Kodan, on 2012-02-21 04:21:58, said:
Ajay
You sound like you are relatively new to Thailand so its good that you are seeking the advice of others. I like everyone else here has heard sin sod go for 20k to 300k and in some cases much much more. My wife before we were married was offered 1,000,000 bt for marriage and Ive heard other women now asking for 1m bt which is obsurd. I was lucky she loved me and wasnt just chasing money.
The woman you met sounds nice and I wish you the best what ever you do so I will give you my thoughts for you do with as you please.
A) She doesnt speak english and though you seem like a nice guy to her she really doesnt know you or you her. You understand this but her parents are pushing for a commitment. This clearly demonstrates that this girl is under pressure from the parents to marry you so there will be a farang in the family to take care of everyone. Never believe that YOU are MORE important that her family. She will marry you just to take care of her family. Doesnt mean she wont grow to love you or take care of you but dont under estimate the pressure she is under. On the other hand ... in the past and currently there are many aranged marriages so if a girl gets to choose her husband ... it may not be a bad thing.
If you do become engaged you will want to discuss the sin sod before hand so you will know what you are in for ahead of time. I agree with most here. If you do pay a sin sod it should be around 100k. If there is more to the story such as ex husband, kids, less than stellar past or what ever reason she isnt married you would have negotiating room. Im all for not paying more than you should but keep in mind the more you are willing to give the more proud you wife will be of YOU.
C) Many farang new to Thailand want to marry the quiet, soft spoken, demure, subserviant asian woman they have come to know. Dont fall for this!!! If you think Thai women are quiet, shy, soft spoken etc.....You have never pissed one off!! If you have never seen or felt the turmoil caused by a beautiful 5ft 100lb pissed of wife hell bent on chaos and distruction with YOU in mind........ummmm yehhh ...welcome to Thailand. You will date a kitten and marry a tiger.
D) Dont forget the cultrual differences. She will do things that make no sense to you but make perfect sense to her. There will be times when you have to bite your tongue when staying at her house. Its better to ASK her why she did something and learn about the lifestyle.
1) She will see and REMEMBER EVERYTHING
2) She will judge you based on this
3) Study the language. It will earn you some respect with her family and in her village.
4) If she is truely poor .. she may see you trying to take care of her like nice hotels, restaurants etc as wasting money or not being good with money. However you buying nice things for the family ...completely different
5) Expect a double standard. You can both do the same thing but when she does it ... its different.
6) Always give her your opinion if she ask a question. "Do/Wear whatever you like" will be taken as indifference or lack of caring for her. Always tell her what you think she should do.
All this being said.... Thai women are wonderful creatures that will make you life a joy. My wife is the most wonderful woman I have EVER known. I am a very lucky man. Good luck to you ... take is slow....pay attention and dont let you heart over run your head.
You sound like you are relatively new to Thailand so its good that you are seeking the advice of others. I like everyone else here has heard sin sod go for 20k to 300k and in some cases much much more. My wife before we were married was offered 1,000,000 bt for marriage and Ive heard other women now asking for 1m bt which is obsurd. I was lucky she loved me and wasnt just chasing money.
The woman you met sounds nice and I wish you the best what ever you do so I will give you my thoughts for you do with as you please.
A) She doesnt speak english and though you seem like a nice guy to her she really doesnt know you or you her. You understand this but her parents are pushing for a commitment. This clearly demonstrates that this girl is under pressure from the parents to marry you so there will be a farang in the family to take care of everyone. Never believe that YOU are MORE important that her family. She will marry you just to take care of her family. Doesnt mean she wont grow to love you or take care of you but dont under estimate the pressure she is under. On the other hand ... in the past and currently there are many aranged marriages so if a girl gets to choose her husband ... it may not be a bad thing.
C) Many farang new to Thailand want to marry the quiet, soft spoken, demure, subserviant asian woman they have come to know. Dont fall for this!!! If you think Thai women are quiet, shy, soft spoken etc.....You have never pissed one off!! If you have never seen or felt the turmoil caused by a beautiful 5ft 100lb pissed of wife hell bent on chaos and distruction with YOU in mind........ummmm yehhh ...welcome to Thailand. You will date a kitten and marry a tiger.
D) Dont forget the cultrual differences. She will do things that make no sense to you but make perfect sense to her. There will be times when you have to bite your tongue when staying at her house. Its better to ASK her why she did something and learn about the lifestyle.
1) She will see and REMEMBER EVERYTHING
2) She will judge you based on this
3) Study the language. It will earn you some respect with her family and in her village.
4) If she is truely poor .. she may see you trying to take care of her like nice hotels, restaurants etc as wasting money or not being good with money. However you buying nice things for the family ...completely different
5) Expect a double standard. You can both do the same thing but when she does it ... its different.
6) Always give her your opinion if she ask a question. "Do/Wear whatever you like" will be taken as indifference or lack of caring for her. Always tell her what you think she should do.
All this being said.... Thai women are wonderful creatures that will make you life a joy. My wife is the most wonderful woman I have EVER known. I am a very lucky man. Good luck to you ... take is slow....pay attention and dont let you heart over run your head.
Ajay,
Excellent advice! however, whilst my experience is very similar we differ on one point, I married a Tiger that has become a very contented, SECURE, happy kitten who is the best wife I can imagine. I gave her 100% trust and security, I think some posters on TV miss the power of this and wonder why they get the negative experiences.
OP if she turns out to be "the one" be brave enough to treat her as an equal and your life will probably be great, like all things in life you'll get out what you put in.




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