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Everything posted by -jr-

  1. I'm Thai and somehow I didn't notice many Vietnamese when I was in Thailand. Mainly because we look so much alike and it's hard to identify them from the crowd. But during my stay in Germany, I met and knew many of them in the university. I like Vietnamese, they are friendly and polite, hard-working and dedicated. However, they're quiet shy and hardly speak, even amongst themselves. In general, I like them most, amongst other international students, but I wish they would be more extrovert. Who knows. Maybe they might also wish that I would shut up sometimes.
  2. No offence, just comment. Just that people in my circle of gay friends (around my age, 26-29, Thai) found the guys who abide by no-sex-on-the-first-date rule a bit annoying. It's totally fine if he's a really emotional kind of guy that need to know someone better before getting intimate. But if he came onto you all the evening and in the end, said that let's do it the day after at his place just because he has a rule not to have sex with someone on the first date. And believe me, those people do exist. Either they read and abided by a must-not on the first date or probably they forgot to 'prepare' for the late evening. Anyway, it's usually ended up with my friend called some of us, ranted it out but went meet the guy the day after anyway. So, I guess it's not that bad. But I think it would be better not to wait half a day because if sex part doesn't turn out well, it would really be a big disappointment. The kind that he would let every one knows and even put it in a blog if he has one. If it's good, it's just good. I've never heard them say, 'it worths waiting for' before. The fact is the guy left him hanging, so it 'has to' be good. I don't think patience is our virtue. As said in the beginning, just a comment. I'm sure people in the other age range would find it differently. But I believe it's more about attitude than age. You know your date and you know what you want, so you'll know what to do in the end. If you don't know it, don't do it.
  3. It's hard to find english book here in Germany. There's always only a teeny, tiny shelf for English section even in big book store. Mayersche here is 5-storey book store with only 2 shelves for English books, filled with Harry Potters, Artemis Fowls (no offence) and Terry Pratchett's books (yikes!). Mid-popular titles like series of unfortunate events were never there when I was there. Had to order it with penultimate peril and already pre-ordered 'The End'. Hope to get it on Oct 13. Have you read Beatrice Letters yet? Is it worth buying? I second that. Both about useful tips you gave and Paris' album. It's nice tune. I played it to some thai friends here. They kinda liked it as well but when it came to Stars are Blind, they knew who sings it and just blurted out disappointedly bias 'oh' as well. #@!#@[email protected]## Back to the topic, most were mentioned already. For me, I just be clean, on time, casual and honest. And that's all I expected from my date as well. About timing issue, I usually called my date 5 minutes before meeting time, telling him where I am and ask him where he is. That way I'd know if my date would be late or not. If he'd be late, I can go shopping or do other things rather than hogging a table for 15 minutes with just a cup of coffee, waiting for him. If I would be late, I usually called my date as soon as I'm sure I'd be late so that he wouldn't have to wait for me at the meeting point alone too long. Planning ahead, be around the meeting point before meeting time is much better, unless you're really on a tight schedule. If there is really nothing interesting around the meeting point, bring a book. It could also be a conversation material as well. I won't recommend a magazine because it makes you look cheap and also not a newspapers 'coz it makes you look like opa. Sex or no sex? Go with the flow, if you'd like to and he'd like to, do it. Small teasing is fine but playing hard to get or pulling a britney is so yesterday.
  4. -jr-

    I Need Some Advice, Please!

    I could understand why his colleagues wanted to meet you. If my colleague got a basket of flowers and a teddy bear, I'm sure almost every one in the office would like to know who was his secret (at least to them) admirer. Some do want to know, so that they can look out for him (about you) and sadly, some just want to compare you with their own guys/girls, depends on how popular your guy is. One thing is for sure, they're serious about wanting to see you. Isn't it the same thing over there? I don't think you'll just nod if your colleague got a basket of flower. Small talk/comment is usually expected but would you want to see the basket sender? Or just don't care at all?
  5. -jr-

