bifftastic

Can't we just eliminate the french and order out?

I'm a greedy little bastard so my answer is no.

Tigs, on 2010-10-03 02:00:57, said:

Thank you Tigs!!
As some one has already stated there is a lot of 'holier than thou' attitude of TV, which I find counter productive! And you are clearly right, at 28 I'm hardly a child anymore!!! But of course what does 'a child of 28' know about anything?? Not wanting to blow my own trumpet and sound egotistical but I've been through a lot (3/4 years homless plus a whole rack of other stuff too numerous to mention) and probably have more life experiance than some people twice my age!! Thats not to say I know everything and dont need to ask for advice from time to time!!

I would start lobbying your parents to get her sent back to school.  Point out that her future career opportunities will be severely limited if she does not finish High School & go on to University.  

A 16 year old should be worrying about passing the A-Net or O-net or whatever it is, not managing a factory!

For those of you expecting dramatic interventions, please  look at  the type of vessels deployed;
HTMS Pattani is a Chinese built offshore patrol vessel and the HTMS Similan is a Chinese built supply ship.
Dhakar isn't so far off the mark when he references a fishery patrol vessel, although the Thai OPV is larger than the typical  fisheries patrol craft in use in Australia and Canada and carries more lethal equipment, plus a helicopter. The Thai vessels will most likely be used in a deterrence role and not an interdiction role.

I was having a chuckle at the reference to the USN and Thai navy reference. The training is sort of limited and more for PR purposes. The reality is that one has to have similar equipment and  operating procedures to  really train efffectively. The NATO navies interchange  command officers on a regular basis. Equipment is usually compatible and  the navies  have a good knowledge of each other's capabilities. It is common to have Australian and Canadian  naval personnel exchanged. A point of trivia is that Australia, the world's leader in non violent boarding techniques, provided valuable insight  and expertise to the  US and Canadian navies. One benefit of getting innundated with illegal immigrant and fishing boats, I suppose.

I believe that the Thai vessels are going to serve in  the CTF-151 which is currently commanded by a Turkish Admiral. Although backed by 25 nations including Russia, with the Chinese acting autonomously, the Thai response is due to some pressure being brought to  bear. Countries like Australia, Canada, the Netherlands and Denmark were fed up of subsidizing the  marine cargo routes of countries that benefit from the Gulf of Aden traffic. They told countries that were benefiting from the activity to step up and contribute.

It's about tme that the Thais send  a contribution considering the fact that some of the  fuel imported into the Kingdom and rice exported goes along this route. It is unfair to expect countries like the Netherlands (submarine), Australia (personnel & warship), Canada( 3 vessels) to subsidize the  economies of those that benefit most from this sea route. . None of these countries has to be there since there is no real economic interest and they should not be expected to piss the millions away on protecting the interests of other countries.

bifftastic, on 2010-09-28 00:36:26, said:

Artifical, hyper-polite Thai response, ostensibly male, created in the 1930s.  I use it as a way to indicate to people that I can really speak Thai, haha...its use in many situations (in civilian life) is ironic.

Chunky1, on 2010-10-01 17:24:13, said:

While I completely disagree with the above statement, I have to concede that there is some truth to what the chunks is saying in the OP.  There's actually been studies done which confirms social behavior related to class differences.  It's called "Power Distance."  High power distance countries (and societies), such as Thailand and Mexico, accept that there are people of higher social standing and treat them accordingly.  Doesn't mean they like it, it just means that they accept it.  In other words, the people of low social standing accept their lot in life, and they accept that those of higher social standing deserve to be where they are.  Convesely, those of higher social standing believe the same, that they are deserving of their lot in life and expect that those below them will treat them accordingly.  While some of you may find this distasteful, understand that this is not a Thailand-unique phenomenon.  It's a social pecking order, if you will, and maintains order...sort of in an unwritten type of way.  Do you think this is completely foreign in the west?  Try the US military.  A junior enlisted guy would never think of calling a General by his first name, even out of uniform.  Western society as a whole certainly isn't like this, but certain institutions are.  

As a westerner, I'd certainly treat the parking lot security guard with the same respect that I treat the provincial governor (well, not exactly but close).  But I concede that I would have to adjust my behavior if said security guard was under my direct employ.

RueFang, on 2010-09-29 19:04:29, said:

Too true, living here just a tad different from holidaying? Nothing makes ANY sense at first, they appear to do everything bass-ackward, in triplicate, and then you need to go and photocopy the lot just for good measure?!?!    I won't bore you with the many almost insane procedures & hoops they'll have you jumping through, you can have a surprise or two, on me!  

Any half-way decent school will assist you through it, better ones pay the fees too. As already mentioned, don't think its as easy as getting your TEFL and then just walking into a job! That info is somewhat outdated. It doesn't half help if your face fits too, your age will help you there, they'll figure you'll be able to relate with the Sts more easily. In fact the opposite is true, those little monkeys will see you all fresh-faced and enthusiastic, figure it's open season! You'll have to be very stern to begin with (while still remembering 'sanuk' to keep the little blighters entertained, confused? You will be!), but can relax later.

