norrona

Quite amusing to follow this thread. Don't all you socalled experts out there understand that the OP's wife has got exacly the life, she dreamt of, when moving to the UK. She don't need to speak English, or at least very little. Getting to spend most of her time with people from Thailand, can eat her somtam on the floor, without being told: "that's not considered civilized". She can send 30.000 baht to the village every month, enough for her parents to have a good life and see her 2 kids with Somchai through school. Don't you understand, she has won the lottery all for the very small price of spending a couple of hours a day with her husband ! You all want to "save" her, not realizing that she are in no need of all your wellmeaning western advice.

There's no way I can say this without coming across as a bumptious arrogant fool however!! due to the twist that this thread is taking I'm going to throw myself to the TV wolves.

Every week in life I will be approached by a friend ( or friends ) requesting help on various matters. Due to my long business career and contacts I'm known as being someone who can cut through he BS and sort problems out. It's my pleasure to help, and I also find it interesting. So far so normal I would say.

I live in an area called Bridgeton in Glasgow, Scots know it is a renowned rough and violent area. By definition in my daily life I mix with some seriously dangerous people, and I mix with salt of the earth types. People just getting on with their lives, and trying their best. I love living here as there is a real sense of community still here. So far maybe still so normal??

In this area there are plenty of vulnerable people, some self inflicted, some born that way, some ground down by the vagaries of life, once again so far so normal. What's my point??

UK Employment Law is not in place to protect those of us that can stand up for ourselves, it's in place to protect those that cannot. There are millions of people out there that lack confidence, education, and lets be brutally honest about it, the IQ, to work there way through life and the system without help.

We in the UK decided years ago that these people would get assistance, and I totally agree with that. I have family members who are at the lower end of the socio-economic ( and truth be told IQ ) scale. However they worked away all their lives and paid their tax and national insurance just like the rest of us. These people are the salt of the earth types, they would give you their last penny, their last crust, if you were in need. They don't need charity, they don't need pity, but they do need protection from bullying manipulating employers.

I've seen it happen, I saw my young cousin work for a whole week and go unpaid as the so called employer took the hump with his immediate boss. I had to go down and slap the head off the employer and take the wages off him. I had to do it because his Dad couldn't, he was a hard working man, a real grafter, but timid. That man was one of the greatest men I ever met in my life, and I'm not exaggerating. His greatness came from the fact that he would work every hour that God sent, in deplorable conditions, for the benefit of his family. He retired from a life of manual hard graft at the age of 63, and died 3 weeks later. Sometimes God can be cruel.

So please resist the temptation to use phrases like " man up ", don't attempt to impose your psychology on others, and understand that it takes all sorts to make a world. Some people do not have the confidence, the knowledge, the ability to go into confrontation of any sort. Some people would rather suffer abuse than speak up for themselves.

This is why we created Employment Law, so that families that don't have relatives like theblether can get help. I think it is one of the greatest achievements of my society, and it makes me proud to be a citizen of the UK.

The OP's wife is now a legally landed member of my society, she is entitled to the same consideration and respect as any other spouse, or for that matter any other member of my society. This situation that she finds herself her should not be tolerated, and the OP must take charge of the situation.

It is up to the OP whether he wants to go through legal recourse, or just remove his wife from that job. He will make the decision that is best for his family, he came here looking for advice and possibly support and now he has it. TV at it's best.

zydeco, on 2012-05-12 13:41:03, said:

I think its sort of funny when people talk about "they" meaning the State as being the enemy. I don't fear the state, I don't break the law, so they can tap my phone or read my emails or whatever. Ultimately I'm paying their salaries with my taxes and I'm paying them to stop terrorists and criminals. I am infact a lot more concerned with a different "they", criminals who (unlike the state) have broken into my house and robbed me and left me with serious injuries, on different occasions. I take the side of law-enforcement including anti-terror and intelligence agencies, because ultimately I am their employer by paying their wages & I remain their employer until I break a law of the land. Criminals are different, they don't care what you write in your emails or talk about on your phone, they will smash your skull in & rob you, rape you etc. for no reason at all.
And whatever you say, those are the two options ;  anarchy with mob rule by the strongest criminals, or state law with rule by the police & the intelligence departments.
Like I said before - violent criminals have almost killed me in my own home, and police/MI5 have not done this to me. Its an easy decision which side I will take. Re: Terrorism policing, the law agencies are not Doctor Spock, they can not know who is plotting to blow up trains and buses unless they investigate them & we have to manage without the use of magical psychic powers.
Re; airports they can look under my underwear if they want to, its only a human body.

Not for the first time, you have posted in a very short period two conflicting stories about you and your wife's plans.

Three days ago you said here "basically we want to go back to thailand for a few years ok" yet yesterday in this topic's OP you say that you are going to actively seek employment so you can bring your wife's children to the UK!

Which is it?

(I wont mention other inconsistencies between the two posts and what you have posted in the past.)

I have closed that other topic, and am also closing this one.

What you need to do is decide what it is you are going to do, what is the truth and what is fantasy. Then start a new topic asking the questions you need answers to.

If you are asking hypothetical questions so you can decide what is best for you and your family, say so! That way you may actually get some useful replies rather than the flames your current approach has prompted.

