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About scottiejohn

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  1. Use of Overseas Credit cards

    Please be careful with statements like that. My previous response was regarding UK card authorisation. Which Country system are you talking about. It all depends on the "chip&Pin" system/Country/Authorisation System you are talking about. A straightforward three attempts at the wrong PIN at a "Chip&Pin" terminal needs no connection with the Authorisation centre, it is in the (UK) chip. There is no feedback/handshake. I suggest you also differentiate between the "Gateway" Authentication Codes and the "Caustic" Activation Codes (NB applies to UK Only). (Only 2 digits (letters or numbers but not both) are fed back on a terminal. Gateway is different for online transactions after the handshake.
  2. I see the "Nancy Appreciation Society" are in full swing again. I assume the rest of us Plebs are included in "others". Is there going to be a statue to her outside the new building? (so some of us can throw rocks or less solid matter)
  3. Worst Joke Ever

    They look a right bunch of "coconuts"! (oops I can't spell c***&)
  4. Worst Joke Ever

    As my wife and I were driving through a rural town in Ohio we saw a theatre sign advertising; Tonight only...‘MELVIN THE MAGNIFICENT JEW.' Curiosity got the best of us. The place was packed. The lights finally dimmed and out walked an elderly man in a robe. When the spotlight came upon him he removed his robe and stood before us wearing nothing but a yamaka. He had the largest p*nis anyone had ever seen. HUGE! He walked over to a table lined with walnuts. He picked up his manhood with both hands and smashed all the nuts to bits. The place erupted in a standing ovation that lasted well after Melvin left the stage. Twenty years later we were driving through that town again and we saw the same sign. Tonight only...‘MELVIN THE MAGNIFICENT JEW.' We couldn't believe it. The place was packed again. When Melvin walked out and removed his robe. We couldn't believe he looked exactly the same. He hadn't changed a bit. He walked over to a table lined with coconuts. He picked up his tremendous manhood with both hands and smashed all the coconuts, raining milk and husks on the audience. A ten minute standing ovation ensued. After the show we went backstage to meet Melvin. "Twenty years ago you smashed walnuts. Why did you switch to coconuts?" Melvin told us, "Eh. My eyesight ain't what it used to be."
  5. Worst Joke Ever

    A man arrives at the pearly gates and Saint Peter is not expecting him. "I'm sorry sir. Are you sure you are supposed to be up here?" "Of course! I certainly don't belong down there," said the man. Saint Peter goes through his book again and even cross referenced his social security number but there's no record of him. "I'm sorry sir. There seems to be a mix up. Have you done any good deeds in your life?" "Of course I have!" the man said angrily. "How about that time that I got that old lady's purse back from the biker gang that stole it? Then I ran over all their bikes with my car so they couldn't harm anyone else." Saint Peter is frantically flipping through his book. "I'm sorry sir. I don't have any record of such a heroic deed. When did that happen?" The guy said, "About a minute ago."
  6. Amazon purchase

    I have a couple of solutions where either the younger under butler runs out from the pantry or one of the parlour maids opens the door and does a striptease at the main door. It speeds the butlers progress and of course grabs the delivery chaps attention and slows them down. The other solution of course is just to send the chauffeur or private jet to collect the parcel direct.
  7. Worst Joke Ever

    You are quite correct! Google has nothing to do with what the wife gets from me- I hope!
  8. Worst Joke Ever

    and said "Thanks Officer, that is so kind, what brand of Tobacco are you offering?" or "Thanks Officer but just fill and roll them with straight tobacco, I don't want done for driving under the influence of drugs"
  9. Amazon purchase

    Are you suggesting that a "Postal Delivery Operative" (cannot say mailman any more) is capable of a. Reading an address correctly b. Finding said address correctly c. Leaving contents in a secure dry area or waiting at least 1 minute for you to answer the door Also remember that if you want to make sure the large breakable Item comes in multiple smaller pieces clearly mark it is fragile. And I am not just getting at Thailand! FedEx of course stands for Finds Every Delivery Except yours or Flings Every Delivery Expertly over your wall
  10. Use of Overseas Credit cards

    How and when did the PIN get locked. How many times did you enter it? I assume it was a chip and pin terminal you/they were using. Or had you caused a PIN error earlier, which seems the more likely scenario. If it was a PIN error it would show up on the terminal as PIN ERROR before handshaking. All other errors are transmitted back to the terminal after the terminal/issuing bank authorisation centre have completed a handshake (exchanged info). If it was any other problem other than PIN the UK authorisation centre would have issued a 2/3 digit code back to the Thai terminal where the operator would translate/decode these codes which tell the operator the reason for the decline. (NB; This is the UK system, I cannot vouch for any others)
  11. New Visa Agency at Promenada Mall

    Uh! A Farcical statement! How many Government Overthrows/Military takeovers/U-turns have happened in the last 70Years in Thailand because of protests or perceived protests?