CharlotteQ

Possible blacklisted? Please help.

149 posts in this topic

ID: 41   Posted

2 hours ago, moe666 said:

Please enlighten us who do the majority Thai women marry

I would like to think that most Thai women marry men.

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ID: 43   Posted

To the OP .... I applaud you for your extraordinary 100% grasp of the English language.

 

Sentence formation, grammar, punctuation, American spelling .... all 100% correct. Perhaps many Chinese nationals have this ability. I just found it a bit surprising. Well done.

 

An interpreter-translation career awaits you. Move on from your unpleasant Thailand experience.

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ID: 44   Posted

2 minutes ago, electric said:

To the OP .... I applaud you for your extraordinary 100% grasp of the English language.

 

Sentence formation, grammar, punctuation, American spelling .... all 100% correct. Perhaps many Chinese nationals have this ability. I just found it a bit surprising. Well done.

 

An interpreter-translation career awaits you. Move on from your unpleasant Thailand experience.

I can speak and write Mandarin ( and 3 different dialects of Chinese), English, Thai, some Bahasa Melayu. 

 

May I get some suggestions for my career options? hehehe :P

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ID: 45   Posted (edited)

24 minutes ago, Moonmoon said:

So after all that had happened to you, if you dont mind me asking, why are you coming back to Thailand?

It's very kind of you to have asked.

TBH after all that had happened, I've received little understanding from people including my own family. So I'm not expecting anyone to understand what I'm going to say in response to your question. But, the truth is, I've been abused to a point that I could no longer carry on my life as a normal human being. I've developed severe heart problems due to the constant abuse from my ex, as well as depression and anxiety disorder. My ex knew that perfectly well. He even wrote me a signed letter promising that he would help me get recovery with his best effort. However all of that turned out to be a lie.

 

After the mental hospital, the police station etc...My condition worsened so much that I felt utterly hopeless. Thus my attempted suicide. My family fail to understand the reason for my suicide. They just want to drug me and quickly "get me back to normal". I feel that I must make things right even if no one else would fight alongside with me. That's why I'm going back to Thailand, the origin of my problems, to confront them whichever way I could find. The consequences no longer worry me, as I have already been to hell and back.

Edited by CharlotteQ

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ID: 46   Posted

13 minutes ago, electric said:

To the OP .... I applaud you for your extraordinary 100% grasp of the English language.

 

Sentence formation, grammar, punctuation, American spelling .... all 100% correct. Perhaps many Chinese nationals have this ability. I just found it a bit surprising. Well done.

 

An interpreter-translation career awaits you. Move on from your unpleasant Thailand experience.

Thank you. I'm actually 1/4 Caucasian and 3/4 Asian. As a kid growing up in the capital city, I went to an international school where everything was taught in English (I do noticed the typo in my title which I failed to notice initially, now it's too late to fix it). Then I spent the next few years with my family in the UK. I feel very lucky to have experienced so many different cultures at an young age.

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ID: 47   Posted

3 hours ago, CharlotteQ said:

It's very kind of you to have asked.

TBH after all that had happened, I've received little understanding from people including my own family. So I'm not expecting anyone to understand what I'm going to say in response to your question. But, the truth is, I've been abused to a point that I could no longer carry on my life as a normal human being. I've developed severe heart problems due to the constant abuse from my ex, as well as depression and anxiety disorder. My ex knew that perfectly well. He even wrote me a signed letter promising that he would help me get recovery with his best effort. However all of that turned out to be a lie.

 

After the mental hospital, the police station etc...My condition worsened so much that I felt utterly hopeless. Thus my attempted suicide. My family fail to understand the reason for my suicide. They just want to drug me and quickly "get me back to normal". I feel that I must make things right even if no one else would fight alongside with me. That's why I'm going back to Thailand, the origin of my problems, to confront them whichever way I could find. The consequences no longer worry me, as I have already been to hell and back.

