mauGR1

TommoPhysicist, on 2012-05-24 18:09:29, said:

thats a valid point ,if you have  a 200 Sqm penthouse  overlooking the chayo praya and you let a woman stay there with you
eating the best food and drink and going to restaurants
bars
clubs
using the car that costed a few milion
holidays or short trips around thailand  etc

within the course of  that relationship ,she will  have benefitted (costed ) more than a girl who got shagged for a 1000 thb note
so ,by that definition ,even though a man can say ,hes "never paid for it " etc
he actually HAS  paid for it ......in another form

Berkshire, on 2012-05-23 13:07:30, said:

Yes exactly and everyone please notice that for once I want to talk about something in a positive light, NO ONE CARES

Come on people who constantly accuse me of "Thai bashing", "moaning" or "complaining", I would love to talk about the sweetness and beatitude of Uncle Boonmee, of the dreamy poetical world of Apichapong Verasetakul. Please let's share the pure contemplation of the magical world he creates!

The first link in post 4 brings us to another book by T.  M. Hoy; "The Nature of Religion", which, it is said there, explores the horror and madness of human beliefs..........  And available as a low-priced kindle elsewhere.

How about the madness of an eye for an eye, and other such wishes not uncommon in expression on this site, from some of those who perceive wrongdoing.  Our own mercy and compassion could allow whatever karmic experience is due, to balance the scales---- in its own time!  It is difficult for a human to judge whether karma is being resolved, or whether it is karma initiated.  The same applies to of those who hurl condemnation and punishment freely, as conditioned by cultural upbringing.  If the kneejerk response of some of us here is karma initiated,  watch out.  What goes around, comes around.  I express no malice here, but encourage the few to get a grip and live from the heart.

Think yourself lucky it wasn't the local massage parlour you went into.  You may have heard all your personal likes and dislikes discussed all over the place.

Thats crazy nonsense .....  You have no expectation of privacy when you shop in public and they did nothing dishonest that you mentioned.  Why do you feel it's dishonest for a store to tell another customer what You or I or some other random person likes ? And why do you think you have some expectation that they should call that classified information ? ..... Once again it would be the same result in the USA they would just be more tactfull about it , being in a sence more dishonest by talking about it behind your back. ..... innocent customers ? That kind of implys that they took your innocence by harming you in some way ..... they did not.  You felf uncomfortable because you are uneducated as to Thai culture , thats your fault not theirs.

    You are defensive rather than listening to me and the other posters and learning , we are trying to help you understand not trying to be critical or hurt your feelings.  The reality of the situation is you are culturally speaking in the wrong to feel used or feel like you were treated rudely and especially to think your privacy was somehow invaded.  I'm sorry to report to you that it's not us who gets to decide whats rude in others countries, thats a choice they get to make not you or me.

Heng, on 2012-05-15 19:58:00, said:

And I bet most of them are western.
I spend most of my life being a control freak. insurances for everything, investments everywhere, , spinning my wheels.
Insuring for the future.5 years here, 10 years there,Then one day I looked in the mirror and an older man looked back at me.
WTF, What happened? what was wrong with that mirror?
There was nothing wrong with the mirror, what was wrong was with me, in getting my self worth from providing for others I had forgotten to provide for my self.
I thought to myself, if I was to die tomorrow, how would the world be affected, and the answer was, except for my Daughter, not at all,
So I gave it all up, and started spending more time with my daughter, sisters, and family I had not seen for a long time.
And we are all the happier for it
And when my time in this world is over, no one would remember me for the money, insurances, and cars, and expensive cloths ,
They will remember me for the times we had together.
Perhaps the Thais need to provide for the future more and perhaps we need to think of the future a little less.
as Bigjohnny  said, "balance"

ginjag, on 2012-05-10 15:19:39, said:

A real man is one who behaves with dignity and decorum, and is above loutish violence against people weaker than himself including women. He has a compassionate soul and is not selfish. He knows to walk away instead of losing his cool. Sometimes when something is over, you should just know it is over and walk away. A real man will walk away and pick up the pieces of his heart and start again, hoping for better luck next time. A common lout will rage and smash things and hit the girl because she doesn't love him any more.

NaMah, on 2012-05-08 05:30:55, said:

Not full yet.  There's still room for you


SC

I agree with those who suspect age plays an important role, along with ones financial situation.  I have always felt that our 20 year age difference is a major plus.  My experience and wisdom form the bedrock of the relationship, while her youth and beauty brings energy and vitality to what might otherwise be a boring old rock.

I was never desirous of a woman to provide me with money or offspring.  I have enough of one and no desire for the other.  I have found that a degree of vulnerability and dependence can work to the benefit of both parties and can help to bring about a synergy of sorts.

Having nothing invested and one foot out the door doesn’t bode well for a lasting relationship.  I grew up in an academic family where my father worked and my mother raised the kids and did volunteer work.  So for me it does not seem strange that I would be expected to support my wife.

I would argue that many get in trouble not because of age or money but because of a simple inability to communicate in any meaningful way.  Ignorance in a relationship is not bliss and projecting onto another, what or who you think they are, is like stepping into a busy intersection with your eyes closed.  You may not get run over, but it is only dumb luck if you don’t.

