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That I'm afraid is not the definition of the word denial, and highlights exactly how some people get confused. If I don't go somewhere or don't do something to avoid potential issues, then that isn't denial is it. Denial is refusing to accept something exists.
And when these things are brought up you have a bias to deny they either exist or effect anyones lives.. Textbook denial.
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Lots and Lots would have to change for me to not find Phuket suitable. I would need to feel That my family wasn't safe. As safe as they would be in my home country at the very least. Or I guess the easiest way to put it, is if I lost the ability to distance myself and my family from all the negative aspects of Phuket. If they started to affect our daily lives and there was nothing I could do to prevent it, then it would be time to leave.
That was a large part of it, we had our 3rd robbery, 2nd actual break in. But this time my wife of the time was upstairs asleep in bed. She phoned me but I didnt hear the phone. When I returned home she was in a blind panic. After that she simply hated to be alone at home, if I went out she was in real fear, locked in the house, behind multiple locked doors, locked in the bedroom. Her statements were along the lines of if someone breaks in they would rather kill a Thai lady occupant than leave a witness. So it got to the point of any time I left the house after dark I felt like I was leaving her to remain terrified until I came home, which kind of puts a downer on your lads night out if you think your partner is actually suffering. I tried covering the house in stalag 14 auto spot lights and stuff, but it was her fear, which after the multiple break ins I couldnt say wasnt real, so hard to stop someone being scared. To be honest, me I couldnt give a dam_n, I wouldnt have even fitted the lights, when they break in what do they take ?? A camera ?? a phone or two ?? The TV's too big to carry.. Its just loose stuff. I would rather lose the stuff and not care.. But the fear not the actual loss was her problem.
I can take the development. I dont think of it as a positive the way it is going now, but along with some development came better stores, better internet, better services. The overload of billboards and population was to me a net negative but it wasnt the key thing. Maybe in 3 - 5 years it will be, it sure is for many of my expat mates who left before me, its what people who visit back remark on but I could just about deal with it. For me the best times was somewhere after the turn of millennium and through to the tsunami period. Rawai / Nai Harn was still a village area, but we had west coast connecting roads, etc etc..
But related to the growth was the attitude of the locals, and by local I mean anyone Thai whether they had arrived 1 week ago or not. The fact they had come to Phuket for its economic prospects, and then got onto a hamster wheel of revolving higher costs of living, and massive business costs to pay for licenses and pitches in the corrupt system, so working hard and not perhaps finding the streets paved with gold puts them under stress and pressure. I find Thais dont handle stress that well, they are at their best and show the best side of Thai personality when sabai sabai, mai pen rai, relaxed. When pressured they can be looking to vent to release that bottled pressure and theres a huge tone of anti farang attitudes which was getting strong and stronger (seeing some of the farang behavior no wonder why). There is a certain segment of the population that is just waiting for any chance to tell you you cant park there, oi you farang move, to exert any tiny power they may have. Look at the kickings dished out by groups of Thai males at the slightest provocation.. I dont react well when not treated politely and with some basic respect (how I treat others), being shouted or barked at doesnt fly with me in any country or language. Look me in the eye, ask me nicely and I am very easy going, push me and your going to get pushed back.
That being pushed around, ordered about, jumped on.. Combined with the fact that the economic migrants chasing the streets paved with gold will try by fair means or foul to get to your cash, put me too much on the defensive. Made it too hard to be relaxed and off guard with the locals, so no longer laughing and joking with them. I like life to be a series of positive interactions, I get a kick out of laughing and joking with the people I meet, the craic (even non verbal) as the Irish in me would say. It was getting harder and harder to have that in my life on Phuket.
The reason I guess I am / was vocal about these negatives is, they are getting far stronger, and the trend is accelerating. There really wasnt this anti farang vibe (nothing like this same level) at the end of the 90s (see the Jake Needham interview recently) and even tho I had my own rose tinted specs at that time, you needed far less of a tint. Services were worse but people were better, crime was better, and the rip offs were lower. You didnt have every inch of the island claimed by some clique or group, while for sure rough justice still applied the gang mentality and protectionism had not spread into every trade and group. I understand why, everyone is fighting so hard for their tiny slice, it makes them hard, it makes them downtrodden in the bribes they must pay to those with power, so who do they see to lash out on? the farang, who they perceive as probably having no power (and usually are right). Its not a mystery, its not hard to see why it happens, but its impossible to deny that it is happening.
I also understand if you havent lived in other parts of Thailand (or only Pattaya) or only been here post tsunami, why its less of an issue, this is what you arrived too, its seen as normal. But it really wasnt like that, not to the same level, and in other parts of Thailand outside of where tourism is the sole economic driver it still isnt. People are decent, they wai you, farangs still have a small level of built in kudos and respect (we must have some wealth is part of the driver) and get a fair shake at establishing a relationship of equals. Young Thais are wanting to practive thier limited english and you get those great sh smiles as they try. To see a place you loved and lived gradually become less friendly, higher crime, more concreted over, its saddening. Its depressing. For a long time you hope it will reverse course, you hope the changes are reversible, you deny the trend. You try to minimize those issues, or wall yourself off from them but in the end you cant wall yourself for the society around you.
So lots of related issues. A higher crime and more predatory environment making it far harder to relax and relate to the locals. Not relating to the locals making it harder to integrate and be accepted. In the end if your really going to make a life here, it was important to me to integrate more, to become more accepted, to be part of the society not just an economic driver to someone elses society. Thats becoming harder and harder to do on Phuket.
