-noodles-

Like all things in Thailand, it is difficult to figure out what is going on, what is expected, what is considered stupid, etc, because most Thai people that you ask, will lie, for one reason or another. The very first thing that every foreigner should think is " am I getting told a lie?'  And in almost every case, the answer is YES, even though that doesn't help you figure out what the truth is.  I think it is generally understood that Thai women often get involved with men, any man, but especially farang men, because they expect to benefit financially.  I mean, really, Thai people don't like us farang, they don't  understand us, but they are trained from a young age, to agree with people who have more power.  What a surprise, you meet a young lady, and she says she doesn't like Thai men, she doesn't even like Thai people, she LOVES farang, and we believe it, because in general, we don't like Thai people or Thai men.  Thai people talk together, that is their major sport, hobby, education, and they learn things like Western men tend not to "box them".  So then they say to us, that they used to have a Thai man, who "boxed them" and never paid for the kids, and drank too much, and we believe it.  It might be true, but what we believe, that they will appreciate and love a man who does not "box" them, who actually pays his bills, who has some ethics and morals, well that just isn't the case!  They do not usually think well of you/us, they usually think we are stupid..  And this doesn't have to be a love relationship, can be your maid.  You pay more then Thai people do, and expect less work, and don't make her work 7 days a week, and don't wake her up at 10pm to empty your car of the shopping bags, and well we think she will appreciate this nice working atmosphere.  But holy cow, she doesn't!  She starts making excuses to miss 2 days a week of work, starts cutting down her 7 hour work day to 2 hours, starts washing other people's laundry in your machine, with your soap and water, etc.

Okay, well there seems to be maybe 3 groups of farang men here, 1)  they will pay anything, get screwed, pay too much, 2) people who pay almost nothing, but brag about how helpful they are, how they have changed a whole family from utter poverty to the middle class, and they only spent $5 and their brain power to set them up selling "water, ice and cold drinks".  They continue for maybe a decade to sleep with the lady, who they claim they don't pay, but taught to fish so they can support all the family. And they feel very good and maybe better then most, how smart they are, to get sex for almost free, and to get to help people out of poverty at the same time, and well a divorce would cost them many thousands of times more, you pay either way, etc ...a la Ian Forbes.

And well my third group, which includes everyone else. I have found that among Thai people, most ladies have land from their family, the man then builds the house, which insures some amount of something, because the man can't take the house off the land. But keep in mind, the lady has contributed.  So after the man marries and had 2 or 3 or 6 kids, he can leave, but the house is staying put.  Many Thai men seem too cheap, they wouldn't leave their lady if it cost them 5 baht, my GOD, that is a lot of money down the drain!!  They just go get another lady and ADD to their life, but they don't just leave.

There seems to be NO situations, that Thai people will turn down money, so if their family member gets a farang, they will try to get money.  And it seems to me, that very few Thai people will do a lot for their family, or very much. I think they use their family as an excuse to need money, but if you give your Thai person some big amount of money, let's say you decide to give them 50,000 a month, or more, they will not forward most of that to their family, even their own children living in the village. They will continue to send the bare amount someone can live off, like 2000, and pocket the rest, gamble the rest, do something else with it, I suppose the best thing is if they save it.  Maybe the best they do, is build a house, but they consider that their house.  And legally it is their house.  Just check it out, you know there are ladies making big bucks, but how many Yais are there driving a BMW?  None.  How many international school are there in the village?  None.

Well anyway, most of you farang men have decided to turn in your Feminazi women, and get a Thai lady.  The Feminazi paid half the bills, sometimes more then half, did probably all the work, like a Thai lady will do, had an education, can keep up with you, etc. Now you want a rice farmer lady, and you have to pay, it is cheaper then one day of maid service in London, so what is the problem??  If you have a child together, you just have to change every single thing you ever thought about raising children, for example.  You just have to ignore it when you find your wife steals money from your wallet. I have found it ridiculously less expensive to live in Thailand, once I started locking ALL money, even 100 baht, in a safe, all day and all night, every day of the year. It is not an accident that ALL Thai furniture has locks on every drawer and every cupboard.  In fact I would suggest this, locking up your money, as the first defense against the recession, or the low value of your money.  You will be SHOCKED how much less food and everything costs, when there isn't someone picking away at your cash!

If you need a reminder of what life is in Thailand, then I suggest people go visit the local guest house, around mid-day, when all the Western guys are treating their hookers to breakfast.  You don't find Japanese guys, Chinese guys, Thai guys, paying for sex, then treating them like girlfriends.   You do however, see many Western men, who seem to be confused about the transaction, who are nicer then everyone else.  Maybe there is a reason for people to think we are stupid?  I think we are generally just nice people, but that is not something that is respected here, so why do it?????  The Op's question, how much to pay the MIL???  Do you really think Asian people are asking themselves this question?  Do you ever hear about your lady's boyfriend from China who is paying 20K a month, the man from Korea who is paying something, the man from anywhere that is Asia? No, because Asians are used to have prostitution in their world, and don't lose their minds over a girl.  You do hear however, about the German guy, the Swedish guy, the UK guy, the American guy ...usually all at once, and they are described as being stupid buffalo, and girls brag about how many ways and times they scammed them out of money ...often the man is sitting right next to them, then they also ask if I know any other farangs who might want them.  Personally, I would think it would be embarrassing to admit I was with someone for money, but people here seem to think it is embarrassing to be with anyone, if they are not getting money. The most embarrassing thing, of this whole problem, to me, is the girls and their bragging about how bad they treat their boyfriend/ husband, how NICE the man is to them, and yet how they manage to fuc_k them over in every way a person could possibly think of.  At first I thought the ladies were admitting their mistakes, as in "he was so wonderful, and I took advantage and lost him" but NO, it was "he was so nice, so thoughtful, so kind, so generous, he BOUGHT ME this, and that, and this and that ...( a never ending list) and he massaged me, and he took care of the baby, and I didn't have to clean, or have a job, or take care of the baby, and he did all the paperwork, and all the everything work, while I just laid in bed for 2 years, all I did was take yaa-baa, and other drugs, and my nice husband did everything ...and well when I kept threatening to kill him, he decided to go back to his country."

Anyway, it seems best if farang people want to pay a salary, because your lady is no longer working, but just taking care of you ...why don't you just decide how much that is worth to you, give that, and leave her family and all that, up to her?  I assume that most of you are paying the lady's living expenses, she isn't paying rent, food, electric, and actually I know men who pay every single dime of the girls' life, then give them a salary of 20,000 baht a month, just to save.  I know a guy who has been doing this for 10 years while he works for a 5 star hotel in China, she gets a hotel room to live in, all her food for free, laundry, maid, use of the gym, the pool, she is living like a queen and banking 20K a month, plus extra money for birthdays and holidays, etc. She is a short, chubby, dark girl from Nan, who would have no chance of this life otherwise. Then he buys her tickets to go to Nan and visit her family twice a year, while he whores around in BKK ...paying for that again. What a nice life!  For all of you who think you could never have this in your home country, I am not sure.  Maybe you could, if you were willing to part with as much money as you end up missing in Thailand, for whatever reasons.

Have any of you tried?  Go up to a woman in London, and tell her you want to pay for her entire life, and her family, and see what happens.  Tell her you just want to spend a few weeks a year with her, while you go work on an oil rig, or in Iraq, or whatever, and that you will pay for her to go to university, pay for a house in the country, buy her a car, etc, I think you will have more success then you might expect. And I doubt those ladies will be stealing cash out of your wallet, and coming up with sick buffalo stories.  And they probably won't already have 3 children "living in the village" with Yai while they whore around BKK.