jaiyenyen

There are plenty of better opportunities to work in the UK, you just need to give your wife a push (and some support)

Working in the Thai restaurants is often only for those who have just arrived (and have no other opportunities) or for students who just want some extra cash for partying (without having to ask their parents to send extra from Thailand)

Even without speaking English, she has a few obvious better options than earning 3 pounds/hour in the restaurant:

Thai massage: the normal pay is 15 pounds/hour in London (must be slightly less outside London), and although she will not have a massage to do every hour of the day, she will earn much more than in the restaurant. If she works in a spa, they will normally provide a staff room where she can relax with the other Thai staff (and maybe use that time to study online either to improve English or attain other qualifications).

Cleaning: in London at least this has become a foreigners-only job as the Brits feel it is below them; we know Thai girls who have cleaning jobs paying 10 pounds/hour (and found these jobs very easily). The best wages are available if she deals directly with the customer so you might need to help her get a little website and some flyers; if she is shy you could also knock a few doors or make a few calls for her.

Nanny: if she is good with children (as most Thai girls are from my experience) she could find work as a nanny. The work is more difficult to find that cleaning but the wages can be even better, especially if she pop backs to Thailand and gets some childcare and first-aid certificates. Again, helping her with marketing is advised.

Restaurant owner/manager: while she probably will not want to compete directly with her current employee, there is no reason why she couldn't open up in a new area (especially as she now has the experience to understand the business). Although there are of course many Thai restaurants in the UK, there are some sections of the market that seems less well covered, especially Thai barbecue (which I am sure would be popular as all the Korean barbecue places are very busy). Depending on your financial situation (and again her confidence) you might want to start small; in London for example they have certain streets that are allocated to "street vendors" (basicly caravan trailers selling takeaway food).

I tend to agree with your wife that reporting her employer is bad form. A better tactic would be to go to speak to them and ask for a better deal. If my wife (or I) worked in a restaurant for such a long time I would be expecting a higher salary and probably some equity or bonus arrangement. If the owner doesn't want to, or is not in a position to, offer a better deal then it is time for your wife to explore other opportunities (including those listed above).

allan michaud, on 2012-05-14 13:16:54, said:

Exactly! Many students are too scared to even attempt to speak English due to worrying about making a mistake but as they become more fluent they become more accurate so they should be encouraged to speak as often as possible.

This is largely a social problem. I work in Cambodia but am married to a Thai so I see the huge difference between the countries in this regard. Here in Cambodia, almost everyone wants to learn some English, the level here is amazingly good even in the remotest places. From what I have seen in Thailand there is little interest in learning English (or anything much for that matter) complete apathy. Another thing also highlighted by this article is the fear of trying to speak English, the fear of losing face I guess. I have heard this from teachers here before. One I know took over an English class from a Thai and was appalled how scared the kids were to even try to speak. This was because the Thai teacher had insisted on perfect grammar rather than encouraging them to experiment and try to link words and phrases together. This was so extreme that he actually had a child wet himself in class because he was afraid to ask to go to the toilet as the previous teacher became very angry if they made even the smallest mistake. English is a very flexible language and it is easy to say the same things in a number of different ways. I believe this fear is a large part of the problem and it is simply a matter of encouraging people to experiment, not to be afraid of making a mistake, good grammar can come later once they become more confident. But they need to want to learn and that is not something I see very often in Thailand.

theblether, on 2012-05-10 19:50:45, said:

She has told me she doesn't agree with it either.

On another occasion they were collecting for something else for the wat ( i think they all needed top ups for their mobiles or something). The wife gave as normal but when she put 100 baht in the dish, the guy actually started hassling her, asking why because she has a farang, didn't she put more money in. this was in front of the neighbours. she just walked away but he kept on talking. she turned around and walked back over, put her hand in her purse again, opened it and then put her hand in the dish and took the 100 baht back. the guy couldnt believe it and neither could the neighbours.  

Whether there was a sign saying "No Balloons" is totally irrelevant.

The BTS Regulations clearly state Flammable materials are not allowed on the BTS System :

http://http://www.bt...er/en/main.aspx

ข้อห้าม

ห้ามสูบบุหรี่ และนำวัตถุไวไฟ หรือวัตถุอันตรายเข้ามาในระบบรถไฟฟ้าบีทีเอส

There is no way there can be a sign at every BTS Station specifically listing ever item which is potentially flammable but clearly Balloons are so considered - rightly so since in Thailand they are often filled with Hydrogen.

And please don't come back with "but they are filled with Air - you can see that because they drop to the ground" because that is immaterial, the Guard is not authorised to make any decision about that, he has been told balloons are banned - end of story.

Patrick

Not sure if people posting here have NO common sense, but:

*  It is not important what type of gas is in the balloon

*  It is not important that there were/are no signs prohibiting balloons on the BTS

*  It is not important that he may have carried the balloons on the BTS earlier in the day

What is important is that the security person instructed him not to take the balloon/s on board, and he chose to ignore that instruction.  When an attempt was made to prevent him doing so he became violent.  The relative masses of the protagonists, 100+ Kgs versus 45 Kgs (estimated), left little choice of courses of action to the security person.  I think he's damned lucky not to be more seriously injured.

I see the 'apology' by BTS management as a bit of face saving, something very important in Asia.

