Forethat

West Ham won 6 nil,this in its self could be classed as Trolling.

She wanted you to be tested after visiting Thailand a few times. Sounds like a bright girl.

Old guys who come here after retirement and a failed marriage or two really have little idea what it is like to be young in Thailand.  It is not their fault per se, but is reflected in their perspective on all things Thai.

As a young guy, I think the OP should just get on with living his interesting life and rack up as much experience as he can, while he can.  Not much he can expect to gain from these pages in my opinion.

Even my own experience of being young in Thailand is of little or no relevance as it was so many years ago and that world no longer exists.  Sure the reverse culture shock, the hormonal haze, the heightened emotions, the thrill of adventure, the overwhelming sense of self is not that different I suppose but the specifics have all changed.

I say go for it and enjoy the ride.  Even if things don’t work out the way you hope, you will have learned some invaluable life lessons.

you sound like a good time.

On another thread - the one about TV members' partners' origins - one poster, mca, took umbrage with another poster's opinion and ridiculed his grasp of English.
Now, I agreed with mca's sentiment regarding the other guy's opinion, but was it really necessary to mock the man's English, whose mother tongue was ever so clearly something else?

This is a bit of a bugbear of mine - the seeming arrogance of some of those whose mother tongue is English towards those whose grasp of the language isn't as good as theirs.  

I think, instead of ridiculing their language capabilities we should actually be grateful that they are contributing in a language that is foreign to them, on a forum that is mainly occupied by those whose mother tongue is English - - - - well, we shall see if it is.   I do wonder how many TV members, whose mother tongue is English, are capable of writing and conversing fluently in a second or third language.

(Next poll will be a demographic of which parts of the world we all hail from)

I feel prety much the same as you Ian.

I had been living and traveling in Thailand quite happily for several years before I settled down got a computer and found this site before realizing what a terrible place this Thailand is  

When I hear both on here and in real life about some of the debacles that occur between westerners and their Thai spouses it makes me query my own normal life as abnormal.

" So MCA, what'd you get up to at the weekend?"

"Nothing special mate. Needed a new telephone so took a stroll down Tukcom and then had a picnic at Ubolratana Dam on Sunday. How about yourself?"


" Well, the wife accused me of having a bit on the side on Saturday morning and went for me with a kitchen knife. After I'd been stitched up and had a blood transfusion I had to report to the police station becuase she'd filed a report saying that I hit her. On the way to the cop shop I had an accident and because I was drunk did a runner and hid in a ditch for 3 hours. Then on Sunday I was kicked out of our house due to the fact that without my knowledge the missus had remortgaged the place to pay off her gambling debts and hadn't paid the repayments for 6 months. Oh and her "cousin"is in fact her Thai husband and she's pregnant by him. Pretty quiet really"

mca, on 2010-09-16 17:32:27, said:

Sounds like you know my pal story.  

Forethat, on 2010-09-10 15:27:33, said:

Some of the recreational activities for expats on here are a source of endless amusement. I can imagine some of the guys here going to visit some tattooed thug in jail crying crocodile tears with them over their 30 years for a heroin conviction. It's like the lifetime channel for men.

I am completely obsessed by this new feature and check my points constantly. I once pathetically begged for a greenie, but now that I'm in the 'excellent' category, am too proud to stoop to begging.

From the outset I've mostly been respectful of other posters, sparing, allusive and fair in my criticisms, thoughtful in what I post, minded my spelling, punctuation and formating and gone to great pains to avoid using those awful emoticons.  As such, point system or not, how do I improve on posting perfection? It's not fair!

Also, I've noticed that certain emotional topics, like the perennial red/yellow slugfests can be gold mines of greenies, once you've sussed out the audience and post appropriately. I've been tempted to go digging there, but decided it would be just too easy. Where's the sport in shooting fish in a barrel (or roping a 'girlfriend' at a go-go bar)?

Then there are those that get points just for showing up. While mothers are a legitimate voting bloc, here on TV, as a practical matter, they are a bloc of one for one. Whatever happened to 'tough love'? As my mom is not computer savvy, it's not fair!

