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BANGKOK 12 December 2018 06:44

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Q. Why do women have orgasms?
A. So that they can moan even when they are enjoying themselves.

 

 

A recent survey asked 1000 men what they enjoyed most about a blow job.
99.9% said, '' The 10 minutes of silence''

 

I told my wife "I want to try that wheelbarrow position tonight."

She asked me, "What is that?"

I explained "You bend over, put your hands on the floor then I pick your legs up and take you from behind!"
"Okay" she said, "I'll do it on two conditions.. First, if it hurts you stop immediately and, second, .... we don't go down past my mother's".

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A female lecturer is telling a group of students how to teach maths to small children. 
"It's always a good idea for them to visualise the question. 
For instance, if I said there were three cats on a wall and one was shot dead -- how many were left? -- the children would answer 2. They would be able to see the cats in their mind's eye." 
At that point she was interrupted by one of the students. 
"Excuse me, but I would have answered none to that question." 
The lecturer looked puzzled, repeated the problem but again the student shook his head. 
"My answer would be none," he said. "If one of the cats had been shot then the other two would have been out of there in a flash." 
She replied, "Well, in theory that wouldn't be correct, however I like the way you think." 
The student continued, "May I ask you a question now? If there were three women walking down the street, one licking an ice lolly, one biting an ice lolly and one sucking an ice lolly -- which one would you think was married?" 
The teacher blushed profusely and stuttered a reply. 
"Well ... er ... the one sucking the ice lolly." 

 


"No," replied the student, smiling, "it would be the one wearing a wedding ring, still, I like the way you think!" 

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A man walks into the bedroom with a sheep on a leash and says...

"Honey, this is the goat I make love to when you have a headache."

The wife, lying in the bed reading a book, looks up and says,
"If you weren't such an idiot, you'd know that's a sheep, not a goat."

The guy replies, "If you weren't such a presumptuous old goat, you'd realize I was talking to the sheep."

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