Hi, Charlotte, I would advice you against doing that.

 

You already know they can bribe the police here and have you thrown in hospital or jail with all kinds of trouble.

I respect you wanting to get resolve, but with even your family not helping you, if you come again, who can you fall back or rely on in times of trouble?

 

If you want to come back and enjoy a new life, rediscover Thailand and heal yourself, I would please of course please do so.

but please move on from this ex, this hell of a life you fought so hard to break free from.

 

I understand your situation completely. I had been a victim of a similar circumstances before, my money all taken from me by an ex Thai girlfriend, and got into some trouble.

I had no one other than myself to blame for being too trusting.

 

But I left that behind, met another Thai woman who is a business woman,  not from the nightlife kind of woman and am happily married and am having a good and fulfilled life now.

 

So I hope I can encourage you to come back to Thailand but not back to your ex.

 

 

<<<<Foreign language removed>>>>

 

 

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ID: 48   Posted (edited)

To the OP, I'd suggest you get a visa, hop on a plane and see if anything stops you.  Unlike Europe or N. America, a R/T ticket to China is going to be cheap, the flight will be a few hours and I think they're still doing visas for free(?).  That's a couple of thousand RMB and a day of your time and you'll have a definitive answer when you either get stamped in, or turned around.

 

Anything else is either guessing, or it's going to cost you just about as much and then can you really trust the answer anyway?

 

BTW, if your tie to Thailand was an abusive husband, may I suggest anywhere else in SEA?   I hear the Philippines is nice...  Coming for the purpose of a confrontation is a monumentally bad idea.

Edited by impulse
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ID: 49   Posted

2 hours ago, Moonmoon said:

Hi, Charlotte, I would advice you against doing that.

 

You already know they can bribe the police here and have you thrown in hospital or jail with all kinds of trouble.

I respect you wanting to get resolve, but with even your family not helping you, if you come again, who can you fall back or rely on in times of trouble?

 

If you want to come back and enjoy a new life, rediscover Thailand and heal yourself, I would please of course please do so.

but please move on from this ex, this hell of a life you fought so hard to break free from.

 

I understand your situation completely. I had been a victim of a similar circumstances before, my money all taken from me by an ex Thai girlfriend, and got into some trouble.

I had no one other than myself to blame for being too trusting.

 

But I left that behind, met another Thai woman who is a business woman,  not from the nightlife kind of woman and am happily married and am having a good and fulfilled life now.

 

So I hope I can encourage you to come back to Thailand but not back to your ex.

 

 

<<<<Foreign language removed>>>>

 

 

Hi Moonmoon,

I'm so sorry to hear what happened to you. So happy to know that you are having a lovely fresh start :}

I guess what I really want, is to ask him face to face, "after all that you have done, how do you suppose that I go on living? " Or maybe just a simple apology.

I will look forward to being able to start a new life after finally being able to leave all the horrors behind.

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ID: 50   Posted

7 minutes ago, impulse said:

To the OP, I'd suggest you get a visa, hop on a plane and see if anything stops you.  Unlike Europe or N. America, a R/T ticket to China is going to be cheap, the flight will be a few hours and I think they're still doing visas for free(?).  That's a couple of thousand RMB and a day of your time and you'll have a definitive answer when you either get stamped in, or turned around.

 

Anything else is either guessing, or it's going to cost you just about as much and can you really trust the answer anyway.

 

BTW, if your tie to Thailand was an abusive husband, may I suggest anywhere else in SEA?   I hear the Philippines is nice...  Coming for the purpose of a confrontation is a monumentally bad idea.

Thanks impulse. I'm actually trying to find someone to go to Thailand with me as a precaution seeing how my ex got away with so much last time just because I was all by myself. That's why I'm trying to make sure nothing goes wrong with my visa, otherwise I would have wasted other people's valuable time for nothing. But seeing that I may not find any help after all, I might just try what you suggested.