    How Did You Learn About

    Yes, it's that column! I think it's in a magazine called 'Plak'. Does it still exist? I don't think so. An Australian guy, Peter Jackson, wrote a book based around some of the letters: "Dear Uncle Go: Male Homosexuality in Thailand" by Peter Jackson. I've never read that book from Peter Jackson. I forgot the name of the column but the column owner is call "Go Paknam" (โก๋ ปากน้ำ) and he called himself "Uncle Go". The magazine is either "Plak" (แปลก) or "Mahadsajan" (มหัศจรรย์). And I think it's one of the first column in public magazines that published gay stories. Most of them are letters explaining their experience with questions at the end and "Uncle Go" answered it. Most of the questions was asking for advice on what they should do next, sometimes asking about possibilities of STD infections and etc. It's erotic (in experience part) and educational (in Q&A part) in some way. You're not alone, I had it when I was 20 and 'after' graduated. While most people considered college time the prime time for sex-periment, mine? mostly spent on trips with friends, playing network games, help parents in shop and some part-time jobs.
  6. -jr-

    Thailand To Seize Thaksin's Assets

    Who are the three? The ones richer than him? Would be interesting to know. ....and what is R2,2-billion? Is that Rand, Ruppees, Baht even, or Dollars or Pounds? I'm a multi milllionaire in Vietnam and Italy, really!!! It has been Euro in Italy for years already. Back to the topic. I just read in another newspaper, the Council for Democratic Reform under Constitutional Monarchy (CDRM) said that they have no plan to seize Toxin's asset by themselves. They will let NCCC investigate and take care of that, which I think it's quite generous already, in addition to the fact that they didn't freeze Toxin's accounts from day 1. And as far I know (from newspapers), his accounts are still not locked, which is what I couldn't understand. I don't think they should just seize all the assets. Only the amount they found that it's not legally obtained should be fair enough, plus calculated interest and fine for damage he caused, of course. That could worth all he has in Thai banks and properties. Somehow I don't think it would make him poor. Poorer than when he was PM, maybe. But while investigating, shouldn't it be safer to freeze the account, especially when the account's owner is now abroad.
  7. -jr-

    State Of Emergency In Thailand

    Yes! I prayed for this very day! For those who can read Thai, check: http://www.navy.mi.th/navyboard/boarditem3.php?id=39668
  8. -jr-

    How Did You Learn About

    Are you talking about 'Uncle Go'? Yes, it's that column! I think it's in a magazine called 'Plak'. Does it still exist?
  9. -jr-

