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How a short songthaew ride put me in a funk - Help!

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Really nice story, I wish you all the best.

 

When I go to the food courts in shopping malls cute guys are often smiling/winking at me/everybody. I just want to say that you shouldn't think too much of it. I asked about these guys before and more often than not they were not even gay, although they looked gay to me lol but the Thai's are not that easy to distinguish.

They are just being friendly. Don't think too much of it or *Thai script edited out* as the Thai's would say.

Edited by Scott
Thai script edited out
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I have been in similar situations. Out of 100 bus/boat/BTS/MRT rides, there is one exchange of knowing looks with a boy who roughly fits my specifications (but so far I always found an excuse not to chat him up, too old/fat/hair, too far away from home, whatever), and when I or he gets off, I or he looks back. A few cases that I have chatted up gorgeous boys on the bus, but they were not gay.

 

I rarely take a taxi in Bangkok. I might meet my future boyfriend in a bus, but not in a taxi.

 

On 26.3.2017 at 7:53 PM, tominbkk said:

Romance is not part of the Thai pysche, they are much more pragmatic.  Money or lust is primary, but when the libido is calmed and the fiddler is paid there ain't much left behind the curtain.

Well said, worth quoting for those who missed it.

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Here is a poem by (I think) Susan Spaulding that I found many years ago that will fit in with your post.

 

-

Two shall be born the whole wide world apart;
And speak in different tongues, and have no thought
Each of the other’s being, and no heed;
And these o’er unknown seas to unknown lands
Shall cross, escaping wreck, defying death,         5
And all unconsciously shape every act
And bend each wandering step to this one end,—
That, one day, out of darkness, they shall meet
And read life’s meaning in each other’s eyes.
And two shall walk some narrow way of life         10
So nearly side by side, that should one turn
Ever so little space to left or right
Their needs must stand acknowledged face to face.
And yet, with wistful eyes that never meet,
With groping hands that never clasp, and lips         15
Calling in vain to ears that never hear,
They seek each other all their weary days

And die unsatisfied—and this is Fate!

 

 

 

 

Edited by snooky

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On 5/20/2017 at 6:54 PM, snooky said:

Here is a poem by (I think) Susan Spaulding that I found many years ago that will fit in with your post.

 

-

Two shall be born the whole wide world apart;  
And speak in different tongues, and have no thought  
Each of the other’s being, and no heed;  
And these o’er unknown seas to unknown lands  
Shall cross, escaping wreck, defying death,         5
And all unconsciously shape every act  
And bend each wandering step to this one end,—  
That, one day, out of darkness, they shall meet  
And read life’s meaning in each other’s eyes.  
And two shall walk some narrow way of life         10
So nearly side by side, that should one turn  
Ever so little space to left or right  
Their needs must stand acknowledged face to face.  
And yet, with wistful eyes that never meet,  
With groping hands that never clasp, and lips         15
Calling in vain to ears that never hear,  
They seek each other all their weary days  

And die unsatisfied—and this is Fate!

 

 

 

 

Wow, now I just want to lie down and die... a different version  of "Les Miz" shall I say? By the way has anyone seen "Sliding Doors" which gives viewer (dis)safistaction to know both outcomes, should one be so curious... starring Gwyneth Paltrow.

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On 5/22/2017 at 5:46 PM, smo said:

Wow, now I just want to lie down and die... a different version  of "Les Miz" shall I say? By the way has anyone seen "Sliding Doors" which gives viewer (dis)safistaction to know both outcomes, should one be so curious... starring Gwyneth Paltrow.

Good movie!  I sometimes wonder how my life would have been different if I had not seen that movie.  :)

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On 5/22/2017 at 5:46 PM, smo said:

Wow, now I just want to lie down and die... a different version  of "Les Miz" shall I say? By the way has anyone seen "Sliding Doors" which gives viewer (dis)safistaction to know both outcomes, should one be so curious... starring Gwyneth Paltrow.

Actually, it should give you more reason to 'look' and take advantage of a situation when it arises, rather than just say to yourself 'there's nothing there, only a look'.  Not to say that you should be aggressive, but show your interest to the other party and see what happens - you never know!  Not like we are in the US or EU where we would get a punch in the nose for looking and smiling.

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On 5/31/2017 at 4:44 PM, snooky said:

Actually, it should give you more reason to 'look' and take advantage of a situation when it arises, rather than just say to yourself 'there's nothing there, only a look'.  Not to say that you should be aggressive, but show your interest to the other party and see what happens - you never know!  Not like we are in the US or EU where we would get a punch in the nose for looking and smiling.

You are absolutely right, though Susan Spaulding's poem was a bit "potent" read bleak for me, even though I'm no lonnnnnger spring chicken. Well, it's been half a year now since the incident, and I'm still... learning (ie "looking.") Just the other day, I was at the food court, and another near-hit, and why it was not a hit? (though I was just a tad more alert this time)

 

I think I find the answer, again from the movies. Here's an excerpt of a review for Quentin Tarantino's "Jackie Brown" which this year got a 20th anniversary celebration in its (and my) hometown in Los Angeles:

 

"I think that the reason it has been less successful is largely because of the age factor: This is a movie primarily concerned with aging, which can be demonstrated through its characters: Jackie is an unsuccessful middle-aged flight attendant that has to smuggle shit for Ordell in order to make ends meet, Max is a middle-aged bail bondsman who seems pretty lonely, Louis is a middle-aged criminal that has been released from prison.

 

The last scene, where Max declines to run away to Spain with Jackie and her stolen half-million dollars, is heartbreaking. As he answers the phone to take yet another bail bond order, she walks out of his life forever. Only when he hangs up the phone does his face reveal the pain and remorse of his indecision…he knows he should have taken this chance for a one-of-a-kind love affair. But the inertia of his own lonely existence kept him right where he is. Meanwhile, Jackie’s driving away with tears in her eyes, halfheartedly singing along to one of the most heart-rending soul songs imaginable, Bobby Womack’s “Across 110th Street.” The film opened with that same song, and now it has a new relevance for Jackie as she’s finally found a way out of the “ghetto.” She has a half-million dollars and will be set for life. But she’s alone."

 

Oh yeah, the theme of aging and loneliness. And Tarantino, of all people, got it when he was just 3 movies into his career. I usually would identify myself with just one side of a romance, but kudos to Quentin for making me feel both Max and Jackie after they parted.

 

Edited by smo
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Well, if I may respectfully add a comment smo? Having personally witnessed in Thailand; and all money aside - the sexual preference of gerontophilia.

IMHO an occidental upbringing for me at least simply exposes how goofy and flawed our programming can be where once a person hits 35-years of age they're suddenly considered to be 'invisible'.

I find gerontophilia therefore to be yet another charming aspect of SEA culture, where genuine love like this can and does bloom without any 'quid pro quo' mentality at all.

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And you told some woman about it?! You really need to be talking to a psychiatrist instead. But my guess is that you probably already have done that for years. Needless to say, anyone else would jump at the chance in a split second to pick up a doll like what you described. I mean if he really was THAT cute and handsome. I have never picked up any of the money boys who cruise me in Bangkok

Although I did get a few in Pattaya a few years ago. Each time I go back there, there aren't any really cute ones anymore. Not cute enough for me anyway, I am particular. Good luck to all of us!

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Thaivisa Connect

 

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BANGKOK 24 January 2018 08:51
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