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About smo

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  1. Back in my -at the dawn of craigslist-dating days, there was one hunky guy I remember whom after several laborious attempts I had to let slip away, simply because the deal-breaker was for when he showed up at the door, I had to present myself as a female (CD as the term used in the States.) We liked each other “merchandises” (ie body parts), he agreed to all various practices that I proposed. But mentally he could not see himself having sex with another guy! So if I could bugger him while donning woman attire and make-up then we’d be all set! I think in general, the spectrum of human sexuality is so wide-open (pun intended) that some labels kinda help in sorting things out at first; though whether that would help clearing up or adding confusion later on, depending on how hardcore things are going to get, is another matter. All my Thai (female) friends, invariably after my coming out to them, whenever we walk past a woman underwear stand would pause and throw me a questioning look; or get all excited when they found me a rather effeminate (“queenie” in gay parlance) acquaintance whom they think would make a good match. When pressed - meaning no laughing matter - they really wanted to know if I am a “king” or a “queen.” The answer to this (had to be either/or for it to make sense to them) laid to rest all that they ever wanted to know about me in the realm of gayness. In my realm of gayness, as a homosexual male, I’m indifferent to most thing pertaining to the female body (except for one, more on that later) even though personally I bear some feminine traits as found on most gay men at one time or another. The thought of having anything to do with woman genitalia is, speaking in the context of sexual intimacy, not repulsive, but simply an idea that I feel strongly averse to, similar to adding palaa to my somtam. (Same could be said for a straight man if he happened to think about what he would do - or rather not - with another guy’s penis.) That one female part that I take exception to, even with a passion, is the chest/breasts area. I agree when someone earlier on this thread says that majority of gay guys don’t care for tits. But to me, a guy with a nice smooth ample chest (suitably adorned with suckle-able areolas) is lot more desirable than if he simply has a huge dick (which, truth be told, always makes me pause with trepidation - another area I know I’m in the minority of.) One time I hit the jackpot, when a guy let me take off-shoulder pics of his bouncy “buxom”; which when shown to my then 3 female housemates, of various ages at the time, became instant object of envy : “Oh, look at that, I wish mine'd (still) look like those!” [“Those were the days, my friends…”]
  2. Thank you Harry, for being helpful without being condescending. People like you unfortunately are rare on this forum, as this thread has proven so far. I just sent you a PM
  3. Thanks SheryL for the info and the prompt reply, as always. I will definitely check it out once I get to Hua Hin (which btw will be first time there for me;-)
  4. Could you give out the name of this hospital? Thanks and much appreciated.
  5. Wow, just because I didn't possess same 30-second google maps skills such as yours and had to ask for help therefore my post was less than serious/genuine? If you were not in such a rush to judgement you might, just might with a bit of luck obtain some insight into my inquiry which is where I was in relation to the general layout of the town (shopping, school, farang hangouts, etc.) - not the location per se which is easy enough to read on my HERE app. Keep in mind that the three days I spent in CR were among the non-English speaking people and it was hard enough to get intelligible info from them when your Thai is at bor song level (year 2 in elementary education), let alone knowing which Thai street names correspond to which English translation. If you "can't believe" and had to "assume" then why wasted your time? I trust TV forum members in general to be smart enough to know a troll when they see one. I myself would be better off without your negative comment, which unfortunately you couldn't keep to yourself, and which has nevertheless stunk up my thread. Have you thought first what if my post is indeed genuine and serious, before soiling it with your casting doubt upon? This is totally uncalled for. I declared myself a newbie didn't I, which I thought would allow me some slack in not knowing what is where/where is what. I'm not asking for a warm welcome from local expats, I only hoped for some common COURTESY and GENEROSITY such as one can expect when asking another fellow human being in the street for direction: "How far am I from the bus terminal? the clock tower, etc?" I guess such inquiry when put forth to your school of behavior would elicit this kind of response: "Oh gosh, can't you read your google map?"
