GuestHouse

I am rather disturbed today, and have been thinking about this most of the morning instead of concentrating on work.  

During my commute this morning, I hit my first u-turn as usual.  This is a fairly high speed u-turn going under a bridge.  There are three lanes.  Two are adjacent with one going each way.  There is a raised median, then another single lane which is one way.  The exit off the main road is about 300 meters from the actual u, so cars get up a good bit of speed going, especially in the single, one-way lane.

I was in the one-way lane when I saw an old beat-up  bike in the road, so I shifted a bit not to hit it.  As I passed it, I realized that there was an unmoving man underneath.  I could not stop due to cars coming in back of me and there being no room to back up with those cars, so I went to the next u-turn and doubled back, which took a bit of time.  But the man was still there, so I stopped my car and blocked him from on-coming traffic.

The man was very still, and I thought he was dead.  But he had a pulse, even if he was unresponsive.  A motorcycle messenger driving on the other lanes over the median saw me and stopped, first asking me if I hit him.  I told him no, so he got on the phone.  Once the two of us were standing there, others took notice.

They guy was skinny man, filthy, with no shirt nor shoes on.  He had two thumbs on his left hand, and one was very obviously broken.  With us standing over him, he opened his eyes.  One pupil was pointed up somewhat, and the other had almost disappeared in the inside corner is his eye.  He would not respond at first, but then he seemed to get a hold of himself and told the other guy that he had crashed sometime during the the night.  I didn't catch if he just crashed or if a car had hit him.

The guy needed helped, so I told him, through the other guy, that I would take him to the hospital, but he refused, and got up before I could stop him (afraid of brain damage, I didn't think he should move.)  He thanked us, then got on his bike and rode off unsteadily.

I could smell no alcohol on him, so I don't think this was a drunk falling down and passing out.  I think he either fell or was hit and was unconscious.

What bothered me was that probably a thousand cars swerved to miss him (I am amazed that none ran over him), but no one stopped to help.  He obviously was in trouble.

And I wondered at this man's life.  Filthy, no short nor shoes, two thumbs on his hand.  His eyes probably were like that before, but these are things which regularly addressed within the medical system back in the west, even for the poor.  Regardless, one of his thumbs was badly broken, but he didn't seem to feel he should get medical care.

I have been bothered thinking about this throw-away man.  I come to work in a big factory.  Our employees are not rich, by any stretch of the imagination, but they live well,  I live in a nice complex, and everyone there lives well.  But this man does not.  And when in trouble, he is treated no different than a soi dog who gets hit by a car and left to rot at the side of the road.

He is gone now, but I wish I could track him down and see just how he lives, and how can his life be made better.

bendix, on 2012-03-13 16:45:52, said:

Ah - it all reminds me of the old days in Academe...philosophical materialism, or in Marxian terms, 'Base' and 'Superstructure'.  A person's opinions and beliefs being a direct reflection of their material location in the economy.  Simply put: you don't NEED the benefit; so guess what, you DISAPPROVE of it on principle.  
As for : "you're not in the UK why should you get a benefit at all" - well, that's simple as well: because getting the benefit was a promise made to the British people as a social contract when they were forced to start paying national insurance stamps back in the day.  The contract said nothing about where the citizen must live in order to receive the benefit.

bendix, on 2012-05-25 11:34:59, said:

But others have grown up in poor families and experienced something different...

My father worked hard all his life and was NEVER on the dole.  Admittedly, my mother stayed at home to look after the children, but would take appallingly paid 'home' work to make ends meet.  Being in a low-paid, manual job - there was no company pension on offer to my father and there was no way on earth he had any 'spare' cash to save for a pension!  They were considered so poor that us children received free school meals - hugely embarrassing for us children...

My mother looked after all the money as she was far more capable this way, and gave my father 'pocket money' that basically covered his 'roll-ups' (cigarettes).  Yes, about twice a year he would go to the pub.... but we never went on overseas holidays, although we did go camping around England every year for a couple of weeks.  Yes, we also had a car (my father was a mechanic), but I still don't think that was a luxury - rather a necessity living in the SE with 4 children.

Its your inability to even understand that not everyone is capable of saving money the way you describe that upsets me.

There's no way I can say this without coming across as a bumptious arrogant fool however!! due to the twist that this thread is taking I'm going to throw myself to the TV wolves.

Every week in life I will be approached by a friend ( or friends ) requesting help on various matters. Due to my long business career and contacts I'm known as being someone who can cut through he BS and sort problems out. It's my pleasure to help, and I also find it interesting. So far so normal I would say.

I live in an area called Bridgeton in Glasgow, Scots know it is a renowned rough and violent area. By definition in my daily life I mix with some seriously dangerous people, and I mix with salt of the earth types. People just getting on with their lives, and trying their best. I love living here as there is a real sense of community still here. So far maybe still so normal??

