tombkk

Tom’ is a specifically Thai gender identity where lesbian women dress, act and speak in a masculine fashion

Surely "Tom" is just a common Thai abbreviation of the term "Tomboy" used widely to describe females that act or dress in a masculine manner. In my experience just because a Thai girl is labelled a "Tom" doesn't indicate that she's actually a practicing lesbian.


My wife's niece is a classic Tomboy, boys clothes, boys hairdo etc even to the extent of having feminine "girl friends". They're not actually indulging in a lesbian relationship, they are just teenagers having a bit of fun. Thais seem generally to be very accepting of this and similar deviations from the accepted "norm".

While I have the greatest sympathies with the victims and their families, I feel this article is just sensationalist BS starting with the OTT headline. In my experience the Thai BiB have a reluctance to investigate anything properly without financial motivation and don't limit their incompetence exclusively to lesbian murder cases as this article suggests....

MAJIC, on 2012-04-12 00:09:16, said:

I completely disagree. It's up to you, personally myself I am polite and welcoming and happy to contribute to a party, say B200 per head.

Even if you don't actually enjoy the visit, I feel it's my obligation to help my wife and be a reasonable host, especially at an important time like Song Kran.

Do not vacate the premises unless you're sure your wife will kick them out herself, you may find them all moved in more solidly when you get back 8-)

And all within reason, depends on your patience, tolerance and generosity. When my limit's been reached, then it's appropriate to let everyone know their welcome is up. Best to do this during the daytime, give a few hours' notice and treat one last round of food (not booze).

Yes you might have to put up with wifey pouting but I'm sure you've learned to deal with that by now.

If you need to be very firm, then do so, but without showing anger or even irritation.

Once this instance has passed, teach your wife about the crazy farang custom of people calling ahead, or even god forbid asking if it's convenient rather than dropping by. If you make it clear this is important to you, she should take it seriously, but of course that doesn't necessarily mean she'll be able to enforce it wrt her relatives.

If you take a really unpleasant hardline about this, don't expect them to be supportive if you're ever in need in the future.

Personally I find the extended family of my children's mother to be a joy and a lifesaver in times of need. And they help keep their daughter in line for me too, usually taking my side in any disputes. Her father still doesn't know we're divorced after four years though, no one dares tell him the truth 8-)

tombkk, on 2012-04-10 02:30:01, said:

True but watching someone drive a car and then doing it yourself are two entirely different things, same with landing a plane. Add in to that the stress of knowing her husband was ill and perhaps dying. Amazing lady.

cooked, on 2012-04-11 00:56:41, said:

I have PR, for 17 odd years.

You get two books:

1. A small dark blue covered book nearly same size as a passport (but it's not a passport, although it is stamped with visa entry and exit stamps and your original passport is also stamped in and out at the same time) and it says on the cover in English 'Cerificate of Residence' meaning permanent resident. There is no 3 monthly reporting or similar when you have the PR book. It's issued by the Thai Immigration office and when it's full of stamps immigration issue you a second book but this time it has a white cover. The only time you need to do anything with this book is:

• When it's full, get it reissued, as above.
  
• Take it to immigration to get a exit and re-entry permit stamp inserted, if you wish to depart /return to Thailand.
  
• Show it at the airport on departure or arrival for stamping along with your home country passport.

It can be revoked on two scenarios:

• Get a criminal record in Thailand or anywhere and it's cancelled
  
• If your outside of Thailand for 364 days in one block period you have no problem. 365 days or more, in one block period, and it's automatically cancelled and there is no process of appeal

2. You also get a red covered book which is your Police Registration Book issued at a local (bigger) police station. This is so that the local police have some record of farang in their area who have permanent residence.status  You must go back and refresh your recorded address 12 months later, but the police, at their discretion can tell you, 'all OK, now come back in 3 or 5 years time to refresh the address' The notation they put in the book clealry indicates when you must next refresh the recorded address.

Folks you have PR do NOT get a Thai ID card.

Folks you have PR are also expected to record their name in the normal dark blue covered Tabien Baan (household registration) book for the address where you actually live.  You do this at your local amphur office. When this is done, because you show the PR book you do get issued with a Thai ID number but it does NOt mean that you have citizenship and it does not lead, automatically to a Thai passport, which is another very separate process and you cannot use this to ask for a Thai ID card.  The Thai ID number inserted in the Tabien Baan has some further words which indicate to the  government staff that you have PR status.

Re the Western culture posts.......

I would say as a rule of thumb Western culture should rightfully come second to Thai culture if you choose to marry a Thai and live in Thailand.

On the other hand you need to learn how to discern between Thai culture and Thai taking the p*ss.

