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Jet Gorgon

Thai Toilet Etiquette

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cessnock    0
Tissue? Don't be soft. What's wrong with a slightly damp arse?

I'm thinking of changing 1 of my 3 toilets in my house from Western style to Thai style - a lot more comfortable, hygenic, and healthy(good if your constipated - squirt right up your **** and wait 20s).

Good one.....lol

Cessnock :o:D:D:D

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mamanoodle    0

My farang arse ain't that heavy, but lost count how many times needed to clean dirty footmarks off loo seats! Would'nt mind if they lifted the seat before squatting!! And I never go anywhere without tissues and wipes in the handbag. Squat loos a nightmare when you got arthritic knees and hips too, nearly impossible to stand and walk afterwards.

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what about the toilets without the bum guns? the ones with a tub of water and the round plasic bowl ?

how do those work? I assume you pour it down your lower back, hoping some of it trickles its way down under... unless one is meant to somehow reach under and project it upwards in a splash, risking a slip & possible contamination.

For a guy with a lotta posts, you must have spent most of your time in the city ......... the LEFT hand is used to splash water UP to the anus and, if necessary, wash it a bit all from the small plastic bowl, and the remaining water dumped in the toilet.......then some fresh water from the tub in the plastic bowl and a good scrub of the left hand in the plastic bowl, dump the water and you're done. Thais are careful not to contaminate the water in the tub and to not use their right hand. This may not seem terribly sanitary to westerners but most health professionals know that SCRUBBING of the hands is more important than using soap. The upside is that Thais must have the cleanest bums in the world; most that I know are disgusted by the western use of toilet paper.

Good post Popshirt. That is the way it is done. Traditionally the left hand is used for cleaning and it is one reason why you don't see Thais using their left hand very much in their dining habits. A Thai toilet equipped with a sprayer being the most sanitary system I have experienced, far superior to the typical Western toilet equipped with toilet paper. I can attest to that because of the comparison of my skivvies when I am living in Bangkok and in the Western USA. The "skidmarks" never lie. :o

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qwertz    0
My farang arse ain't that heavy, but lost count how many times needed to clean dirty footmarks off loo seats! Would'nt mind if they lifted the seat before squatting!! And I never go anywhere without tissues and wipes in the handbag. Squat loos a nightmare when you got arthritic knees and hips too, nearly impossible to stand and walk afterwards.

Good point. I'm not handicapped, fortunately, but I couldn't help but notice that the whole of LOS isn't overly handicapped friendly, the toilets being only one example.

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Jet Gorgon    0

Wow, informative and alot of laughs here, too. Thanks, y'all!

The left hand syndrome was always a problem for me Asia, because I'm left-handed. Got used to using my right, but signing my name always raised eyebrows.

I agree with the squirtgun folks; it is easy to use and rather refreshing, but I always used soap, too, and then cheated and dried off with tissue.

Thanks Sarpesius and Popshirt for directions on the correct use of the water scoop. Small things you would never ask in public, but maybe this info wll be helpful for LOS newcomers, too. I had to ask another farang how to flush when I first saw that setup, but he didn't know these details.

Yes, I empathise with creaky boned folks who have to use squats. I don't know how the older Thai people do it either. Bad enough getting up off the squat loo if you are tipsy. I knew one guy who built a raised throne with western seat for his squat, but that doesn't help if you need to use a public WC.

Gwertz, you maniac! :o I hid behind trees in jungles and forests before. Very natural. Just be careful what kind of leaf you pick for cleanup -- pick off something poisonous and you probably won't be able to sit for a week. BTW, I think banana leaves are too shiny and slick to do a good job.

Grovie, I'd like to see you reenact the shirt rollup...

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endure    1,834
I don't know how the older Thai people do it either.

A lifetime of kneeling and squatting probably leaves them a lot more supple than us farangs even when they're older.

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PhilHarries    22
Perhaps instructions should be posted in the bathroom. :o

I was taken to a restaurant by a Thai contractor and when we came to leave went to the toilets. On the wall outside was a sign showing a drawing of a person squatiing on the western style toilet with a red cross underneath. Next to it was a drawing of a person stiing with a big green tick under. "Class establishment this" I said "even got crapping instructions". :D

On a very serious note some people have talked about squatting on western style crappers. DO NOT EVER DO THIS! The ceramic is not very strong and if it breaks down you go on to razor sharp edges. I have seen photographs of the results of such an incident and it aint pretty, fairly sure the person died as the wounds were HORRENDOUS!