    How Did You Learn About

    My mistake. I clicked on view result before I voted and now I can't vote anymore. How come I'm the only bookworm? I've known that I'm attracted to men since I was in highschool. But about sex, I learned it from a magazine. There was a weekly magazine my maid bought back then, it was kinda magazine about unusual things such as believe-it-or-not or world records on weird stuffs. In that magazine, there were two columns that printed reader's sex stories, one is for str8 stories and another is for gay/lesbian. That's how I learned about gay sex. However, the first time I had a gay sex was when I was 20! Very late start but somehow I think I did catch up ok in the last 6 years. Before that, I almost had gay sex a couple of times but I freaked out. First time was in a book store when I was about 13-14 (I was not in adult section if you wonder. what's wrong with those people?). I freaked out and walked away to security guard. The other times were mostly in pub/bar with my friends, was mostly approached when I was in the toilet (away from the horde) but I was too shy back then. So nothing's happened until I was 20. He was my first boyfriend afterward. We broke up about 8 months later because we both wanted to see other people. ...[parts deleted]One thing leads to another... . Not so easy but quite memorable. Am I having a nostalgia? No! (greatly edited by PB, to keep it educational more than explicit)
  10. Because most "regular Thais" have no idea how these foundations work, unless they are volonteers themselves, or have friends who are volonteers. Nevertheless, you will see many "regular Thais" making donations at the fondation's headquarters, especially when one of their relatives has died - so, these foundations can't be all bad. The foundations are not secret societies - their headquarters are open to the public. If you, or anyone does not believe me (or the poster here who is a Ruamkatanyu volonteer), you can go there yourself and ask all the questions you want. The Por Teck Tueng headquarters is in Prapachai just after the police station, the Ruamkatanyu is at the Hualompong temple. Agree. I'm Thai and I don't know much about PTT as well. What we heard from other people are mostly only bad things because it's juicier to talk about. But I remember a couple of years before, a group of claimed-to-be PTT volunteers with ID and certificate was asking for donation on the street nearby my office at noon. It was their bad day because one of my colleague has a brother worked with PTT and so she knew the group was a fake. So she made a call to her brother and about 15 minutes after, we saw those group running past the shop we were having lunch. I don't know if they ran from police or local PTT group. The fruit seller told me later that, out of blue, they ran away. My guess was that it's the local PTT group and they didn't run after the fake group because it's impossible to run after someone there (small street with thousands office workers coming down for lunch). It would be nice if every one knows that the group of people who asked for donation are fake. Apart from people who know people in PTT, I don't think even Thais know that fact. But I doubt if any TV or radio station would care to tell people about it even if they were asked to. Fake ID and bumper sticker is a piece of cake, anyone with good color printer and laminate machine can do that. By the way, for those who are sceptical about degree of medical training for PTT volunteers, I recommend you asking some Thai friends (if you have, otherwise ask bargirls who can assist you) to write a note in Thai, saying "No Por Tek Tung, please call <whatever-number-you-believe-it-can-help-you>". You believe PTT would make you cripple or dead anyway, so it couldn't be worse, right? And I hope PTT would leave you alone as you wish, too. By the way, as someone said many pages ago, it's something government should provide. However, I think it's great when the citizen does not just complain and wait for government action, especially here in Thailand. We know how corrupted the system is and the worse is that they don't care about our complaints unless they could find a way get a benefit from that. I heard that there was a corruption in ambulance project from previous Bangkok governer. To them (politicians), emergency service might be just another source to made money from the system.
  11. -jr-

    How Did You Meet Your Soul-mate?

    Just added one more, someone else did in between. Now it's 23. :-) My idea of relationship is about the same as Boybrat. I read forum about 2-3 times a week but I didn't reply much because in most topics, BB already pointed out what I thought about the subject. My records on relationship was not so good. None of them last longer than a year but I still have some of them as friends and recurred our memory sometimes (you know what I meant). By the way, my relationships were all with Thais. I don't believe in long-distance relationship except for friendship. Two years ago, I came to Germany to do my Master's degree. I decided to live for the moment, not clinging to anything/anyone because I'll go back to Thailand after graduate. so I was not looking for any 'feste Bezeihung' (fixed relationship). There were some guys who would like to have me for themselves but I just told them that I like to butterfly around. By the end of last year, I had a few regular sex dates that I met vary from once a week to once a month. It was quite nice, we met, we talked, we had good times. But on January, I met another guy, after a few meetings, he started to call me his boyfriend. So I told him that I was not looking for a relationship, that I also had some other guys and not gonna change the way I live. He accepted it, even though he said that he's a serial monogamist. After that he started 'courting' me seriously and it has been since then. To cut the story short, now I'm spending most of my time with him. I still talk to my sex dates but only meet them once in a while. I'm quite satisfy with just him. He baited me many time with the L word but every time he said it, I just smiled back and told him that I like us the way we are. I think it disappointed him a bit but I'd rather keep it real. I'd say that I'm having a relationship with him now but it's kinda like time-limited one. Once I graduate and flying back to Thailand, we would just be a long-distance friend. He knows that because I reminded him almost every time he started to talk about future. I just hope that when the time comes, he would be ok. I'm not sure if my vote is valid in this topic because I don't believe much in soul-mate. So my answers was based on my current relationship. To me, soul-mate is a fairy tale. It's just something ideal that make people look up to and sometimes make them forget to appreciate what they have in hand.
  12. Thumbs up for ColPyat. I believe it is much more precise than in that article. Many documentaries were done just to attract people attention and less concerned about the fact, as long as it made the audience ooh and aah. Sadly, those publications are usually the popular ones in most countries, e.g. Bild in Germany or the Sun in the UK. And of course, some audiences are too shallow to think further than what they saw/read. And media tend to left out the fact that does not entertain the audiences.
  13. -jr-

    I Need Some Advice, Please!