Quote

Smile, be polite, enjoy your beer and get used to it. Maybe you'll be randomly staying with some of them on future excursions.

tombkk, on 2012-04-12 08:45:34, said:

Although this is not a western country, I believe that it is still considered normal here to make arrangements in advance before visiting and staying with relatives.
Certainly if a Thai wife's family is coming for a stay, her Thai husband would know about it.
If a Farang's Thai wife's family arrive, she will have prior knowledge. If it is the case that she doesn't consider it necessary to inform her husband it can be only for 2 reasons.
1. Her husband's viewpoint is unimportant and he will have to go along with her decision. Like it or lump it!
2. She knows that it is likely to cause arguments, so she puts off the unpleasantries because she is unable to refuse the visit from the family.

In my experience, Thai family members will only show up without making prior arrangements if not intending to stay overnight.

Don't be so anal about it, have a blast with the family over Songkran, spend a few thousand baht on food and drink, You may end up having a superb time with them.

Cornichon88, on 2012-04-10 20:49:05, said:

You're wrong.  Period.  And more and more governments are saying so.  Guess you'll have to learn to live with it, eh?

RickBradford, on 2012-04-07 08:18:31, said:

I do also feel bad for the suffering of the Vietnamese.  But do you really know Vietnamese families, or are you making a political statement?   To politicize a tragic, senseless war is despicable.  Those who died on both sides were patriots.

I say this because I did know Sgt. Avery's family, although I never knew Allen.  I am from his hometown.  The return of his remains adds a bit of closure to America's veterans, and a lot of closure and pride to his family.

Ah.. Come people...  Where is your humor?..  I have noticed that regardless of what is reported in this forum..  There is always someone that has nothing but negative responses..  Get a life.. or perhaps just leave the beautiful country of Thailand.. and its mostly smiling people...   I back that up with 45 years  in and out of the country...   and for good reason..  We have our home there.  

I wonder if 'digging toes in sand, watching every sunset' is a new visa category. If so, form a queue to the left, I'm first.

It takes all sorts to make the world, and accepting that this guy is most likely in violation of visa requirements, in the pantheon of criminal offences in his case it looks low.

You never know what this guy may do in the future, maybe there is a Pulitzer prize novel waiting to burst out of him.

There is a more sinister level of overstaying, the sponging malcontents that hang around looking for good hearted victims. I won't bore you with the description, you see them every day.

I have zero empathy for them, these are the same guys that walk into bars penniless all over the world and shamelessly sponge, and when they get a bit of money, they disappear.

Grass them up? No, give them the time of day? No chance.

Everywhere you go in the world you get people that fall off the norm of society, in as much as I understand that they may affect visa policy in Thailand, they are a minimal problem in the scheme of things.

So I say live and let live, but they won't be living out of my pocket.

The other category, the self funding overstayers, I couldn't care less, if they want to risk being jailed and deported every day then up to them. We all know that if you leave yourself susceptible in Thailand bad things can happen, and these people are doing exactly that. I don't wish ill on them, but equally I don't want to hear their pathetic squeals when they get caught.

When I retire and find my rainbow, I want to know it's my rainbow and I can keep it. So  I will be staying on the right side of the law.

Beetlejuice, on 2012-04-03 01:46:40, said:

Why would you want to do that? Would it give you immense satisfaction seeing the guy handcuffed and carried off to some detention centre with no hope of  paying off his overstaying fine? Is this what you would class "better for him"?

Seriously sad when people take the moralistic view for something so trivial imo!

I am in the December 2011 cohort of recently submitted applications.

I just wanted to compare and contrast my experience with Camerata's original post, in a  couple of areas.

Like Camerata, I turned my application in during late December. I did not go myself - my processing agent submitted the packet for me.  It was reviewed for completeness - she told them that I was missing the report of criminal background check from my home country  - in my case, the USA - but that i had requested that document.  They accepted my application with this deficiency, simply noting that i should bring that document in, once it arrived.

About five weeks later, I was called in for my  first interview.   Basically, the information in my entire packet had been reduced down to one two-sided piece of paper - which was part affidavit of fact concerning my personal details, and partly declarations by me - concerning the facts being true, and my understanding of the process steps. The official asked me most of the questions in checklist fashion - in Thai.  A few entries on the draft were wrong - at the end, she went away and corrected the errors - and brought back the corrected document.  I then had to sign the affidavit at the bottom of the back side.  I was then sent to another part of the office to be fingerprinted - two complete sets.

Then - nothing further happened until last week, when an invitation letter was sent to my office, directing me to appear for  an interview at 9:30 am on 14 March.  So - that is what I did.  I went alone this time, bringing my passport, work permit, and the invitation letter. .  I picked up a queue number, and waited.  When they called my number, I went to designated booth - they took my invitation letter, checked it off against a big ledger book, and then asked me to return to my seat in the waiting room. After about ten minutes, an assistant in civilian clothes motioned for me to follow her.  She handed me a pink square of paper with the number "15" on it.