  6. Just spent three days in Chiang Rai with my group of Thai friends. We stayed in town at friends house in a lovely jungle like closure just off the main(?) street. The morning before we left for the airport to go back to BKK I asked the host couple if there is any housing nearby, they took me to one HB residence about 50 yards from their house and there the manager told me there might be one room to be vacant next month. When we got back to the house she called and said yes, it will be and would I like to put down a small deposit. I said yes and gave the bank note to my host to give to them later. My impression of CR is I like it! Friends took me to the White Temple and Singha Park both bore me to tears. The last day they took me to the thai-Myanmar border market which also bore me to tears (except I had no tears left to shed at this point.) On the way to these grand destinations we passed numerous signs to this waterfall that hot spring which to my friends were as exciting ( or maybe less) as the next pit stop. However we did visit a relaxing after-harvest lychee farm and a delightful afternoon open market in Mae Chan and I was telling to myself, patience, patience, we will be seeing more of this in the future. Yeah, we can make it happen! This morning before I booked the plane ticket to go back to CR I called and confirmed with the manager (husband this time, who spoke some English) He said yes they would have the room cleaned awaiting me on the 1st of June. The total I will have to shell out upon taking the room =One month rent+ one month deposit- minus the reservation deposit I had given earlier. Here are a few info I would like to ask from TV member ChiangRai residence if you could take the time to answer I would be very thankful: a) where in town was/am I? Below are some pics of the surroundings. pics 1+2+3)the driveway leading to the house from the main street. 4+5)The school across the street from our driveway.6)standing at the house entrance gate facing the street, looking to the left is this 3 way intersection and a supposedly famous wat at the opposite corner 7) looking to the right is the school and going further in the direction of HB residence my new home a few houses down the street. If you continue on in this direction the street will get more busy and turning right at the next big intersection (on the way to the airport) will be a street full of restaurants eateries coffee shops and what not and this I figure will be my new neighborhood hangouts. b )I learned that there are 5 universities/colleges in town? A friend connection works in one that is specialized in education, but that lady didn't seem to warm up too much to my further inquiries. What I would like to know is which learning institutions offer courses in Thai language learning (such as the Phayap University in CM)? Not to get a degree necessarily, but simply learn to speak read and write. c) Hopefully he local Thai hosts will be my first and foremost guide to settling down in CR (right now I'm thinking of just coming up from BKK for some breath of fresh air once or twice a month, thus my renting a room long term). But eventually I would need to break out on my own. I was told that taxis are the only public transportation in town, songthaews would take you out of town, so what else is there for one to get around (I don't want to drive neither 4 or 2-wheel) except on foot? I think I will have to spend sometime at BigC, Central and the like to get a feel of local farang life. I think we passed a BigC quite often when going around for various sundries, and a short drive would soon take us past Qhouse, Like and D condo buildings which have all been mentioned on this CR forum. In the same token I think we also passed Central shortly after BigC. They are all near my neighborhood by car d) last but not least what waterfall/hot springs are easy to get my feet wet at first so to speak without demanding too much long distance driving from my host/guide (I will be paying for their services and gas expenses of course.) Thank you in advance for any inputs, which will be very helpful and much appreciated. See you soon!
  7. No Khun Kaen Dave, I'm not disputing anyone point of view, and no one has to agree or disagree with any one, this wasn't what I asked for. Various points of view what I wanted and got. I was just putting yours and what I thought a different angle from another member and try to see if I can reconcile the two schools of thought in my head, kind of thinking out loud if you will. And hopefully my follow-up summary would put the thread to rest. For now, again thanks.