The 'face fits' rule often applies to your qualifications, documentation too. However, once in never allow yourself to figure the process is complete and relax, far from it. Spot checks are held regularly, and should your credentials be found lacking, you're out on your ear.

Don't worry, most of it will sort itself out as you progress, I too came here on a wing and a prayer without the 1st idea what I was going to do with myself, teaching being the last resort. That was 10yrs ago! However, I must agree with those who've posted teaching won't be for you if you didn't enjoy school; SO true. I put up with it, a job pure and simple, a stop-gap until I found something better? 4yrs with gritted teeth! No, teaching's a vocation or career, you have to love it.

The hours are ok, though I would rather have had our three UK 'terms' annually, rather than the American-style two 'semesters'. Summer break's a cracker! The wages suck, they're abysmal, no better term for them. Usually around the 30-35k/month mark, which really puts you on almost subsistence living. You CAN afford to go out occasionally, but have to pick & choose not only your events but venues too. 90b vs 50b for a beer suddenly puts a huge hole in the evening's budget!

Chiang Mai was recommended? I prefer it to Bkk by far, but don't forget the amount of back-packers in the area prepared to work for peanuts just to extend their stay a little further? Salaries consequently drop for all. Some 8-9yrs ago a fully-qualified, Aussie certificated (proper...real!) teacher-trainer acquaintance of mine was working in probably Chiang Mai's premier language school, 'London House', 20hrs/week, 20k/month. At the same time, I was working in Udorn thani, state school, fan rooms, 45-55 Sts/class, 14-17hrs/week, 30k/month. I rest my case, though he DID have the luxury of a/c in his 10-12 Sts classroom! Needless to say, it wasn't long before I found him a job at our place  

I couldn't disagree more with the frightened old men on here "It'll all come to no good, DON'T do IIIIIIIIIIITT!!", NO sense of adventure, the old farts! As long as you've a few quid behind you (couple of thou should do), then why in bloody hel_l not?? Work a bit, kick around a bit, and undoubtedly learn FAR more in a few short months than 'Chicken Little' there has in his entire stay! Especially if you manage to work at a govt/state school, you're right in the thick of it, 99% Thai T's, they LOVE to bring you up to speed on culture, etiquette etc. I'm still so grateful to my formative years here teaching, honestly believing it was the best introduction to the country I could ever have wished for.

It's challenging, invigorating but mostly downright exasperating attempting to figure your way around constant roadblocks here! Mostly you just want to bellow "But WHY can't I??", to which they'll softly and calmly respond "Cannot". You have to learn to accept that one, especially as an employee. The subject can be broached a few days later and discussed, but don't bother at the time, you'll get absolutely nowhere.

The ONLY important question remains; is it worth it? YES!! So what if you fall flat on your face, lose everything and have to borrow the airfare home from the Embassy? All you've really lost is a couple of years, your initial outlay...and...nothing else! Against the priceless experience(s) gained? A drop in the ocean. Caution; becoming used to this land & lifestyle could easily end you up in no-man's land culturally and physically? Many come here, can't stay, but end up detesting their home country to a far greater degree as a consequence.

Yes, horror stories DO happen here, MANY of them! A fair percentage of those flying home daily weren't sharp enough to keep either their wits, or their wad about them!! As suggested read the stories, but ensure you read between the lines too, most folk don't want to admit they were so unbelievably stupid in signing over all their worldly possessions to a comparative stranger? Well, anybody with half a brain wouldn't, would they?! You'll find a recurring theme in all these so-called horror stories, naivety on a horrific level!  

Me? I came here with nothing. Done myself proud, I've still got most of it left, LMAO

FarangBuddha, on 2010-10-02 10:38:44, said:

Your little quip about someone with 1,000,000 baht net worth is doing or living in Thailand is not well -taken. People can do whatever they please and can enjoy life with a sense of adventure. You do not have to be a wealthy idiot to have fun in this world. Someday your luck may run out, no matter what your plans where. I do agree life is full of consequences, but life is also full adventure and taking the chance. You sound like a person who would only make a bet in card game if he had 4 aces.

It's an interesting topic and there are certainly some elements in Chunky's post I agree with. The smile/politeness is as Chunky describes, merely the mask which is portrayed to world to avoid confrontations. They are not necessarily happy inside.

I also agree with his supposition that there is a definite hierarchy among Thais which even extends into the lower ranks of society. I've noticed many times when I've gone to a restaurant with my girlfriend who herself comes from a poor region of Thailand that she never smiles when ordering food. And her choice of dish is always preceded by "Aow" which means "I want" rather "Kor" meaning "I would like". I get the distinct impression every time this happens that she considers a waitress to belong to a class lower than herself.

