought us a house, in her name, of course
Support her folks farm, oxen, brother and all
She just gave me the clap
We’ll have words about that
Before the exchange rate, took it all away.

Life here’s quite expensive I’ll have to cut back
Her demands are quite high now, but not in the sack
I’m hot all the time
My sweat rings are a crime
Before the exchange rate, took it all away.

I met her meng da, when his truck hit my bike
Her nursing of me was more like a knife fight
And now I’m stuck living here
Can’t afford to buy a beer
Because the exchange rate, took it all away.

My pensions diminished to Thai minimum wage
The bar girls avoid me, my clothes are all beige
It hurts like a hammer blow
I’m not lord of the manor now
Because the exchange rate, took it all away.

I can’t return home, there’s nowt left there for me
My ex wives took my houses, and a two mil. dowry
So I whine like a moron
On Thai Visa forum
Because the exchange rate, took it all away.


^{(not based on a true story; well at least not one relating to me).}