  8. Sorry for the accidental double posting (clicking quote instead of edit). the edit here was from 10 to 3 square feet
  9. To sum things up from various inputs/observations of all and sundry: the husband has abdicated responsibilities sometime ago as the breadwinner and left that role to the wife. She begrudgingly took it up, having no choice and wearing herself down in the process. Moreover, the whole family is not doing well partly because the children are not helping but still living off the household means ie they still weigh the parents down. Love/intimacy or whatever embedded as such in our farang concept is no longer part of the discussion, money is. In the meantime each of the couple is left to find personal peace/contentment within him/herself and whatever strenght it takes to carry on. The outlook seems like the wife's health will run down and she collapse on the job one day, only then will there be some (major or minor) decision to be made. But right now, life as it is goes on.... (At my local mall, on an empty floor, if not for one Fuji restaurant branch, one middle-age still looking strong man in nice clean uniform stands guard outside the restaurant entrance, half of the time leaning on the balcony trying to prop himself up from falling asleep. That is his post, not more than 10 square feet of real estate, where he would spend the major part of his work hours. I could never understand how one can work as such job day in day out. But now I think my friend the husband is the type that would handle such occupation splendidly!)
  10. Seems like we have two opposite view points as above...or are they not? You're right whaleboneman in this aspect, the couple seems to have money management issue (especially the wife - thus explainiing the husband having his own atm card.) I myself have to be aware not to let myself treated as a walking atm for them sometimes as (some of us) farangs are so eager to open up our wallet.
  11. Wow, now I just want to lie down and die... a different version of "Les Miz" shall I say? By the way has anyone seen "Sliding Doors" which gives viewer (dis)safistaction to know both outcomes, should one be so curious... starring Gwyneth Paltrow.
  12. Wow, it must be the rainy season! ie when it rains it pours. My original post went on board the 1st of May, immediately fell into oblivion which made methink TV members are not interested in non-inter-racial marriage therefore me barking up the wrong tree. Then 10 days later, in the last 24 hrs a torrent of replies comes in like the downpour, and still is as I type.... YES - in regard to: 1) money - wife holds the purse strings; they are not the stingy type, probably due to remaining habits from their once affluent gone-by era; at present time, after/before any so-called frivolous expenditure ("let's go to Santa Fe upstairs (at the Mall) for a quick bite!") there is always some quick under-bated-breath discussion. The husband occupies himself with counting pennies, or in this case, satangs. One post here, I think from Thaidream, really hits the nail on the head = money => the house. Case in point, the reason they took me to their village over Songkran was to see if that's the place I think I can see myself retire to (on their plot of land and therefore would "fork out" to build "our" house where we can all get old together!) Being a veteran TV member I of course demurred! The wife seemed quite disappointed but being a good sport, got over that pretty quick. The hard blow for her was when the bank turned them down. It seemed to have caused a big fracas between the two of them that luckily I was spared of, but did notice the fallout effects nevertheless. 2) sex - I'm not sure their sex live is still salvageable. She has passed her sell-by date and no effort, though not for lack of trying, to "redo" herself would bring about any improvement except into sharp relief the hopelessness of it. The fact that she doesn't see it/herself realistically is one common human foible (most of) us (still) hold dear until someone tells us to take a good hard look in the mirror. As for him, yes I agree with one previous reply that their interaction/respect for each other (mainly him) or lackthereof might have esmasculated him to the point where sex, or more importantly, intimacy has gone out the window. On the other hand, I can imagine, as some posts here have also mentioned, that in a 30-year plus marriage sex no longer plays an important role - but where do we go from here? Giving up sex altogether? Never having gone down that road before (hmmm,... more on that later) I myself wonder how any married/partnered male could go without sex for any long(ish) period of time (loud disclaimer here:****no offence intended to anyone****) and not becoming a timebomb of sort. 3) the children - again I agree with one reply here that they need a good kick in the butts. The eldest girl has recently found work, or rather her boyfriend has found some office supply delivery work that she can accompany him and help out, though that does mean taking the family SUV and leaving the parents to take bus/taxi to work/shop at Makro. 4) ***last but not least*** the 3rd wheel ie yours truly - I think I have become the surrogate child to both of them even though I'm older than both. The fact that I'm gay a) and farang seems oddly enough/or thereby to be the novelty they need to spice up their humdrum life - b )takes away any sexual tension that (western) observers might see this as a potential menage a trois! (she does joke that I might want to take him out for a date, "see how it goes...") Thus I agree with one previous reply saying that I might be of help to their strained circumstance: like a court jester, I injected much needed levity and cheerfulness into their seemingly no-exit situation which might just go on until?(=the original question/topic of this thread). Please keep more coming - I appreciate/enjoy all brain-storming, butt-kicking inputs so far.
