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and what exactly is she bringing to the table? She views you as a cash cow. She does not respect you otherwise she would never ask for something like that. I would be willing to bet her family put her up to this......
About the culture difference - you both need to compromise, tell her this and that in Thai culture a Thai man that can provide all that she is asking for would not be interested in her - only people in the same position in society.
Get rid mate she is taking the piss. Plenty of nice girls out here that would really value a normal decent guy and never disrespect you in this way.
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In Topic: Financial Expectations Of A Thai Women
2012-04-30 16:10:42
HardenedSoul, on 2012-04-30 15:27:02, said:
Do you live together ?
No we don't live together, but only mainly because we work on opposite sides of Bangkok. I kind of like the space in the week to work on little projects I have. However, if we lived together I would pay the rent in full.
BigJohnnyBKK, on 2012-04-30 15:30:27, said:
You may find she'd be happy with as little as 5K per month above and beyond what you're kicking in now. If that's acceptable to you put aside your preconceptions that this makes the relationship any less genuine, and don't think less of her morally, IMO that's just the way things are here.
On the other hand, if you're willing to make it clear that you intend to marry her and commit to taking care of her as long as things are OK between you, she may be willing to continue deferring immediate gratification for long-term security, as long as she sees what you're doing as contributing to the security of the family unit.
On the third hand, if this is just a temporary arrangement of convenience for you and you've been expecting her to just be an "equal" partner as would be expected of a farang woman back home, not giving her any kind of allowance or spending money as the senior partner, then you need to try to make her understand that POV, but understand she's unlikely to do so, that's completely alien to her, so don't be surprised if she gets very upset and considers that you've been deceiving her and trying to take advantage of her. If she wants to break things off at that point I would say it's only fair and certainly practical to offer her a small severance package.
Best of luck. . .
Thanks for your input BigJohnny. I may consider giving her a couple of thousand baht to cover her mortgage, afterall if we do stay together then this would be our home or go towards buying a bigger home. I do have the concern that she may be playing the long game.....eventually I have the potential to earn a nice salary here....and she knows it.
robblok, on 2012-04-30 15:37:39, said:
Refusing is a good way to find out if she likes you or your money. Many won't try because it will bruise their ego if they find out they are not the "handsome man" they think they are.
I very much agree with this and have been practising this for many years with potential girlfriends. The only time I don't is for a few weeks of fun with someone who is obviously not gf material.
I think I will sit down with her, talk to her about my cultural expectations and negotiate. Tell her that in the future assuming we get married and have a family I will provide for everything. See how she responds, then a month or two down the line I will give her a few thousand towards her mortgage each month.
