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About scottiejohn

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  1. Worst Joke Ever

    A lady was looking for a turkey but couldn't find one big enough. She asked the stock boy "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied "No they're dead." A potato and a sweet potato were playing on the playground. The sweet potato told the potato,"Hey, I just found out I'm related to you." The potato said," No you're are not!" The sweet potato said back,"Yes, I yam." The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout. Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, "You're terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I'll see to it that you get a huge bonus." "Forget the bonus," the turkey said, "All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?"
  2. Worst Joke Ever

    What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot   What kind of tan did pilgrims get at the beach? Puritan.   What does Dracula call Thanksgiving? Fangs-giving.   If the pilgrims came on the Mayflower than what does the teacher come on? The scholar ships.   What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot.   How do Rednecks celebrate Thanksgiving? Pump kin!   Asked to write a composition entitled, "What I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving," Little Johnny wrote, "I am thankful that I'm not a turkey."
  3. Worst Joke Ever

    What kind of music did the Pilgrims like? Plymouth Rock   If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims   Why can't you take a turkey to church? They use FOWL language.   Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive? It had 24 carrots.   What happened when the turkey got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him!   What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo? A turkey that can pluck itself!   When do you serve tofu turkey? Pranksgiving.   Who doesn't eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey because it is always stuffed.   What did baby corn say to mama corn? Where's popcorn?   Why do the pants of pilgrims keep falling down? Because their belt buckles are on their hats!   Why did they let the turkey join the band? Because he had the drumsticks   What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? "If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!"   Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY   What did the turkey say before it was roasted? Boy! I'm stuffed!
  4. Worst Joke Ever

    Since it is Thanksgiving time of year;
  5. Worst Joke Ever

    That's what happens when you use google translate!
  6. What has that response got to do with the OP.
  7. 3.0 tremor hit Chiang Mai before noon

    I'M not so sure now as my fumbles seem to have become more like rumbles to everyone else! Sent from my MotoG3 using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app
  8. Correct except they are Gold Diggers delivering coal dust! They are just undermining the system!
  9. 3.0 tremor hit Chiang Mai before noon

    An I thought the misses was over reacting to our bedroom antics!
  10. Worst Joke Ever

    A drunk in a bar pukes all over his own shirt, which was brand new before he came in. "Damn," he says. "I puked on my shirt again. If the wife finds out, she’s gonna kill me." "Not to worry," says the bartender as he sticks a $20 bill in the drunk’s pocket. "Just tell her someone puked on you and gave you some cash to cover the cleaning bill." So the drunk goes home and tells his wife about the guy who puked on him. She reaches into his pocket and finds two twenties. "Why are there two twenties?" she asks. The drunk replies, "Oh, yeah, he crapped in my pants, too."