Honest greenie whores with no helpful mothers or friends are left with little option but to spend hours honing their submissions, gauging member sentiment, and studying up on the most opportune times to post. It's exhausting and it's not fair!

What I'd like to see is a hair-pullingly complicated system where there are check boxes of (-)5 to (+)5 points on a whole host of subjective and objective criteria like spelling, punctuation, wit, grammar, relevancy, pathos, helpfulness, etc and where the weight given to each mark depends on the reputation level of the giver, which in turn varies from category to category. For example, those with high marks for wit should be given greater weight when judging the wit of others. If it makes everyone as nuts as I already am, well, then that would be fair.

Thules, on 2010-09-04 12:03:26, said:

I have visited made several visits to Dutch prisoners in Bangkok. I will probably do the same for this guy. And I also visit foreigners in hospitals and help out with dogs at the local temple. What's so wrong with being kind?

Jimbo, on 2010-09-04 11:17:22, said:

Would like to pick up this argument here and for philosophical reasons suggest op to ask Mustafa his views on criminals and criminal acts, and ask about sharaya law and the views on criminal acts in his country ?

As we say in england " i wouldnt give him the steam off my p*ss" i do wish him a pleasent stay though...................

Forethat, on 2010-09-03 22:26:41, said:

In Gospel in Holy Script they write - go and visit friends in jail;out of compassion
There are Christian groups who do it
Bacpackers from Khao San Rd. go there.
You old farts dont,because you are finished as human beings; old,sclerotic,feelings only for bottle&pussy.
shame on you!

The FIL helped himself to a 270k car. You know that Sin Sod bullet you happily thought you had dodged? Well, think again.

Asian women, born and brought up in Asia, apart from the few that are thoroughly Westernized, marry for reasons of which 'love' is but one, and only a minor one at that. These other reasons include: security, desire for family and motherhood, societal expectations, family expectations (and eventually, family pressure, and finally, family ultimatum) and companionship.

When a Thai woman moves in with a Westerner, he might assume that she's embraced the Western notion of love and companionship divorced from all those other notions. She, her family and her social circle (and yes, it's a collective) assume it's the man that's embraced Thai notions. She expects to make major compromises and adjustments, but not on the core issues of filial piety and visibly meeting the expectations of her social circle.

Look at it from the father's perspective (and perhaps applies even to the gf): OP's been sucking at the teats of the family cow for 6 years. He refuses to buy the cow, sire offspring or materially secure the cow's future for when she'll be all dried up and of no use to anyone. What's she to do if one day the man just buggers off, or, god forbid, dies in a car crash? It's crude thinking and not the way it should be, but that's the way it is. In case you haven't noticed, Asian women are different from Western women. I read on TV how so many western men have come to Thailand seeking a different kind of woman, someone gentler, more attentive to their needs. Well, to a large extent, it's a package deal; you can't pick and choose only the traits you want.

She was probably giddy about the prospective new car and while talking about it may have got herself cornered into promising her dad the old one. They, in their subtly devious Asian ways, held her to that and she couldn't think of a way out; she concluded it would be easier to wrangle the OP than them. Besides, she figured, after 6 years, what's her take-home?

Granted, I've made a lot of assumptions here, but isn't that the ThaiVisa way?

I'm not saying she didn't do wrong. I'm saying the OP and his gf/gf's family may have had different ideas about the nature of their union and this was never properly trashed out, in which case, the OP is partly complicit in creating the situation he finds himself in.

The OP's feelings and interests should be paramount to her. Perhaps, under different circumstances, they would be. The circumstances may need to be that they have to be properly married and for him to have successfully convinced her that he's with her for good and that what's his is also hers. When everything is both yours and hers, then woe betide anyone who tries to take it away from the plural 'you', she would not let it happen.

I hope the OP and girlfriend find a way past this incident. When it comes to relationships, it's hard to say what would constitute a no-turning-back deal breaker. Whatever the case, I think the OP needs to confront the situation head-on. Calmly and politely, without accusations (there's time for that later), demand a clear-cut explanation. Then map out a way forward both acceptable and face-saving for everyone.

Good Luck.