Things would be much easier when girls dressing like a dude would be simply a matter of taste or style, not more not less. Thailand has toms and dee's the west has butch/femmes, which would be fine if they would not be used as some sort of "political statement". Both of them create stereotypes and exclude gay people even more than they already are. I never really got this, gays want to be accepted within the society, but refuse to follow some rules that would apply to everybody else in the society.

There are plenty of people out there that fancy themselves as Zen Masters when it comes to relationships. Some actually are, but not many. These days there are plenty of people coming out of long term marriages and relationships and they are like lambs to the slaughter once they go back into the dating game. There are plenty of wolves out there waiting to pick them off.

I have dated dozens of women over the past few years in the UK. That's not boasting, it's fact. I have been highly disconcerted at times by what I have heard from these women. Even allowing for exaggeration there seems to be a weird expectation of relationships out there.

I'm taking nothing away from the contributors to this thread, I am quite prepared to believe that everyone is being sincere and honest in their opinion, in their experience. However I can guarantee you that out of the 100+ women I have dated in the UK in the last 10 years no two were the same when it came to their attitude to relationships and sexuality.

Some were looking to have their confidence built ( re-built ) as mentioned by BigJohnnyBKK, and there was a time that I enjoyed playing that role, then I decided that it was doing nothing for my emotional health, helping others over their problems and with me metaphorically releasing them at the end, it always had the same net result. I had an emotional investment in these ladies and at the end I ended up alone. Not good in the overall scheme of things.

The idea that women do not enjoy sex as stated by Aneliane is alien to my experience, in fact I would say it is borderline laughable. That's not to say that I haven't dated ladies who had a particular attitude to sex which was " reserved " but I haven't dated any that out and out hated sex. On the whole I have found ladies in the UK to have a healthy sexual appetite, made more healthy by being treated correctly, and being treated correctly was the key. It wasn't the same for every lady. Some ladies would swoon at a bunch of flowers, others would laugh in your face and bin them. Is that not part of the art of seduction? Finding out your what your new partner likes???

However Aneliane is of that opinion so she must have good reason to believe it, so up to her. I will not contest that point with her. I will say though in her defence, I have dated ladies from many nationalities, mainly European and African, as well as a fair few Chinese and other Asian ladies. I have found many Thai ladies to have a peculiar attitude to sex. My first Thai gf did not enjoy sex, that was off putting. She was a stunningly beautiful lady but that lack of interaction meant that she was a peacock, beautiful to look at, not much use for anything else, except maybe be a fancy feather duster.

My second Thai gf was a lot more relaxed, and that was a relief. I still had to dance through the hoops that decent Thai ladies like to put you through, however at the end up the relationship was healthy an equal. I use that word equal as I have found with another couple of Thai gf's that they are unusually servile. I didn't understand why that would be the case and being inquisitive as I am I had to go look as to the reason why. So I asked the two experts, Google and Bar Girls. Google took me into a wonderland of Thai women being servile to their husbands, traditionally prostrating themselves in front of their husbands before going to bed, never initiating sex, etc etc. The Bar Girls kind of giggled at that, said it used to be true, and that some old fashioned girls are still reserved in that area. They then open up to their complaints about Thai lady / Farang male sexuality which I have no doubt just about every male member of TV has heard before. If we have all heard it from multiple sources then the chances are it's true??? Huh????

There are roughly 4 billion adults in the world, I reckon that is roughly the same amount of opinions we would get on successful relationships if we had to ask them all. I don't have time for that, I'm trying to figure out the mind of my current gf and that keeps me busy enough.

If someone could write the Ultimate Guide to Relationship Success it would be the greatest selling book of all time.

Just saying

Payboy, on 2012-05-05 21:28:52, said:

"Dope will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no dope."—Freewheelin' Franklin. - Fabulous Furry Freak Bros. circa 1970ish

mauGR1, on 2012-05-03 22:09:10, said:

Then at least he knows where he stands and can move on with his life.  I for one will not compete with anyone else for a woman's affections. Not man, woman nor beast.

F1fanatic, on 2012-05-01 15:27:05, said:

No, you're off base here.  Animal activists covet some moral high ground I've noticed, but when push comes to shove they choose animals.  I don't like to see animals in pain, but given that there is a finite amount of labor hours dedicated to helping creatures, spending it on a specific animal that just happens to have big expressive eyes and the ability to seem to smile is indicative of a particularly human failing, which is to project humanity onto animals.  They absolutely feel pain and they absolutely have emotions and some kind of development, there's no doubt, and I don't relish seeing animals in pain.  At the same time, you'll note the massive lack of Khlong Hia Rescue NGOs, Save The Rats groups and the like - why?  Because dogs are cute and have been bred over generations to integrate to a degree into human society, and that's really all there is to it.  You like dogs, that's great.  I value a balanced ecology in the sense that we shouldn't eliminate any one species and I also don't enjoy seeing animals in pain, but I see no reason to expend valuable labor and capital on keeping a bunch of mangy mutts alive when that could be spent on people.

You like animals more than people, that's fine, but you should own up to it and say it for what it is.

In my experience those who are the most vociferous in their denial often care the most, and are sensitive and insecure, hiding behind a wall of bluster and denial.