I followed her, and ended up in a small room with two officials at desks, and two sofas to seat the applicants - plus one chair in front of each official's desk.   There were seven applicants in the room - very tight fit.  One in each chair, dealing with the officials, and five seated on the sofas.  They  call your number in sequence, and you go sit in front of the woman Sergeant Major, who has a big ledger book.  She asks you many questions about your age, nationality,  home address, employer, etc. - all in Thai.  She also takes your passport and compares it to the ledger book.  She then has you sign your name in the ledger book, alongside the pre-printed answers to all the questions, which you just answered.  What  figured out was - this entire step is simply to weed out "proxies" that have been sent to represent applicants.   Evidently, some applicants have sent "ringers" in, in place of themselves, to "ace" the interview.

You next move to the other desk, where the officer (I think a Colonel) takes a photo of you, and then prints the photo onto a stack of about ten sheets.  The sheets are interview score sheets - with rows and columns in a matrix , with headings at the top and left.  I noted from the conversation between the two officers that i was the #10 American applicant for this year.

They then take away your pink number slip, and replace it with a blue number slip - same number.   You are then led down a hallway to a waiting room - which is full of applicants.  As I said, I was number 15 - and there were about ten people in the room when I got there. While i waited, about another seven applicants came in - and the same number were called out ahead of me. We spoke among ourselves a bit - of the 15 applicants with whom I crossed paths, one was an American lady, one was a German man, another two were from Singapore - and the rest were split about 50/50 between Taiwanese and Indians.

They called out one applicant about every seven or eight minutes.  When it is your turn, you go out - hand your number slip to an attendant, and they place you in a chair right outside the interview room.  The applicant who preceded you then exits a door down the hallway - and the attendant motions for you to enter the near doorway.

You go in, and there is a long set of tables placed end-to-end together, with a white tablecloth over them all  - this is along the far wall.  Then there is a single table facing the long table - this also has  white tablecloth - and a chair behind it.   This is where you will sit.  The space between your table and the long table is about four or five meters.   At the far left end, there was video camera set up - they videotape the interviews.

Seated at the big table were seven officials.  Three were in tan uniforms - the other four were in civilian coat and tie.  Two (in uniform) were women.   Only the two women, and two of the men ever spoke to me.  The other three just sat and observed and smiled.

They have the interview scoring sheets with your photo on top, from the earlier step.  They go through a series of questions in Thai - and they are making scoring notes all the time.  My guess is that there are ten scoring categories, and they award up to ten points per category.

The question included simple personal details - what's you name, where do you live, where do you work, what is your job position.  Then they asked about my family (I applied on the basis of business, but I have a Thai wife and two sons).  As I am a business owner, they asked me to explain about the activities of my business. They then asked me about where I'd traveled in Thailand - and then asked me if I liked Thai food.  I said yes - and they then asked me to name Thai menu items that I enjoyed.  So - I named about four dishes - and one woman then asked me if I liked fish.  I said yes - and a man then asked me to name a few types of Thai fish.  I could only think of tub-tim and pomfret  - so I named these.  They were still waiting for more - so I then said that I eat the fish, I don't talk to them, so I don't learn their names.  They all laughed, and dropped the subject.  They next asked me about my charitable contributions - and I have none.   No points there - but they maybe gave me a point or two for saying that i gave money to my wife and to my employees, and encourage them to "tamm boon" - and I think Thais know better than me anyway, where to put charitable money to good use.  They next asked me about what i did on my free time - I told them i work mostly, but i do play pool (9-ball) on a league team - they found this acceptable - and that I used to breed Siamese Fighting Fish (since they seemed to like fish!).  They seemed to like this answer.

Then - it was all over.  They motioned for me to depart via the far door.  The whole interview lasted maybe seven or eight minutes.  They were very friendly and polite - I think they are used to people being very nervous and frightened.   They smiled and laughed a lot.  I had to ask them to repeat some questions  that I did not understand well  - and they immediately asked in a different way, using easier words.  So - they adjust the interview to your Thai language ability - making adjustments at the edges.  And - if you are answering, and you stumble for a word - they will suggest a word, within context - to help you along.  But - I think it is certain that you must speak at least a reasonable level of Thai to get through this interview step.

One note:  Although i do not normally "wai" Thai officials, I did wai at my entrance, and at my departure - before sitting down, and after standing up.  I am convinced that this is a scoring point - and there is  no reason to give away easy points.

You walk out of the interview room, and you are finished.

SS

It was quite amusing really.

As soon as I published the story on Pattaya One, the phone calls began......I told them all that the story would not be pulled so they moved on to my Thai partner. A "top of the tree" Thai called him and we made the decision to pull the story.

At the end of the day, protecting my businesses is far more important than a single news story I'm afraid. It is being well covered elsewhere now so not such a big deal that it is no longer on Pattaya One IMO