Sorry if that bit is repeated but I've only got to page three and I don't want to forget to post this.

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nikster    706
what about the toilets without the bum guns? the ones with a tub of water and the round plasic bowl ?

how do those work? I assume you pour it down your lower back, hoping some of it trickles its way down under... unless one is meant to somehow reach under and project it upwards in a splash, risking a slip & possible contamination.

For a guy with a lotta posts, you must have spent most of your time in the city ......... the LEFT hand is used to splash water UP to the anus and, if necessary, wash it a bit all from the small plastic bowl, and the remaining water dumped in the toilet.......then some fresh water from the tub in the plastic bowl and a good scrub of the left hand in the plastic bowl, dump the water and you're done. Thais are careful not to contaminate the water in the tub and to not use their right hand. This may not seem terribly sanitary to westerners but most health professionals know that SCRUBBING of the hands is more important than using soap. The upside is that Thais must have the cleanest bums in the world; most that I know are disgusted by the western use of toilet paper.

Good post Popshirt. That is the way it is done. Traditionally the left hand is used for cleaning and it is one reason why you don't see Thais using their left hand very much in their dining habits. A Thai toilet equipped with a sprayer being the most sanitary system I have experienced, far superior to the typical Western toilet equipped with toilet paper. I can attest to that because of the comparison of my skivvies when I am living in Bangkok and in the Western USA. The "skidmarks" never lie. :o

thanks for explaining this - the squirter never posed a problem but the bucket and bowl setup left me wondering. i was able to figure out the solution by myself but I was wondering if there's a better one out there. looks like not. it didn't leave me feeling very clean.

as for taking off pants - i need to do this or else i get them all wet. i have tried to put them on the thighs, and failed ... also i have this image of the phone falling out of the front pocket and into the loo... so rather than losing a BHT 20K gadget, I rather take off the pants :D

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Alf Witt    0
Perhaps instructions should be posted in the bathroom. :o

If this was the European Community there would be laws requiring such notices e.g.:

ALL PERSONS ENTERING THIS ESTABLISHMENT MUST OBIDE BY THE FOLLOWING:

OFFENDERS WILL BE PROSECUTED AND EXCUDED FRON FURTHER USE.

1. Close door whilst in use.

2. Notice on the water trough and toilet "Eau non potable" - do not drink.

3. in case of emergency ring the alarm bell (or in Thailand shout "chuai duay").

4. do not place banana leaves in the toilet bowl.

5. now wash your feet please.

6. no dogs allowed, except guide dogs.

7. Use only left hand for washing anus. Amputees holding special licence permitting use of right hand are exempt except for those employed in food preparation in this establishment.

8. report all missing hooks to the management. (EC Commission Note: this refers to door hooks and not to hooks worn by amputees. In the case of the latter, engage the services of fellow amputee to use his / her hook to fetch yours from the toilet. _ a "mutual assistance website exists to enable persons affected by this regulation to register their location and mobile-phone numbers - see HTTP://eurononsense/bureau-crap.com)

9. This toilet is inspected every 20 minutes by a trained EC accredited member of staff. It is obligatory for all users to immediately vacate the toilet when inspection is due.

10. Squat on toilet. Do not attempt to sit as this may impede your ability to comply with 9 above.

11. Instruction book which includes full text of EC Law (including amendments) is available from the management. Price 99 Euro.

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soundman    1,297

Have to agree with some of the other posters in relation to having far less "skid" marks using the thai system. :D:D

Soundman's advice: (not sure whether 100% thai style or not, works for me!)

Enter the thunderbox.

Do your thing being very careful to aim straight or to the rear (never sideways!!)

Give yourself a goood spray. (check the head first, make sure its not contaminated)

Wipe sparingly with paper.

Bob's your uncle. :D

Use at least 200 litres of water on your way out to make sure the crapper is ready for the next person. :o

Cheers,

Soundman.

