slipperx

Hi;
In a recent article I read, a distinction was made between the saying by a female Thai to a Male expressing the emotion of love. The two sayings are

Chan Rak Khun
Chan Rak Ter (Ther)

In the case of the article the girl was talking to a foreign male but I think it applies to both foreign and Thai males equally.
Both expressions mean I love you and I believe the first expression is the more formal expression.

I would like to know the difference between the sayings and when it would be appropriate for a Thai girl to use each.  For instance is there a difference if the male is older or younger than her, if she loves him more or less will she use a different expression and so on.

I think the difference is a small one but possibly very important.  For instance would you want your girlfriend to express love to you if in a committed long term relationship in a formal way - a bit like saying 'I love you Sir' in English rather than 'I love you darling' maybe
Any help appreciated

Need some help here folks.

I have three kids 7, 6 & nearly three.  I have a retirement visa which expires in March.  I do not have sufficient funds at the moment due to fraud, to support applying for the retirement visa to be continued.  I do have sufficient funds to apply for a visa based on supporting my children here.  I am not married to the mother who is unable to earn sufficient to support the children and in any case for reasons I will not go into here, she will likely be subject to an arrest warrant shortly.  The children live with me most of the time, I pay for their schooling and everything else.  Again I will not explain why but I need to move home from the house I rent here at the end of March but will apply for the visa before then so hopefully that will not be a problem.

So the question is is it possible to change from a Retirment Visa to a Family Support Type visa on renewal.  What documents am I likely to need to support the application beyond:
Passport type Photos
Bank Book Copies 3 months showing 400k plus in bank since January
Photos of me & kids in house
Documents from court confirming I am legal father
Copy of house rental agreement (in area covered by the immigration bureau I am applying)
Letter from school confirming I am paying the school fees.

Thanks

I am looking to refurbish the bathroom in my Bangkok condominium.  Basically I need the existing sanitaryware & tiling removed and new tiling and sanitaryware fitted.  It is a pretty small job but does anyone know of someone suitable as  the condominium builder wants too much for the job - I think paying a big commission to the condo management staff who are recommending him.

Please PM me with contact details if you happen to know someone suitable. Thanks

Last night went to Fuji for a meal with my two boys (aged 7 & 5).  After my 5 yr old finished he said ' Right let's go' .  I remarked that I had not finished my drink and that his brother had not finished eating and that in fact HE had not finished his drink either.  He replied that his brother hadn't finished his drink either and I asked what that had to do with anything.  Ensuing was a discussion on manners and responsibilty.  This evening we came home and my 7yr old starting mopping the floor (I didn;t ask him to) and he said to his younger brother 'Hey you're not helping and I am doing the floor.  It's your responsibility to lay the table' - which he did.  Later he was making ice lollies and spilt the juice going into the ice lolly thing.  I asked him who was responsible for spilling the drink and he looked at his brother then back at me (me shaking my head) and slowly, almost imperceptibly pointed to himself.  I said 'never mind but clear it up' which he did.

A mundane story that got me thinking about how Thai's generally push the blame for their own misdeeds or failure to act onto someone else.  Remembering back a waitress I was employing was talking about a potato but using the word tomato instead.  After she finished I said ' Actually that is a potato not a tomato just for the record'  She replied 'Oh I have a sore throat and that is why ,,,,'  trying to save face.  Now the real issue here is one of acceptance of responsibility for the things they do and it seems to be a real problem amongst Thais.  You will often see a motorcyclist do a U turn in front of you from the left hand side and glare at YOU as if you did something wrong, or  any one of a million other examples.  The scrambled egg burnt because the saucepan no good, this or that can;t be done because the machine no good (then you show them how to use it), etc. etc.

The problem is that if you can pass off responsibility for the things you should do but don't, every time then it becomes a habit, culture even, where no-one accepts responsibility for their actions and as a result think everything they do is right - even though it is patently wrong.  

Isn't this a bad thing?  Or is it some Buddist issue where you can do what you like in this life as long as you understand you will be punished in the next one, so what the hel_l do as you please and become essentially totally self centred and selfish?

Dear Readers
This is a sorry and cautionary tale - read only if of a strong disposition!!  Reposted as previous post disappeared.

I expect to be called a fool but want to expose a few truths about the ease with which you can lose every piece of property you own.  Own in this post refers to non-freehold rights over property since obviously with just a very few exceptions Thailand does not choose to allow non-thais to own freehold property - the reasons being many and sinister.

There are many angles but I will only cover here those that have affected me.  My background is that of a property professional from the UK who moved to Thailand about 10 years ago.  I purchased a foreign freehold condo in Bangkok - this being one of the safest property assets to buy, has been mercilously saved from being taken from me although the ex-girlfriend who I allowed to stay there for 5 years rent free after we split, and having been on good terms all that time completely stripped the place when she left including the fitted wardrobes as thanks for my generosity and yes there was a rent agreement with schedule of furniture.  