  13. Two additional scenarios I've seen in Thailand: a) At water parks/swimming pools mothers would stride into men's locker/changing room with their little boys and help them in bathing/changing matter just as they would normally do at home. Nobody screams...(personally I find this rather endearing, "Mama's love!"). I can't tell whether the opposite also happens? (Fathers stride into women's locker...) b ) this is more in the "Is that a gun in your pocket?" category. At my local BigC, there is the security personnel at the entrance and exit after payment. One senior lady posted at the exit, one of her jobs is to make sure that the general staff (usually one generation younger) would not sneak out store items when they leave the store on their break. Her expedient method is what I would call light groping over their body - from chest to groin areas - on both male and female. Nobody screams either....
  14. One piece of relevant background info I forgot to put in: they're not the Isaan dark buffalo country pumpkin type (not meant to be derivative), they both have spent most their adult lives in Bangkok - wife used to be an accountant, husband worked in the hardware industry. One day he threw in the towel, quit his job and as a result the couple lost their cherished house where the kids were raised and now it seems the wife has taken over the ship's helm (husband is content to be washing 200 dirty dishes a day). Maybe that's when they started down the slippery slope?
  15. This is really not my business but it concerns my friends, thus somewhat of my concern. In a nutshell, my close friends, a Thai couple, is drifting apart. They are working class, in their mid (her) late (him) 50s, running a chicken rice stand on campus canteen where I frequent. They don't talk normal to each other anymore, any exchange in close quarter quickly turns to bickerings (with her usually having the last word, in high pitch; the husband is pretty passive, left to sulk.) Two of their 3 all grown up daughters, still live at home and chip in (whenever they can) with living expenses, car payment etc. Last time I (closely) looked, they both appear resigned. I usually come around at the end of business day, to find her sit sleeping at the table and him glued to his mobile. During joking moments, when asked why she looks tired and unhappy, among many practical reasons (lately the bank turned down their loan to buy a house which they desperately want to own, car payment is breaking their back, their kids are not working, etc...) she let out that he hasn't touched her for several months, now. When we spent Songkran together in her home village, the whole gang sat around drinking and on more than one occasion everybody (including the husband himself) joined in the joke, "he is sleep(y) but not (sleep)ee!" The wife's explaination was that he no longer does it riep roy, therefore she doesn't want it (sour grapes?) I half-joked to her that it's time to get him a mia noy, or let him have his occasional "sexcapades" to the girlie spa, then all would be well again. She says no, if it comes to that she would leave. Recently I got a jolt when we joked about her appearance (too skinny and what not- the reality is she is turning into an old hag), the husband slyly showed me a pic on his mobile phone, the bare chest of an old female (I sincerely hope it wasn't hers) and asked, "do you want that?" - which I translated as "do you think I want that?" I catch him occasionally throwing a quick glance at other women (younger... with more meat on their bones ...) which I'm sure doesn't escape her either. They spend all their waking moments together (due to the nature of their job selling food, after work I sometimes accompany them to Makro to get stuff for the next day) never take a day off except for Songkran and family ritual (got to do with the departed) days. My showing up is usually taken as a welcome diversion to both of them and sometimes I feel as if I was acting like a buffer between the two. I wonder how long it be before one of them slashes out at the other with a meat cleaver? In the West, actually I should put it this way, if this were a western couple, this would be time to call on a divorce lawyer. In the East, ie in Thailand, the addition of a mia noy - or kik - would usually "fix" it.