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ID: 52   Posted

1 hour ago, CharlotteQ said:

Hi Moonmoon,

I'm so sorry to hear what happened to you. So happy to know that you are having a lovely fresh start :}

I guess what I really want, is to ask him face to face, "after all that you have done, how do you suppose that I go on living? " Or maybe just a simple apology.

I will look forward to being able to start a new life after finally being able to leave all the horrors behind.

Charlotte, pls do not do that face to face. 

From what you have told us in your posts, this guy is obviously violent and Thais cannot suffer from loss of face.

You were falsely thrown into mental hospital by him n his family becos Thais cannot lose face. The family cannot afford them to have a bad name.

From my last few sentences I hope i can stress it upon you that Thais cannot lose face n if u do what u plan to do, u will only suffer more.

When I was cheated by my ex, she also told her friends n my friends many stories about me, but the truth was after i was dumped n left with nothing, a Thai took pity on me and offered me to work for 200baht a day in his internet cafe n sleep there. 

Even then she found out where I was and still wanted to create trouble for me. 

 

If what has happened to you is not a bad example enough then take into both our examples into account n let it go.

Just go n have a better life. You want an answer why he can do what he did? He is a bastard n scum. He will never answer truthfully or ask for your forgiveness, if he does, maybe he wants something from you again.

Let time heal your wounds. Sometimes in the heat of the moment it is hard to see, once you give it more time and go have a new life and when you are in the midst of enjoying your new and good life, think back on your ex, then you will see its not that important anymore, why? 

 

Becos you will have much more important stuff that is making you happy then to go back to your ex again.

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ID: 53   Posted

Hey Charlotte,

I hardly write comments - but I read the topic completely and I want to give you also my 5 Cent opinion.

 

DO NOT GO BACK TO THAILAND ... same as Moonmoon and others try to tell you.

I have read your stories - and I am happy I have a Chinese GF here in TH and I only lost nearly all my money trying to start a business here - which is hard if you are not Thai and don't speak enough of the language.

And as Moonmoon said about "Loss of Face" - I know China and Chinese too well - I guess that may be your problem too. But if I was you - try to find a new partner - from oversees - try to forget, try to get happy and when you are and you have it all - then show off to your Ex if you then still think you have to ...

Get stronger before you fight. Don't fight a fight that you can not win. Train for it ... get yourself better. Improve.

And when you are ready - show the world that you made it.

And by the way - and I know it may be hard for people who haven't been thru what you have been thru - but suicide is not the option and also not "I don't care what happens to me" ...

Even that your parents might not understand you - and how could they - try to get inside their minds - they have been raised Chinese and will always be. You have evolved to a multi-culty person (you are no longer a real Chinese ... ;-) !!)

[That was actually a positive thought ...lol].

Don't blame your family to not understand you ... they were raised different.

Go online - search for friends abroad ... many friends - visit them wherever they are - US, Germany, Australia ... flight tickets are getting cheaper and cheaper  (if you don't book originating from China). 

There are different ways to heal your wounds. And there are different ways to get back on your Ex. 

But you will need to practice patience ...

You already got a lot of people who wrote nice answers in this post and whom I guess you could consider friends if you wanted - I see so many topics where people write so many bad comments - you hardly have that in here.

 

Think about it and really - consider everything else but coming to Thailand.

Regarding your Embassy/Country - they will be the ones who might want to stop you going to Thailand ... so even if you get a Thai Visa - you know that also China as a country hates loosing face - so they don't want their citizens having or doing trouble abroad ... they can stop you from leaving the country ... so don't do more what could upset you or your country ... do positive things for yourself first !!! ;-)

And - talking about it might help you getting over it ...

 

Hey - good luck and don't waste your life ... it is too precious.

 

H

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ID: 54   Posted (edited)

1 hour ago, Moonmoon said:

Charlotte, pls do not do that face to face. 

From what you have told us in your posts, this guy is obviously violent and Thais cannot suffer from loss of face.

