edwinclapham

Nignoy, on Yesterday, 05:45 , said:

So nignoy, let me get this straight!!!

You get food parcels on a regular basis from an Australian Charity. I can remember your posts going back over the past couple years and you get the OAP but you also get a pension from the UK. You and you wife both travel all over the world, you own your own home but here you are getting free food parcels from Charity. How dare you claim other people to be blugers???

There is nothing wrong with the fact you own your own home or that you travel & enjoy your retirement but good people donate funds to Australian Charity's but this is meant for people in need and here you are being so righteous and abusing the system.

I spoke with an old friend of mine last night he is a Police Inspector in the Darling downs and he tells me that there is very little work in the area except for seasonal fruit picking. At least you cant get a petrol voucher because you own your home and you get two pensions. My mind boggles?????????

I am rather disturbed today, and have been thinking about this most of the morning instead of concentrating on work.  

During my commute this morning, I hit my first u-turn as usual.  This is a fairly high speed u-turn going under a bridge.  There are three lanes.  Two are adjacent with one going each way.  There is a raised median, then another single lane which is one way.  The exit off the main road is about 300 meters from the actual u, so cars get up a good bit of speed going, especially in the single, one-way lane.

I was in the one-way lane when I saw an old beat-up  bike in the road, so I shifted a bit not to hit it.  As I passed it, I realized that there was an unmoving man underneath.  I could not stop due to cars coming in back of me and there being no room to back up with those cars, so I went to the next u-turn and doubled back, which took a bit of time.  But the man was still there, so I stopped my car and blocked him from on-coming traffic.

The man was very still, and I thought he was dead.  But he had a pulse, even if he was unresponsive.  A motorcycle messenger driving on the other lanes over the median saw me and stopped, first asking me if I hit him.  I told him no, so he got on the phone.  Once the two of us were standing there, others took notice.

They guy was skinny man, filthy, with no shirt nor shoes on.  He had two thumbs on his left hand, and one was very obviously broken.  With us standing over him, he opened his eyes.  One pupil was pointed up somewhat, and the other had almost disappeared in the inside corner is his eye.  He would not respond at first, but then he seemed to get a hold of himself and told the other guy that he had crashed sometime during the the night.  I didn't catch if he just crashed or if a car had hit him.

The guy needed helped, so I told him, through the other guy, that I would take him to the hospital, but he refused, and got up before I could stop him (afraid of brain damage, I didn't think he should move.)  He thanked us, then got on his bike and rode off unsteadily.

I could smell no alcohol on him, so I don't think this was a drunk falling down and passing out.  I think he either fell or was hit and was unconscious.

What bothered me was that probably a thousand cars swerved to miss him (I am amazed that none ran over him), but no one stopped to help.  He obviously was in trouble.

And I wondered at this man's life.  Filthy, no short nor shoes, two thumbs on his hand.  His eyes probably were like that before, but these are things which regularly addressed within the medical system back in the west, even for the poor.  Regardless, one of his thumbs was badly broken, but he didn't seem to feel he should get medical care.

I have been bothered thinking about this throw-away man.  I come to work in a big factory.  Our employees are not rich, by any stretch of the imagination, but they live well,  I live in a nice complex, and everyone there lives well.  But this man does not.  And when in trouble, he is treated no different than a soi dog who gets hit by a car and left to rot at the side of the road.

He is gone now, but I wish I could track him down and see just how he lives, and how can his life be made better.

Aw shucks mate...my lassie doesn't do kindness....but I love her brutal ways...

Incidentally my Dad is returning to Thailand this year specifically to thank the hospital staff, and hotel staff for their kindness.

Among all the Thai bashing that goes on in this forum we should take the time to recognize that positive stories occur every single day in Thailand too. Thais running down the street to give you your mobile phone back, or wallet back that you have left in a restaurant. ( it's happend to me and others ), I've seen Thais on their knees attending to farang accident victims, I've seen them go the extra mile to make sure that tourists don't get lost, are safely looked after etc etc. I've seen Thais pick up my broken down motorcycle and throw it in the back of a pick up truck and drop it at the local garage for repair,without being asked, and refusing payment.

I find Thailand to be a country full of small acts of kindness every day.

My Dad met my lady last year and could not believe how gentle, respectful, thoughtful and attentive / concerned about him she was. My Dad took sick as soon as he arrived in Thailand, and my lady took full charge of him, running back and forth to doctors, hospitals etc.

The illness didn't prevent him from enjoying his holiday however he was in discomfort and pain throughout it, never a day passed where my lady did not go the extra mile to make his holiday special. He was shown an amazing amount of kindness and consideration above and beyond the normal by the hospital staff, hotel staff etc too.  

He walked into my family home, sat down and said to my Mum that he had never been shown such kindness and consideration by anyone before in his life, and told my Mum directly that if it ever came to pass that I married my lady she would be loved as a daughter by him.

No higher praise can a Father give.

Excellent topic Ed!!

My parents were from the opposite sides of the Scottish religious divide with my fathers father being Grand Master of the local lodge. My mother's father gave the sermon in the Catholic Church.

I am thus seen as being very conservative in my choices.

edwinclapham, on 2012-05-28 19:30:54, said:

@ EdwinClapham, I've 'liked' Naam on your behalf. I know how Klingons hate to be kept waiting. You can pay me back another time.