So you are both scrounging off the UK State and want her two sons to do the same?

w11guy, on 2012-05-09 16:07:34, said:

@w11guy Judging from your response you haven't been to the bar that I am asking for information on, therefore what is the point on even replying to the thread? YOU moved to Thailand for the sun and warm weather, and whilst that's all fine and dandy - I certainly did not. I've been to a few Ice Bars in my time and they've been quite fun. They're certainly different than your average bar. I wouldn't really call it a gimmick. Just an experience. But then the way you're putting it, anything could be a gimmick. "BRB whilst I pay ridiculous amounts of money to do something different!"

Honestly...

ALFREDO, on 2012-04-07 02:25:28, said:

Not to mention, the people he loaned money to couldn't get a loan anywhere else and knew the rates going in. She was scamming him thinking she could get away with not paying him back because of her gender. She probably got away with it too by reporting it. Most women in Australia demand equal rights, so why all the surprise when they get treated the same.

TommoPhysicist, on 2012-04-23 19:15:33, said:

Tommo, I mean absolutely no disrespect and am not judging you're lifestyle. However, have you thought seriously about how you might be limiting you're kids potential?

It's all well that you are living the life that you want, but what options will you're children have when they are older?

I say this because this is one of the reasons why I chose not to make Thailand my permanent home. I have no kids, but would like to someday. I could not imagine depriving them of the same opportunities that I was given growing up in the U.S.

My father was an immigrant to the U.S and worked hard so that we could all go to good universities, and set ourselves up for the future. When I thought about the idea of raising kids here, I couldn't help feeling that it would almost be like erasing two generations worth of work on the part of my dad and I.

Raising children in a third world country is a very serious issue. Good luck to you.

I love the spot where Colov says something like "so you're guaruanteed to have an x% return on your investment, how wonderful." It's clear to me from that point on that he's a co-conspirator, fully aware of benefiting from the scam.

edwinclapham, on 2012-04-19 16:31:29, said:

You're reasoning is very similar to my own. I have lived and worked in several different countries. All of them had good and bad.
I am not much of a drinker, and this seems to be a major part of the expat culture here. A big reason for myself not staying here long term is also the failed attempt at making any decent "trustworthy" friends. In my early days I had made several friends, but all of them turned out to be very dishonest, or just had delusions of grandeur (lying about who they were, etc.).
I have been "almost" conned more times in a year, than I have in my entire life (by Thai and Farang alike). Looking over your shoulder all the time and not being able to trust people much gets tiring.........

Many years ago I was sitting at the FCC late one night drinking with some mates. In the background there was a band playing a tune. All rather forgetful, except for the line from the chorus "She's so Hi-So, her dad is Chinese".

Pissed myself laughing.

ThaiVisa members who sneer at all the members that have less money and smaller pensions than them.
ThaiVisa members who look down on Thais, the traditional Thai rural way of life, and the Thai education system.
ThaiVisa members who think their wife is better than other members wives because theirs is, educated, Chinese, wealthy, hi-so.
Young and good-looking ThaiVisa members who think their bar-girl purchase likes them more than they liked the fat, bald, old fart who purchased the same girl last/next week.

I don't know you however I feel I've met your type before...........In the UK they are called cat women,  the old eccentric ladies that end up with 40 cats running wild and living alone.  All the kids fear them and the mums warn you to stay away from the weird lady at the end of the street.

I looked at your profile, your not old, your 43, but I have met you. I met you in my shop last week. Your the overly forward and slightly shambolic lady that came in looking for the bed that has never been made, it exists in your head because it's the bed you think that should have been made, because you like it, everyone should like it.

Your the lady in my shop last week that jumped like a scalded cat when I mentioned the word female, then abruptly called me sexist for mentioning that word. I was deeply insulted by you, who do you think you are? You can't judge me, but by your responses on this thread you feel you can judge everyone.

Your the lady that pays to the baht in the market, but blows 20,000 baht on soi dogs. The people in the market know you, and they don't like you, in their mind your a parsimonious weirdo, full of self righteousness and worth, but not realizing that you are out of track of the real world.

You don't realize that we normal people out here are reading this thread and wondering why you are not spending 20,000 baht a month helping the poor in your community, why you are not helping to educate the children, pay for medicine for the grandmother. I know why, it's because you can't handle people, that's why your a loner, and in a city of 100 million, you would still be alone.

That's up to you, I don't criticize you for it. I have a daughter who is heading down your path, that's her choice too.

However do us all a favour and have a good look at yourself, remember what Rabbie Burns the Scottish poet said.

O would some power the giftie gie us to see ourselves as others see us........... (O would some power the gift to give us to see ourselves as others see us.)

This is the problem you have......you can't see what others see.  I think it wouldn't matter what country you lived in you would come across the problems you are facing, it's not racism, it's you.

I don't suggest you change except in one regard.  To solve a problem first recognize you have one, you have recognized you have a problem.......and you have come here looking for a solution, I may be wrong, but I think you will find the solution lies within.

bendix, on 2012-03-27 16:01:16, said:

You talk a lot about retirement, don't you?

It saddens me when I read about men who spend more or less their entire adult lives working purely in order that they can ..... retire.

I don't wish to retire. I doubt Sir Alex Ferguson wishes to retire. I doubt Warren Buffet wishes to retire. I doubt Sir Richard Branson wishes to retire.  

You don't need to retire, little Bendix. You just need to get yourself a life.

Take a risk. Be brave. Be bold. Be daring.

Take delight in it and embrace it,  be the proudest man in the room,  and let her know how proud of her you are.

You're not in competition with your wife, you are a partnership.

" be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise"


You and you're marriage will be happier and better for it.