I apologize if this has been asked before. I searched through this website and Google, but kept finding articles on official paperwork and Sin Sod. I couldn't find much about the courtship process and cultural expectations and timelines.
In America, it usually goes something like this:
1) Meet online and communicate on the website 1-2 days
2) Exchange phone numbers and chat a few times
3) Arrange a phone call. Converse and set a meeting place and time if still interested.
4) Meet a few times
5) Hookup for a few months
6) Move in together for a year or two
7) Get married (or separate)
I started looking on Thaicupid a few weeks ago. I was looking for High School educated and above women aged 35-45 who were willing to. relocate to the US. I am 49, very active, in good shape, with a good career. Immediately after signing up, I was inundated with messages. After a couple days, I disabled my profile and contacted four of them who generally matched my criteria. Initially all four appeared legit, and each seemed to have reasonable reasons for seeking marriage with a foreigner (children, divorce, age).
The first lost interest in me relatively early in the process. That left three.
I believe the second was a bar girl. 42. Extremely pretty. Two kids. Little education. Good grasp of the English language. As much as I hated to, it seemed safer to move on.
The third (40) had a cosmetics job with work hours that seemed consistent with her description. I also caught her mother looking over her shoulder several times (her mother was always present in the video calls, but usually off-camera). She seemed legitimate, but after a few calls I became uncomfortable. She move from meeting in January to telling me she loved me after a few video calls. Moreover, she was upset when I wouldn't return the amorous words. Furthermore, she was a tiny bit suggestive about post-marriage relations, and she broached the subject of no sex before marriage. That is fine by me, but I thought it was an important bit of information. In the end, I was having flashbacks to my first wife (Why don't you love me!) and decided I should move on.
Th fourth girl (38) seemed legit as well. No children. No tattoos. No smoking. Her photographs were mostly taken in an office environment with a name-tag around her neck which was consistent with her graveyard office job (3PM to Midnight office hours which is the only suspicious thing I could find). She had a number of photos showing her hanging out with girlfriends in normal locations (ice cream and such). She is attractive in a wholesome way. She wanted children and was concerned she was getting too old for them. Her mother is 76 and is being taken care of by her sister. Her father has passed, and she lives alone. She seems to be excited by some of my hobbies and activities, and pleased that I am trying to learn the Thai language and more about her culture. She seems too good to be true.
Unfortunately, I'm confused about the courtship process. The third girl jumped from messages to love in a week. In some cultures (even the American culture in the 40's and 50's) that wasn't abnormal. When there is no sex before marriage, the courtship process can be abbreviated. I'm not sure how the Thai culture is though. I would really like to know the typical stages of a courtship in Thailand with a nice girl. I know all women aren't the same, but I hope that I have provided enough detail that some general guidance might be possible.
I will eventually ask her these questions, but I would like to get as much information as possible before I broach the topic with her. I don't want to risk appearing to eager or apathetic. Even more importantly, I don't want to inadvertently disrespect her.
Can somebody provide guidance or point me in the direction of a general roadmap of Thai dating (esp. online)?
Specifically, I would like to get answers to these questions as they relate to dating a Thai woman online for relocation to the US:
1) How long is the courtship process after initial video calls?
2) How long should the courtship last before proposal?
3) Should a proposal take place before actually meeting or should I travel to Thailand first?
4) How long after the proposal should the marriage take place.
5) Any advice on dealing with Sin Sod in this situation so I'm not conned.
6) Does anybody see any warning signs I might have missed?
I really appreciate any help that can be provided.