    I believe there are lots of reason when someone (Thai) became quiet. Sure, some do because they were afraid they would make a mistake, the same way that Germans are not keen on speaking English even though they could. At least (most) Thais doesn't react with temper, which I think it's much worse than being quiet. It's not about the language proficiency, it's just degree of shyness. There are people who are not good in English but they could keep on talking all the time because they know not to afraid to make mistakes. I used to have what BB called 'naive and sweet' kind of shyness before as well. I didn't want to upset the other people, so sometimes I went out with some guys I was not attracted to, just because I didn't know how to refuse them without upsetting them. It was just last year that I started speaking it out frankly once I'm sure it's not gonna work. Part of the reason was because I realized that some guys had been taking advantage, knowing that I was too polite (a.k.a. naive) to deny them. No matter how many hints I had given them, they kept on asking to meet again and again. Finally, I had enough of it, so I just said it bluntly (but not rudely) that I was not attracted to them and didn't feel like to hang out with them again. Now I only date the guys I'd like to date with, less stress and much better. That was my story. There are still times that I am uncommunicative. Such as when being in front of strangers, when I didn't have enough sleep and when I'm too tired to talk. But I think those reasons have nothing to do with being Thai. Other than that, I could keep the conversation going most of the time (in Thai and English, I can participate only a bit in German). My point is that there are many reason for someone to be quiet. It could also be that he was too bored, he was too polite to hurt your feeling, you're still a stranger to him, he had a bad day and don't want to take it out on innocent people (you), he was angry and need time to think it through instead of blurt it out right away, or just that he dozed off and etc. Don't just imply that it always be the language problem. About Gabriel's guy, from what you mentioned, seems that it's only the language problem. You're very lucky that he told you right away what the problem was (in a mushy, cutesy way but nice). I think you've got a good catch. I wish you both great times together in Thailand. //JR PS. Seems that there're lots of Thais here (including me) in Expat forum, I hope you guys don't mind that.
  14. LOL. I love your post, boybrat. Same philosophy goes with me. --- 1. his b/f like to do thing behind him (hang out with new guy which is gay of course but never tell my friend) he caught his b/f doing that several time but he keep silience. - I'd say that b/f of him needs some spaces. If your friend doesn't like the idea of his b/f going out with someone else, why kept silence? ask away. at least, he would know what they did or know that his b/f felt uncomfortable to be honest with him (about what he did with another guy). 2. when they trying to communicate, his b/f would say "i went out with friends" then silence!!! - I don't think the answer would be 'I shagged with a guy I met yesterday' even if that's what he did. A general question like 'Where have you been?' deserves a general answer like that. Be honest and speak out what you know, what you want to know and demands the real answer. Once you know the truth, you can decide what your next step would be. 3. then when my friend say "i'm gonna go with my friend tonight" his b/f get upset "where are you going? with who? when will you come back?" is that new b/f etc... - At least he was honest with his feeling, not keeping it inside. But I agree with what Scott said that it could be his guilt that made him scare of what your friend would do. --- I don't think being a couple means that 2 people have to have exactly the same attitude. That would be a bit boring. As long as you both agree on each other's habit, I couldn't see any problem. If you couldn't accept it, why wait? If you're so sure that it's not gonna work, that there's no way you gonna compromise, then I'd say, break up before it turns ugly. The most important thing is that you should be able to talk with your bf about what you could handle and what you couldn't. As PB&Scott mentioned, a real conversation with agreement on limits (if needed) of promiscuity (replaced it with activities if you like). Don't just wait too long with the he-should-know-that attitude. Unless your partner is a mind reader, there is a big chance he would miss some of your concerns. //JR PS. dukkha, in Buddhism, being promiscuous violates one of the five precepts (sexual misconduct). It just that people tend to care less doesn't mean they were not inculcated before. Also being gay is not defined by letters in the teachings, so people like the idea of applying it the way they see fit.
  15. -jr-