The Irishman added not only did he sustain an injury and have to miss days of work, the incident also hurt his daughter's feeling who was at the scene.

He said the fact that BTS has sent flowers to apologize for the scandal could not make up for it.


1) Miss days off work? The guy should NEVER be allowed to work as a teacher again anywhere in the world. He clearly teaches that the laws don't matter.

2) His daughters feeling were hurt? So why didn't he take a cab and not subject his daughter to such beligerence?

3) The BTS sent flowers and this loser still carries on and on. What a prat.

It was nice that the BTS appologiesed however not nessacary. Did he apoligise to the Gaurds he got fired? NOT

Why were the guard{s} removed? Ok maybe the one who hit him just until investigations are finished but the others?

Does anyone know where this security gaurd lives? I want to buy him a beer. Because this loser decides he is above the law and cannot afford a taxi 3 or 4 Thai people are now without pay-checks. What a moron !!!!!!!!

Language barrier? I think both his wife and daughter could translate however it seems he has been here long enough to even understand pigeon English "No Ballons"

I agree with many here that losers like him give us decent farangs a bad name and I also ask Thai's not to blame all of us for these type of reprobates.

HOW THE HELLL CAN HE STILL HAVE A JOB TEACHING ???????

After viewing the video, it sure looks like the farang is overly agressive.  A rather silly thing to do, ESPECIALLY given that he has his young daughter in tow.  What a life lesson for her.

Bottom line, he should have taken a taxi.  He gets zero sympathy from me.

Some people are simply far better natured and less cynical when they first arrive.

Some are lucky enough to maintain their good nature while developing a healthy sense of cynicism.


In a very similar tale I have a friend who while working upcountry befriended a female laborer. They appeared to get along well and were nothing more than friends possibly as a result of professionalism on his part.
After a month or so of ‘getting along well’ and becoming quite good friends my friend observed that she was using a really old cell phone, her salary was not such that she could readily afford the phone she most coveted.

My friends was in the position to offer incentives to the work force i.e. tokens of various types, phone cards etc to reward those who work hard and get on well – he issued these out on weekly basis to those who’d earned them, male or female.

My friend decided to make a personal contribution and bought this girl a newer cell phone. She stuck her nose up at the gift and complained that it was not the cell phone she wanted, she took it, sold it and kept the money !!!

My friend was somewhat shocked at this level of disregard for his generosity. He did however, learn a lesson and now maintains a much higher level of cynicism while remaining good natured.

The saddest part of this tale for me is that when he told me the story I was not in the least part surprised.



I too have many Thai friends, none of whom want or expect anything from me other than friendship. They are similar to me in their socio-economic status.

It appears that these outstanding issues of ‘careless need and thankless greed’ occur when westerners are dealing with those on the lower rungs of societies socio-economic ladder and decide to play Robin hood / Night in Shining Armor. It is these poorer people who are often most in need of assistance that so readily shoot themselves in the foot.

I think you need to make a plan. (and to understand the shift in the balance of your relationship when you move to Thailand).

The most critical shift is going to be you are moving from being a citizen with full citizen rights, to a guest in your wife's country where you have few if any rights. The first and most obvious lack of rights is the right to own land (essentially no right to own a house in your own name and no shared ownership of house/land with your wife).
Unless you are very careful this will result in a gradual (sometimes swift) transfer of your shared assets to your wife's sole control. The house you are going to build will be in your wife's name on land owned by her or to be bought in her name.

Your plan should include preserving your assets in your or your shared name, ideally back in the UK.  Ideally maintain property, cash, pensions and assets in the UK. You might at sometime in the future reconsider this if your life in Thailand turns out to suit you both but at the start Do not put all your eggs in the Thai Basket, and do not burn your bridges.

This is not about not trusting your wife, it is about ensuring your future if anything goes wrong.

What you have said suggests that your wife plans for you to live in her village/town - This almost certainly means you living with her family AND her family living with you.

This to me is a game stopper.

Your home, sorry, your wife's new home, is going to be her family home.

You need to find out EXACTLY what your wife's expectation is on this?  Exactly where you are living, where is this house going to be built ? who is going to live in it? (Beware large numbers of spare rooms, actually any spare rooms - nature and Thai families abhor a vacuum).

Find out what your wife's plans are with respect to her family? Is she returning home to take care of them in their old age? Probably not old at all, but always on the lookout for a chance to say they are too old to work and put out their hand out for an easy income (Perhaps not easy for you if you are going to have to earn it).

What is your long term financial plan to ensure your financial security into your own old age? Have you got pensions and saving sorted, are you making pensions and long term savings, are you going to be able to continue making these savings? Most Thais cannot see past their next bowl of rice (if they happen to be eating rice at the time they can't see past the bowl of rice in front of them) - But you need to ensure your own personal long term financial security - and don't base that on Thailand being cheap now.
Remember, you will be a guest in Thailand, your long term financial security needs to be based on being able to return to the UK and live in the UK if your life in Thailand does not work out.

Personally, I agree with you, you know you've made a mistake agreeing to your wife's demands. Don't compound that by agreeing to all her demands.

Find out exactly what her plans are and then decide if you are going to go along with them.

DO NOT..... DO NOT.... DO NOT...... BURN YOUR BRIDGES.