It's also true that they only trust a few select people in their lives and even if you happen to be her husband of many years, or just a lover, it doesn't automatically mean you'll join that select group.

However, I don't make choices about who I treat as equals. Everyone is my equal until they give me cause to think otherwise.

In my experiences with my nieces and nephews and the kids I have taught at school, I have found that kids minds are fertile grounds for learning; sort of like empty hard drives. They are hungry to learn and they will go wherever there is least resistance and most stimulus to things fun.

It takes tough love, dedication, and an occasional swat on the bum when they do not respond in the manner that will help them get along in society at a later age.

The nephew of my Thai wife was a little monster when I first saw him. He did not listen to anyone; he swung objects at anything and broke, cracked or damaged anything in his path. He had tantrums when he did not get his way. You know the routine; he was a proper spoiled brat.

Now, after some tough love and a few swats on his bum, and lots of hugs and eye contact, I am the only one in the family that can bring him to attention with a simple. low voice using his name. He stops, makes eye contact, and immediately behaves like a proper little gentleman. The Thai side of my family is simply amazed at how much he loves me and always wants to show me what he drew, or whatever it is that he has accomplished.

I agree. Fathers and Mothers by blood or court documents; Parents by teaching and coaching, and then building a friendship that will last forever after the parenting has ended, and they set out on their own.

I do not see adults taking a serious interest in their own offspring. They are no more than an afterthought.

Sad.

Well there have been a few people have tried to give some helpful advice and others that display the usual Thai Visa holier than thou approach.

My first question is why is the girl not at school? The mother should know that this is a vital part for a successful future for her daughter in Thailand.
Leadership and how to display it is a difficult process, there are lots and lots of resources on the web that will give you food for thought. You complain that the your step-sister  does not like you, well remember that is part of life, not everybody can like you and although difficult to accept just let it go over your head.  Don't let it bug you just because she doesn't say 'Morning' to you, maybe she is like many women and just doesn't do mornings

I assume that she has the job because it is a way of putting money in her pocket and that meets with the approval of her Mother. Your Father should know 100% that that is a road to failure. I know the owner of a Hotel who has a daughter who 'works' for the family business. He knew his wife expected the daughter to work but also knew it was going to cause trouble, as he needed correctly trained capable people working for him, so he invented a Job for her. It sounded really important, but just allowed her to take extended coffee and lunch breaks with her friends and go out for 'meetings' which invariably meant going to Swensens and doing some shopping. Everybody happy! Invent a more 'important job' and get a proper office manager in there supporting you. You could make her Director or VP of Information Technology, she can sit using Facebook all day or get her to 'research' all competitors on the web and she can monitor their activities and market strategies, or some other such bullsh*t. Make her responsible for selecting the employee of the month award and awarding a 1000 baht shopping voucher for Tesco's. Anything to make her feel important, give her face and importantly keep her out of YOUR face.

Good luck, speak with your dad wherever he is, skype is your friend!

keep us updated.

asiawatcher, on 2010-10-02 10:59:20, said:

The ruling military junta in Burma is simply contemplating removing their franchisees and taking over the various businesses directly. The Thai trading partners like Chavolit care not with whom they are in negotiations, nor would I imagine the similar trading partners in China up in Yunan.  And the bankers in Bangkok and especially in Singapore are just happy to see the money from the sale of assets from within Burma sitting in their banks and not circulating within Burma developing and helping the peoples of Burma.  Apart from the building of the new capital in Naypyidaw, little of the money earned from the sale of any resource legal or otherwise, has stayed inside the country.  Until the world banking system puts pressure on the banks holding the treasury of Burma nothing will change.  But that is not going to happen as the global banking system is happy to profit from any source.

-i miss 47% income tax
-i miss 19% tax on goods and services
-i miss paying taxes enabling my government to send soldiers in far away countries to fight "insurgents"
-i miss sorting the garbage into 5 different containers
-i miss buying heating oil
-i miss paying 480 Baht per hour to our housekeeper
-i miss paying 50% of our housekeeper's social insurance and health insurance
-i miss the muttering of my wife when the housekeeper goes on 6 weeks paid vacation
-i miss icy roads in winter
-i miss changing the tires of my cars twice a year
-i miss that shops close at 18.30 hrs sharp
-i miss that in Thailand nobody tells me when i can water my garden and when i can't
-i miss the bureaucracy and months long fights with the building department when i want to build on my land or add
-i miss the honesty of policemen who will arrest me if i offer them 200 Baht because of a traffic offense
-i miss the exorbitant prices when i take my cars to the workshop for service or repairs
-i miss paying 25 times the road tax and 10 times insurance premium for a car

One is either a gentleman, or one is not.

Turning it on or off, like a software feature, depending on who one's dealing with means that one is really just playing at being a gentleman.

How to behave? Ralph Waldo Emerson (I think) had it right: Imagine yourself in the other person's shoes, and treat them accordingly. Or something like that.