Anyway that is not the crux of this story.

I moved to Phuket and married a lovely girl.  I didn't marry formally with papers because if you are formally married and the woman wishes to buy a property then you have to sign a document saying you as a foreigner have no rights over the property and basically have given her the money. Not a good situation in my book.  Anyway we had the unofficial ceremony and over the next 7 years had three of the most beautiful children imaginable - I love and adore them to bits.

During this period I purchased two sizeable pieces of land worth about 30 million baht between them.  I used some family trust money for one piece and have a foreign partner in another.  These pieces were held in seperate Thai companies all properly set up with various Thai shareholders, loan agreements etc. to cover the land.  Everything set up by two different lawyers who had done a pretty thorough job

.I also puchased a home held in the name of my wife with a 60 year lease assigned and registered at the land department in my name.  I also purchase a house for refurbishment and, to help a dying friend out. another house which was converted to a restaurant as my wife wanted to try running one. (I had the idea that it could be sold or leased when she got fed up as most Thais do with anything requiring any effort.)

Everything was running pretty smoothly with me unaware of the Tsunami of problems about to befall me.  After opening the restaurant a few months ago my 'wife' began acting a little strangely.  Firstly eating out late with the staff, then going out drinking with one or two and then not coming home afterwards leaving me at home with the kids sometimes and taking them to stay with other staff whilse she went out other times.  

My wife is not a bar girl and never has been by the way.  Everyone thinks she is charming!!  Anyway for some reason, I forget exactly why, I was checking up on the land parcels and it became clear that the land was no longer in the company name.  It had been transferred to my wife's name and subsequently she had taken out a loan with a right of redemption on the land.  Basically that is a loan registerable at the land office on the back of the Chanote with a fixed period given to repay the loan and interest.  At expiration if not repaid the loan becomes at large and the property becomes owned by the lender.  The same thing had happened to the other piece of company land.

I wondered how this had happened realising of course that my darling wife had cheated me.  In fact she had gone to the Company Registration office armed with a copy of my passport and forged my signature to effect the complete change of the company structure leaving her as controlling director, transferred the land into her own name at the land office as she could then sign in the name of the company and then with the land in her name taken out a loan with a money lender at a rate of interest between 3 & 5% per month.  

Interestingly the maximum allowable interest chargeable under law by an individual or company (excluding credit card companies for some reason) is 12% but that does not stop the Thais.  The loan agreement simply fails to record the amount of interest payable.  Try arguing that one in court and hope for a solution in less than a decade!!

Anyway I was led then to check my other property.  The lease on my house had been cancelled by using just a passport copy and a forged signature and again a loan with right of redemption taken against the freehold in her name.

The lease on the hosue to be renovated was never registered as we needed a mortgage from the bank to finalise the purchase of the house I am now living in (at the moment) since her family failed to pay back an ealier loan.  As there was a mortgage on the property no lease could be registered and of course the bank will only lend money to Thais so I could not register my lease or borrow money with a lease already registered on the house.  Nevermind I thought we are a family unit, happily married (though not legally) and with three beautiful children, and a worry free life ahead of us.

It turns out the bank mortgage has been repaid and again money borrowed on the property with a registered right of redemption.

The restaurant was bought in her name - another Chanote just a few months back.  She told me she would register the lease after the Restaurant licence was granted from Bangkok (BS as it turns out) and after spending 3 million doing the place up and 4 million buying it, I now find that the property has been registered in the name of two Thai ladies who appeared the other day out of the blue demanding interest from me as wifey hasn't paid.

So here I am no property left in my name - about 60 million baht's worth, 3/4 of which supposedly protected by either a lease or held in a company name.  

To add to it all my wife had jumped town on pretence of sorting out business in the development into which she has supposedly sunk most of my money without my knowledge., leaving me with the three kids having made sure she took the kids passports with her.

So what would you do in this situation bearing in mind this concerns about all the money I have, I thought I had it mostly protected.

I am now taking care of three kids 7, 5 & 2 on my own, was trying to take care of a new bar/ restaurant at the same time with the police constantly asking for tea money or for this that or the other police 'benefit' event and my wife refuses to pick up the phone.  Oh and to add insult to injury I suspect she is having an affair with a low life who recently came to the bar to work as a chef.  To clarify we have been living together nearly 10 years and most of that time staying together so she was not having an affair before syphoning off the money (i.e. that is not the reason for the 'theft').?

What would you do in this situation?

As an aside a friend of mine has been trying to get his passport back from his wife who took it supposedly to get a visa which has never materialised.  His wife has been sorting the visa renewals out for years with no problem but has now disappeared.  Imagine the above situation with a missing passport - would that change what you could do?