mca

A young guy has been sent to prison for stealing a car. It's his first time in the joint and he's really scared and starts crying. An old convict walks up and asks why he's crying. The boy replies that he doesn't think he can handle prison life.

"It's not so bad" says the old convict. "Do you like baseball?"
"Yes" replies the young guy. "A lot"
"Well you're gonna love Mondays. We all go down to the exercise yard and have a mini baseball league. The winning team gets extra privileges like an LCD TV in their cells. Do you like BBQ?" ask the convict.
"Yes" replies the young guy" I love it" in a brighter voice
"Well you're gonna love Tuesdays. We all go down to the exercise yard and have a great BBQ cookout. All the steak you can eat. Do you like movies?
"Yes cries the lad happily ."It's my favourite hobby watching a good movie"
"Well you're gonna love Wednesdays. We all go down to the exercise yard and watch a first run movie on a big screen. Just one more question. Are you a submissive homosexual?"
"No!" replies the lad, utterly shocked.
"Well, you're gonna HATE Thursdays"

There was a thread running  about Pattaya Memorial Hospital. Seems to have vanished. Things getting too libelous?

Cheers

Just got back from a trip abroad to Qatar and received my phone bill from AIS. Usually 1000 baht but this one's 6000. I had the AIS roaming package to call Thailand but only used it about 3 times for a maximum of 5 minutes a time for when skype on my PC couldn't connect or the like. I haven't got a smartphone so its not as if I was downloading data all the time. I've heard the horror stories of people getting 100s of 1000s of baht bills but 5000 just seems excessive for about 15 mins of calls and about 10 sms.
Being a techno-dolt I'm assuming when I return to LOS then i automatically return to my local tarif. ie I'm not calling Udon Thani from Khon Kaen and getting charged as if i'm still roaming.


Any feedback much appreciated.

Whenever I fill out an application in the part where it says " Who to contact in an emergency" I always put "AMBULANCE". I mean, I love my mother but what on earth is she going to do?

A computer once beat me at chess but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

You don't need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

Whoever coined the phrase "Quiet as a mouse" has obviously never put one in a microwave.

In my experience most people don't act stupid- it's the real deal.

Never tell a lie unless it is absolutely convenient.

The lottery- a tax on people who aren't very good at mathematics.

Why is it that the newsreader on the evening news always says " Good Evening " and then proceeds to tell you why it isn't?