In this area there are plenty of vulnerable people, some self inflicted, some born that way, some ground down by the vagaries of life, once again so far so normal. What's my point??

UK Employment Law is not in place to protect those of us that can stand up for ourselves, it's in place to protect those that cannot. There are millions of people out there that lack confidence, education, and lets be brutally honest about it, the IQ, to work there way through life and the system without help.

We in the UK decided years ago that these people would get assistance, and I totally agree with that. I have family members who are at the lower end of the socio-economic ( and truth be told IQ ) scale. However they worked away all their lives and paid their tax and national insurance just like the rest of us. These people are the salt of the earth types, they would give you their last penny, their last crust, if you were in need. They don't need charity, they don't need pity, but they do need protection from bullying manipulating employers.

I've seen it happen, I saw my young cousin work for a whole week and go unpaid as the so called employer took the hump with his immediate boss. I had to go down and slap the head off the employer and take the wages off him. I had to do it because his Dad couldn't, he was a hard working man, a real grafter, but timid. That man was one of the greatest men I ever met in my life, and I'm not exaggerating. His greatness came from the fact that he would work every hour that God sent, in deplorable conditions, for the benefit of his family. He retired from a life of manual hard graft at the age of 63, and died 3 weeks later. Sometimes God can be cruel.

So please resist the temptation to use phrases like " man up ", don't attempt to impose your psychology on others, and understand that it takes all sorts to make a world. Some people do not have the confidence, the knowledge, the ability to go into confrontation of any sort. Some people would rather suffer abuse than speak up for themselves.

This is why we created Employment Law, so that families that don't have relatives like theblether can get help. I think it is one of the greatest achievements of my society, and it makes me proud to be a citizen of the UK.

The OP's wife is now a legally landed member of my society, she is entitled to the same consideration and respect as any other spouse, or for that matter any other member of my society. This situation that she finds herself her should not be tolerated, and the OP must take charge of the situation.

It is up to the OP whether he wants to go through legal recourse, or just remove his wife from that job. He will make the decision that is best for his family, he came here looking for advice and possibly support and now he has it. TV at it's best.

My (Thai) wife is from a wealthier family than my (British) family. She (and her family) have contributed more (financially) to me and my family (financially) than vice versa, but even if she contributed zero (financially) I would still love her.

While money is very important, there are more important things in life. My wife has been through pregnancy (and labour) and given us a daughter, and she is now pregnant again with our son (who will be a famous cricketer by the way).

My wife's (non-financial) contribution to the relationship is worth more to me than all the money in the world.

I can't believe so many of you guys are all so obsessed with money.

And that so many seem to so much resent looking after those you love.  If you're not going to spend your money looking after those you love, what;s the point of the money?

SC

This might shock some members but not all single women are peasants

I was in a 17 year marriage and my wife bore me three children. I would guess I spent about £600,000 plus during that time, but that would only be a guess, because I wasn't counting.

The day finance dictates my relationship with the women in my life I'm buying a rope..........it's just unbelievable that people can reduce everything back to money.  

I just feel sorry for the guys who say this as their life circumstances must be pretty awful

bendix, on 2012-05-24 12:18:50, said:

Divorce or death could really spoil your plan.

Thais don't have exclusivity when it comes to people being evil and cruel, and this story certainly is that, however I am always amazed at how casually cruel and brutal Thais can be with each other.

When I lived in Corpus Christi, Texas, going saltwater fishing was cheap and snow skiing was expensive- so I fished a lot and skied behind a boat.

When I lived in Casper, Wyoming, snow skiing was cheap and saltwater fishing was expensive so I skied a lot and fished the lakes and streams

When I lived in China, taxis and mass transit were cheap and owning a car was expensive, so I took taxis.  In Bangkok, I don't need a car because I can find everything I need fairly close to home.  That's not the case in suburbia in Casper or Corpus.

I find some things in Bangkok to be very cheap and others to be very expensive and that figures into what I do and how I live here.  Overall, it is possible to live on much less money in Bangkok than in the USA.  

But if I choose to live the same lifestyle as "back home", it will cost a lot more because of the high cost of goods that aren't indigenous and are taxed and marked up as luxury goods- though they would certainly not be considered luxury goods in most western countries.

Overall, I spend about as much to live in Thailand as I would in the USA or China, but live a very different lifestyle.  Not better, not worse, just different. (And every once in awhile I suck it up and spend a big wad on something I miss from "back home")

Brit1984,Bendix,I think that you should both get together and go out and get a life.

Jake829, on 2012-05-03 15:38:18, said:

if he is old enough to have a girl friend he should be able to solve this problem without asking TV members for advice.

It's always interesting how guys biatch and moan about women wanting their money, yet they rather avoid western women who are considered a bit too emancipated/independent. You get what you give...