@aneliane,

TMI!

Merde...

Really, just ignore it.  

I have had significant relationships with an Indian woman, a latino/black and a Thai woman.  I am as white as white can be.

At first the staring really bugged me.  I hated being stared at.  Older people were the worst.  They would gawk with their mouth open.  I found it rude and would challenge people here and there.  Embarrassing when I think back about it

I learnt to tune it out.  And so should you before it eats away at you and affects your relationship.  The more you are bothered by it the more your GF will be.  These are people who have no input into your relationship and who you will most likely not see again in your life

In Thailand I/we get it in mainly Thai areas where there are not many foreigners.    

Just take it as a compliment.  You are interesting enough to be stared at by masses of people.  Enjoy it and smile.

samsiam, on 2012-05-28 18:46:21, said:

I said bought, not brought and missed out the R, typing error on my behalf. However it did look like you were being very disrespectful for a second then. Either way, it was a bad taste comment for something that wasn't really that funny.

edwinclapham, on 2012-05-28 16:49:22, said:

Aye.... but she won't be a left footer will she?

Oh.... Did I somehow come across as happy?

I dated quite the Spoilt B!tch a number of years ago... (a Thai girl), who at the time was studying an MA in the UK. When she met my family, one look from my mother told me all I needed to know... Wow, if looks could kill, Mother didn't like her at all but did her best to hide it !!!...  She was right of course, the girl in question was hard work and recipe for disaster on all levels... Mothers do know best I suppose, my mother had adored my wife since day one, the feeling is quite mutual and my wife often calls my mother for a chat.

One very minor issue though... The 'Mum' thing. In the West we refer to the parents of friends and our spouse by their first name, in Thailand its by Mum or Dad. My mother always tells my wife to call her by her first name but my wife simply can't bring herself to. I often see her tactically dancing around the issue and avoiding the use of her name while at the same time trying not to call her Mum !!!...
When speaking with me my MIL and FIL also refer to my Mother as Mommy and Father as Daddy !! - (but when speaking directly use names).

With these 'positive posts only' type threads, similar to smokie's 'My Thai lady is Lovely' thread, it surely means that the vast amount of bitter and twisted, curmudgeonly mysoginistic old buggers on this forum haven't got a parade to piss on anymore.

Great idea!

But back OT; my parents were of the 'you make your bed and lie in it' school of thought so any misgivings about the first Thai wife weren't passed on but there was some comments after the eventual divorce. My mum did ask if I was sure when I said I was taking on a new, Thai wife despite the +20 year hiatus since the last rodeo but since then we have started a family and visited mum more often as a family so she appears to be more accepting. Mother's do tend to worry about their boys though and a friend of mine in the US has such an overbearing matriarchal concern for who he will eventually bring to the family table (and will she be good enough) that he is running scared... through Nana Plaza, Walking Street, soi 6, etc.! He had a real sweetheart Thai student girlfriend when he was in US college many, many years ago and his mother totally despised her so now all Thai women are considered worthless. I guess being a Catholic and the family of Irish decent, she wants him to seek out a fair-skinned, red-haired, green-eyed Thai girl.

After my divorce to my first wife, I devoted all of my attention to my then young daughter. Yearly pass to Disney world, trips to Europe and Caribbean, camping, etc,
  she lived with me half the time and her Mom half the time, and we were very close.As she became a teenager she started to  become more interested in her friends, as it is natural.
  At that time I met my  Thai wife and after  about three years  of dating we got married, and have being married now for about three years.
  Initially my daughter was not very happy about my new "interest", she was never very good at sharing, and she was not about to share me with an other woman now. She would not openly come out and say it But I could tell she was not happy.
  I did not try to force the issue, I kept the peace as best as I could, and and started to include them both in activities they both enjoys , first shopping at the mall, something they both enjoyed and short enough in time for them to both go back to their power base. then eventually we started to go on short vacations and  later longer vacations, and eventually, they became very good fiends.
Now my Daughter is in her second Year of High-school, she has her own car, and a part time job, so she is pretty independent and busy with work school and friends, and soon will be going to College, but i expect that when she comes back from college, much in the way that most of as did, she will be finding her way back to me.
So II  guess the answer to these intercultural marriages, is  patience, and giving people their own space, and enough time to overcome their differences, and get to know each other.

First marriage was to a German, my mother hated her guts.

Second (and current) marriage to a Thai, she spoke on the phone to my mum for a little while, seemed to get on okay. Had to take my missus to the UK for a family bereavement, everyone in the family got on well with her, she enjoyed herself and talks to some of the family using FB, gets on really well with my brother's wife.

I remember many years ago taking my German GF home to the UK, my Aunts boyfriend thought that she would not understand him, so he was loud and spoke very slowly, he nearly had a heart attack when she spoke to him, she had visited America and studied there as well, was a great laugh watching his face.

I do think many mothers worry, one thing they do worry about is communication, lucky for me my wife works with foreigners, but this year we took her mother with us, she cannot speak English very well at all, but there were no problems, her Mum and my Mum got on great, language barriers were never there.

My parents and sisters adore my wife. I also get along very well with my wife’s family. My parents also get along very well with my in-laws.
While I was away at work recently my wife took a trip to the UK to visit my family…. They all get along brilliantly.