    Gay Words In Thai

    The equivalent word for homosexual is 'rak ruam ped' (love same sex). It's kinda technical term used by mad shrinks (especially those homophobia). I personally think 'gay' is the safe word to use. Asking 'are you gay?' is ok because it sounds more like 'do you like men?'. But asking 'are you rak-ruam-ped?' sounds more like 'are you sick?' to me. There is no direct equivalent to transgender that I know of though. It might be something like 'kra-toey pah laew' (already operated ladyboys). Best way is not to categorized them at all. Think of them as a free spirit. As long as they are not tied down (married), they can do anything they like 'in private'. Is it necessary to put people in labelled basket?
  16. I just had a small discussion with a friend about whose bakery is the best. So I just wondered about your opinions over the best bakery. My friend claimed that German bakery is the best because of its variety and originality. He also claimed that German bakery has the widest range of bakery product in Europe and that most bakery products nowsday are invented by German. I prefer rice or pasta. But when it comes to breads, I prefer croissant, scone or just just white loaf. I found 'most' German breads are too stuffy for me. I'm not a bread guy, so I wonder about your opinions. If possible, could you tell me which bakery you like most, either the nationality or just the kind of product and why you prefer it to other kinds? And it would be great for statistic if you could also tell me your home country (or continent). Thanks, JR
  17. Try that in Germany. It could be much worse. At least in LOS, you can talk nicely (or let your money talk) and sometimes they just let it go. IMO, it's practical to get a work permit if they don't charge those who are there to do the volunteer work. I believe even if you do volunteer works here in Europe, you also need work permit, too. So why made a fuss when they do the same in Thailand? And they also mentioned that it'd be easy to get and they said that one month in advance. So what's the problem?
  18. I guess you meant the performance last september, totally agree about the soprano. It was the first time i see Turandot though. Somehow i appreciated neither Calaf's nor Turandot's love much... It was more a tragedy for me on what happened to poor Liu...
  19. From the article, I think they'll drive YOUR car, not that they'll take you home on theirs. If you're drunk but not driving, you can take taxi. So if you like having a stranger as your personal driver, you may try it for fun. They might carry breathalyser with them, so you should carry a bottle of whisky with you just in case you're hopelessly bored and would like to trouble some poor volunteer. Do you think having this campaign will make it better or worse? I think it'll help, though not much but better than nothing. Some do drink socially and don't want to drive but they have to (live somewhere remote, don't trust taxi, travel all day, etc). If they could have somebody trustworthy (Por Teck Tung should know volunteer's identity, right?) to drive them home, it'll be better than let them drive and caused accident to any innocent victims, right? I think it could be worse in case of bad volunteers or bad clients. Seems that many people here already have an idea of abusing it. Shame? I don't think so. I guess that as long as you can make fun of somebody else or say that they're stupid, you'd feel much better to yourself anyway. What did Freund say? ... PS. I agree with no mercy rule and about educating people. But while it's still not realistic here yet, in my opinion, this campaign worth a try. Hope they'll have a good safety regulation then, for both volunteer and the drunk.
  20. -jr-

    I'm Bisexual And I Need Some Friends

    You can try mygaydar site. Just post your profile and wait or check the other profiles by yourself then. Good place for you to meet non-Thai guys there because the people there seems to be a bit more on inter-cultural (gam<->gwm). Hope it'll help you somehow.
  21. Yes. You can find them in sauna and some designer restaurants. Much easier in sauna though. Coz you don't have to wonder if they're gay or regular customer. A good venue for Thais who after farangs is Babylon. For his character, check it yourself. Flirt those look educated and talk to them (yes, they do talking there as well, sometimes). a word of advice: SAFE SEX ONLY