You were falsely thrown into mental hospital by him n his family becos Thais cannot lose face. The family cannot afford them to have a bad name.

From my last few sentences I hope i can stress it upon you that Thais cannot lose face n if u do what u plan to do, u will only suffer more.

When I was cheated by my ex, she also told her friends n my friends many stories about me, but the truth was after i was dumped n left with nothing, a Thai took pity on me and offered me to work for 200baht a day in his internet cafe n sleep there. 

Even then she found out where I was and still wanted to create trouble for me. 

 

If what has happened to you is not a bad example enough then take into both our examples into account n let it go.

Just go n have a better life. You want an answer why he can do what he did? He is a bastard n scum. He will never answer truthfully or ask for your forgiveness, if he does, maybe he wants something from you again.

Let time heal your wounds. Sometimes in the heat of the moment it is hard to see, once you give it more time and go have a new life and when you are in the midst of enjoying your new and good life, think back on your ex, then you will see its not that important anymore, why? 

 

Becos you will have much more important stuff that is making you happy then to go back to your ex again.

Thank you again for sharing your heartbreaking story just to help convince me.

 

But is there really no way to pursue justice in Thailand as a foreigner? That when horrible things happen to us, we should just shrug them off no matter how much they hurt you, and how much pain you are STILL going through as  a direct result of their terrible crimes? 

Edited by CharlotteQ
typo

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ID: 55   Posted

13 hours ago, dbrenn said:

There are many nice Thai men who are very devoted husbands and fathers. A minority do have problems with controlling their tempers, as do a minority of Thai women - take a look at how some of the bar girls behave to their husbands.

 

Then again, there are lots of violent people back home too.

 

How could you manage to do that?

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ID: 56   Posted

12 minutes ago, HEKA01 said:

Hey Charlotte,

I hardly write comments - but I read the topic completely and I want to give you also my 5 Cent opinion.

 

DO NOT GO BACK TO THAILAND ... same as Moonmoon and others try to tell you.

I have read your stories - and I am happy I have a Chinese GF here in TH and I only lost nearly all my money trying to start a business here - which is hard if you are not Thai and don't speak enough of the language.

And as Moonmoon said about "Loss of Face" - I know China and Chinese too well - I guess that may be your problem too. But if I was you - try to find a new partner - from oversees - try to forget, try to get happy and when you are and you have it all - then show off to your Ex if you then still think you have to ...

Get stronger before you fight. Don't fight a fight that you can not win. Train for it ... get yourself better. Improve.

And when you are ready - show the world that you made it.

And by the way - and I know it may be hard for people who haven't been thru what you have been thru - but suicide is not the option and also not "I don't care what happens to me" ...

Even that your parents might not understand you - and how could they - try to get inside their minds - they have been raised Chinese and will always be. You have evolved to a multi-culty person (you are no longer a real Chinese ... ;-) !!)

[That was actually a positive thought ...lol].

Don't blame your family to not understand you ... they were raised different.

Go online - search for friends abroad ... many friends - visit them wherever they are - US, Germany, Australia ... flight tickets are getting cheaper and cheaper  (if you don't book originating from China). 

There are different ways to heal your wounds. And there are different ways to get back on your Ex. 

But you will need to practice patience ...

You already got a lot of people who wrote nice answers in this post and whom I guess you could consider friends if you wanted - I see so many topics where people write so many bad comments - you hardly have that in here.

 

Think about it and really - consider everything else but coming to Thailand.

Regarding your Embassy/Country - they will be the ones who might want to stop you going to Thailand ... so even if you get a Thai Visa - you know that also China as a country hates loosing face - so they don't want their citizens having or doing trouble abroad ... they can stop you from leaving the country ... so don't do more what could upset you or your country ... do positive things for yourself first !!! ;-)

And - talking about it might help you getting over it ...

 

Hey - good luck and don't waste your life ... it is too precious.

 

H

Thank you H.

