cup-O-coffee

wana, on 2012-04-30 13:34:35, said:

Alright, but you are agreeing with someone who has hijacked a thread.

So what is the difference from being able to politely interrupt and say, "Excuse me, but I came here to be alone. I hope you don't mind, but I'd appreciate it if you would respect that." If they don't then keep moving on and eventually you will find yourself on a mountain top swatting at the flies.

Allowing yourself to be subjected to things, where you have a choice not to, is making you out to to be in the wrong (NOT him / her / them) by allowing it to happen with your silence and acknowledgement through body language. You are simply feeding their ego. Just let them know. What is the big deal? Your solitude comes with a price, and sometimes the cost is letting people know vocally and politely.

This thread is about questioning the difficulties and challenges of finding a friend. Bendix has hijacked it with his disagreeable attitude and turned the entire OP around towards talking about people that you will rarely encounter or be subjected to if you have half a brain and a small bit of politeness and courtesy.

Why do people like this whine they want to be alone and then put themselves into the thick of it and act like the turf they chose is theirs and theirs alone? Ya wanna be alone? Go find a mountain top. Ya wanna be alone in the thick of it? Get used to the variables and be nice and most of the time they will respect that. Maybe Bendix should be the one to sod off (as he eloquently put it to another poster) and quit interrupting very legitimate and thoughtful responses to a very legitimate and realistic quandary about not wishing to be alone all the time, and simply being able to have a nice conversation and cold one with a kindred spirit.

Now, back to the OP!

bendix, on 2012-04-27 12:51:57, said:

Lighten up. Yes! I would initiate conversation with random men back home when the setting is designed for it. When you are out in public and at a public place anyone has a right to acknowledge you politely and make a polite attempt to strike up a conversation if the setting is ripe for it (e.g. out front of a mom and pop shop where there are tables and geezers sitting around having a cold one, or a setting where people are able to sit near each other and enjoy the elements.

Some people simply like to get out once in  awhile and enjoy conversing in their language with others who speak that language. I am not describing an idiot who singles you out and it is clear that their approach will make anyone uncomfortable. Usually eye contact and a friendly nod is enough to get the message across that you wish to chat or to be left alone, depending on the reaction of the other party.

Use it or lose it is what I say. Some times my brain feels like it is atrophying because I am around simian chatter all day and the context of 90 percent of that chatter is so base, unstimulated and devoid of anything worth listening to. It is truly refreshing to sit around and listen to others speak of things that make sense and to learn things you did not know had you not been there to listen to them. Even throwing in a word or two to stimulate the conversation brings pleasure because if you don't keep your mind sharp and test what you know against others, then what is the use of existing?

If you want to position yourself in the field as a target for a polite invite for chat, then perhaps you should put a placard in front of you that tells people to leave you alone, unless you are polite enough to let them know you are not in the mood for it. Otherwise, they will approach you. That is just the way of positive and happy people who are getting out of the house for a bit of fresh air and to get rid of the cabin fever.