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veteran    0

:o if you have a problem with the hong nam,then you dont have a problem, its just take

time to get jused to it. :D

regards VETERAN :D

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qwertz    0
Perhaps instructions should be posted in the bathroom. :o

If this was the European Community there would be laws requiring such notices e.g.:

ALL PERSONS ENTERING THIS ESTABLISHMENT MUST OBIDE BY THE FOLLOWING:

OFFENDERS WILL BE PROSECUTED AND EXCUDED FRON FURTHER USE.

1. Close door whilst in use.

2. Notice on the water trough and toilet "Eau non potable" - do not drink.

3. in case of emergency ring the alarm bell (or in Thailand shout "chuai duay").

4. do not place banana leaves in the toilet bowl.

5. now wash your feet please.

6. no dogs allowed, except guide dogs.

7. Use only left hand for washing anus. Amputees holding special licence permitting use of right hand are exempt except for those employed in food preparation in this establishment.

8. report all missing hooks to the management. (EC Commission Note: this refers to door hooks and not to hooks worn by amputees. In the case of the latter, engage the services of fellow amputee to use his / her hook to fetch yours from the toilet. _ a "mutual assistance website exists to enable persons affected by this regulation to register their location and mobile-phone numbers - see HTTP://eurononsense/bureau-crap.com)

9. This toilet is inspected every 20 minutes by a trained EC accredited member of staff. It is obligatory for all users to immediately vacate the toilet when inspection is due.

10. Squat on toilet. Do not attempt to sit as this may impede your ability to comply with 9 above.

11. Instruction book which includes full text of EC Law (including amendments) is available from the management. Price 99 Euro.

You forgot:

12. Loud farting and grunting above the permitted 10 decibels on the EC approved sound meter, fitted in every stall, will incur a fine of not less than €40 payable by cash or Mastercard only.

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elkangorito    17

I think some posters left something out re the use of the left hand to wipe the freckle (anus). It should not be the left hand...it should be the hand opposite to the one you usually use, therefore normally left handed people would use their right hand for such a task.

The most interesting crap I had was in Papua New Guinea on the Kokada Track. At about 3am one morning in a very small village (it was also pitch black in the middle of the jungle), I sprang awake with a desperate 'urge'. It took me an incredible 10 anxious minutes to find the only thing in the village that could be a dunny. Basically, it was a 'lean-to' with a piece of 1" x 1" wood sticking straight up out of the ground. Beside the stick was a huge pile of HUGE leaves. Since I was brimming at the eyeballs, I didn't have too much time to think. What was this stick for? Surely they didn't poke it in a place where the sun doesn't shine? Just to make sure, I smelled it. No crap smell...what next? I touched the stick & it moved. It was a handle for a trap door, which covered a hole in the ground. After relieving myself, I began to wonder about the 'clean-up'. On closer inspection, these HUGE leaves were very slimey with a substance that smelled rather 'antiseptic'. Also, each leaf had a large & sharp thorn on the end. I tried using a leaf but it was trying to get something to stick to teflon...it didn't work. Oh well. Only fingers left. Since I'm right handed, left hand for this job. Afterwards, crush 1 or 2 HUGE leaves & use the copious juice to was hands as well as snap off the thorn to clean fingernails. Perfect.

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canuckamuck    16,891

I just shared some parts of this thread with my wife, she had a good laugh about the removing the pants completely part. I think I have got most of the toilet configurations mastered. A couple of days recovering from some bad food will give you all the practice you need. I take stuff out of my pants pockets because things might fall out. I keep my pants on but pulled down out of the way. I’m a pretty good shot it seems; the trick to aiming are in the steps (the place where you put your feet). Line your toes up with the front, and you should get a bull’s-eye every time. This way you need less water.

For cleanup the bum gun is the bomb. I almost forgot what a skid mark was. When there is a bucket and dipper I have found if you pour water from the top part of your great divide, the water runs naturally to the business area. This is more efficient and less messy than splashing it up.

I just spent some time in the mountains on the India Nepal border, things were tougher there. Sometimes no water, no tissue, no hang nam, and very few trees for cover. Darkness is your best friend in that situation. Watch were you're walking at night though :o

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mrt273nva    0
I have it! Equip all toilets with a baby walker! BTW, do the Thai have similar problems with western toilets?

i've seen shoe prints before on the rim of the seat of the western style toilet. I didn't feel to comfortable about sitting on that one.

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BANGKOK 23 August 2017 03:36
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