I wanna say I'm not those who complain about the horrible things that happened to them yet unwilling to make changes. I've been strong for much too long. My mom left me alone in Thailand after my last suicide, where I struggled with the aftermath of a ativan overdose and severe heart episodes for the following few months. Her abandonment seemed like a total shock to me, not to mention heartbreaking. Yet I decided I was given a second chance at life by surviving. So since then, I've never stopped working towards my recovery. It's not easy to pick up the pieces my ex torn my life into and threw back at my face with. 

 

But I do feel that this is something I have to do. To confront the root of all my suffering right now. It's not about revenge, or compensation. I'm just following my heart to do what I need to get a proper closure. I may never have a full recovery after all that I've suffered through. But I don't want to tell myself to give up before even trying.

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ID: 57   Posted



 I feel that I must take matters into my own hand to make things right. That's the purpose of my return to Thailand.

 

IMHO, this is absolutely NOT a good thing to do.  It will only open old wounds.

 

You need to move on with your life, in another country, not Thailand.

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ID: 58   Posted

2 hours ago, geisha said:

CharlotteQ, I'm sorry about what happened to you, but I feel you must not come back to Thailand. I am quite sure that you are too fragile and not up to confronting your ex, which is what I think you want to do, am I right ? This would be a very dangerous thing to do, it could go from a bad situation to something much worse. 

Please tell yourself that nothing good will come from this, that you will be hurting yourself and all around you. You obviously had a very toxic relationship with this man. He managed to break you, don't let him do it again. I don't know how old you are, but believe me please, you can go on with life, turn it around, and start to enjoy and appreciate new friends, jobs . It's the same when you loose someone you love through illness or accident. You are heartbroken, think that your future is over, but eventually you learn to live , accept the loss and get on with your life. You will too. Courage !

Charlotte, Geisha has hit the nail right on the head. You seem to be obsessed with returning to Thailand and getting some sort of answer to what has made a major and a very nasty impact on your life. 

 

Don't even think about going back, try and put the past behind you and positively concentrate on your future. Any older person with more experience in life will assure you that time is a great healer. Many of us look back at catastrophes we've experienced in our lives and can see how daft we were and know now that we should have handled things differently and with a clearer head.

 

Many of us on this forum have spent a lot of time in Thailand and in any sort of dispute with a Thai national with money there can only ever be one winner and it won't be the foreigner.

 

Put it behind you and start again while you're still young enough to do so.

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ID: 59   Posted

3 hours ago, CharlotteQ said:

That's why I'm going back to Thailand, the origin of my problems, to confront them whichever way I could find. The consequences no longer worry me, as I have already been to hell and back.

I am sympathetic. You have been through a lot of very emotional experiences. However, I cannot imagine just being in Thailand fixing anything unless you intend to visit the places where the emotional trauma actually took place, and confront those involved. That would be a really bad idea. If what you have related about your ex is true (and recognize, I am sorry to say this, you may not be totally objective about him) confronting him would put you in serious physical danger. Do not even think about trying to get revenge. Any such attempt would lead to consequences ranging from very bad to totally catastrophic.

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ID: 60   Posted

3 hours ago, CharlotteQ said:

I guess what I really want, is to ask him face to face, "after all that you have done, how do you suppose that I go on living? " Or maybe just a simple apology.

No possible good can come of that.

 

No doubt you have been trying to contact him in other ways, and he has been ignoring you. I would imagine you had opportunities to seek explanations and apologies before your original departure. If you are honest to yourself, you already have a pretty good idea of what he would say.

 

If you did manage to confront him again in person, the best that could happen is that he continues to ignore you (if he has cooled down from the original events and recognizes that hurting you further is pointless). More likely, you are both going to become violent. Your protestations of self defense are not going to be well accepted by the police if you come out on top. After all, you will need to admit to initiating the confrontation. If he comes out on top, you end up in hospital or worse with still no answer to your questions.

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